I AM SO ANGRY!
- Thread starter MarlaGaz
- Start date
Call me selfish but I never loan anything out, except to my mother. I have been so burned by people who never return books, clothes, etc. I let my best friend borrow my sterling silver bracelet on her wedding day and the look on her face when I asked for it back (six months later!) you'd have thought that I told her I was sleeping with her husband. It's just not worth it!
I don't understand why some people take offense when you ask for the borrowed item back, but they do. If someone expresses an interest in something I have, I tell them where they could buy it. End of story.
I don't understand why some people take offense when you ask for the borrowed item back, but they do. If someone expresses an interest in something I have, I tell them where they could buy it. End of story.
kathryn
Cathlete
I hate that, too! Especially since she didn't ask permission.
Just make sure you keep asking her if she's ordered it yet!
I'm teaching a French Music class this fall, and for part of it am making some copies of songs for students to listen to in the lab (and NOT take home, because I don't want to encourage copying without paying the creators of the songs. They will have some other CD's to listen to at home, and I imagine some of them will copy them before they give them back, but I will encourage them to legally download for pay or even buy entire CD's legally rather than do that). I also give presentations on French Song (to French teachers), and people sometimes ask if I could make a cassette copy of the songs I play that they could take with them. Sorry, but I don't like that idea at all. Aside from being illegal, I think it's unethical as well.
Just make sure you keep asking her if she's ordered it yet!
I'm teaching a French Music class this fall, and for part of it am making some copies of songs for students to listen to in the lab (and NOT take home, because I don't want to encourage copying without paying the creators of the songs. They will have some other CD's to listen to at home, and I imagine some of them will copy them before they give them back, but I will encourage them to legally download for pay or even buy entire CD's legally rather than do that). I also give presentations on French Song (to French teachers), and people sometimes ask if I could make a cassette copy of the songs I play that they could take with them. Sorry, but I don't like that idea at all. Aside from being illegal, I think it's unethical as well.
kathryn
Cathlete
>Marla,
>
>That is why I hate loaning things out. I have loaned DVD's out
>before and not gotten them back.
With very, very few exceptions (ONE person, who KNOWS that they must be treated with care and returned in the condition they were lent out in...or better!),I will not loan out CD's, DVD's, books or videos to people (unless I really don't want/need them anymore). A lot of people don't take the care of these things that I do.
I learned long ago, when I lent some comic books to a neighbor and never got them back ( she supposedly "put them in my mailbox" and someone else must have taken them! Yeah, right, somebody went up on our front porch, looked in the mailbox, and took 3 comic books) not to trust others with my "stuff"!
>
>That is why I hate loaning things out. I have loaned DVD's out
>before and not gotten them back.
With very, very few exceptions (ONE person, who KNOWS that they must be treated with care and returned in the condition they were lent out in...or better!),I will not loan out CD's, DVD's, books or videos to people (unless I really don't want/need them anymore). A lot of people don't take the care of these things that I do.
I learned long ago, when I lent some comic books to a neighbor and never got them back ( she supposedly "put them in my mailbox" and someone else must have taken them! Yeah, right, somebody went up on our front porch, looked in the mailbox, and took 3 comic books) not to trust others with my "stuff"!
kathryn
Cathlete
>No she didn't, she copied it. So what. You loaned it out to
>her. Don't loan out dvds then. They make these burners for a
>reason and I use mine regularly. We copy stuff all the time.
I wouldn't brag about this.
Copying without the permission of the creator, or downloading from a site that does not compensate the creator IS stealing. If everyone made copies instead of legally purchasing DVD's, CD's, videos, then the music and film industries would go bankrupt, not to mention the artists, singers, etc., who deserve compensation for their work. You are, in a sense, taking money from them.
"They" made burners so people can legally copy CD's/DVD's, etc. that contain images or sounds that THEY recorded (ie: home videos). Also, just because something is available (ie: a bong!), doesn't mean that the purpose for which you use it is legal.
>her. Don't loan out dvds then. They make these burners for a
>reason and I use mine regularly. We copy stuff all the time.
I wouldn't brag about this.
Copying without the permission of the creator, or downloading from a site that does not compensate the creator IS stealing. If everyone made copies instead of legally purchasing DVD's, CD's, videos, then the music and film industries would go bankrupt, not to mention the artists, singers, etc., who deserve compensation for their work. You are, in a sense, taking money from them.
"They" made burners so people can legally copy CD's/DVD's, etc. that contain images or sounds that THEY recorded (ie: home videos). Also, just because something is available (ie: a bong!), doesn't mean that the purpose for which you use it is legal.
kathryn
Cathlete
Does
>anyone know a polite way to: 1) ask for it back, and 2)
>decline when someone asks to borrow one?
>
>Lunacat
1) Just ask! "Hi, (name), remember that DVD's I loaned you (when)? I need it back for this weekend (or whenever--in about 3 days). When can I get it from you?" You don't need to say WHY you want it back, it's yours!
2) "No, I'm sorry, I don't lend out (X)." Smile. No need to say why, you just don't.
>anyone know a polite way to: 1) ask for it back, and 2)
>decline when someone asks to borrow one?
>
>Lunacat
1) Just ask! "Hi, (name), remember that DVD's I loaned you (when)? I need it back for this weekend (or whenever--in about 3 days). When can I get it from you?" You don't need to say WHY you want it back, it's yours!
2) "No, I'm sorry, I don't lend out (X)." Smile. No need to say why, you just don't.
kathryn
Cathlete
>I don't understand why some people take offense when you ask
>for the borrowed item back, but they do. If someone expresses
>an interest in something I have, I tell them where they could
>buy it. End of story.
I don't understand that, either. Or people not wanting to be "rude" and ask for something back.
I think some people just have a feeling of entitlement, that means that they should be able to borrow something for as long as THEY want. Wrong! You borrow on the lender's terms. Period.
Sometimes, those old sayings, like "neither a borrower nor a lender be," have a lot of truth in them.
>for the borrowed item back, but they do. If someone expresses
>an interest in something I have, I tell them where they could
>buy it. End of story.
I don't understand that, either. Or people not wanting to be "rude" and ask for something back.
I think some people just have a feeling of entitlement, that means that they should be able to borrow something for as long as THEY want. Wrong! You borrow on the lender's terms. Period.
Sometimes, those old sayings, like "neither a borrower nor a lender be," have a lot of truth in them.
Yes, just ask for it back. I was burned back in 7th grade I lent one of my video tapes to a friend and never got it back. And I have never lent anything ever again.
Remember you paid good money for that item, you shouldn't let someone rip you off. Simply ask for it back and be persistant about it. It's yours, you lent it to them to try, not as a gift to keep forever.
And yes there are people who do this all the time, could I borrow this? And they never return it, and they even forget they have it. Oh no I gave it back to you months ago. Some people get a thrill out of it. Like shop lifters do. And it's like shop lifting. Your taking something that you didn't pay for.
I had a neighbor a long time ago, who was a lifter, would borrow whatever she could and then swear up and down she gave it back to you, even if she was standing there with it in her hand. She would tell you, I gave you, your's back. this was the one I bought. Everyone in the apartment complex, hated her for this, as she had managed to get people to lent her this or that, half her apartment was someone elses, stuff. When she couldn't pay her rent, the manager open the door, and said if you can prove anything here is yours, get it, the rest I'm putting on the curb. She lost about everything she owned that day, I'm not sure if everything she had was someone else's or a few people decided to pay her back. But there was only a bed, and about five boxes worth of stuff on the curb waiting for her to either pick it up, or the trash man to toss it.
Kit
Remember you paid good money for that item, you shouldn't let someone rip you off. Simply ask for it back and be persistant about it. It's yours, you lent it to them to try, not as a gift to keep forever.
And yes there are people who do this all the time, could I borrow this? And they never return it, and they even forget they have it. Oh no I gave it back to you months ago. Some people get a thrill out of it. Like shop lifters do. And it's like shop lifting. Your taking something that you didn't pay for.
I had a neighbor a long time ago, who was a lifter, would borrow whatever she could and then swear up and down she gave it back to you, even if she was standing there with it in her hand. She would tell you, I gave you, your's back. this was the one I bought. Everyone in the apartment complex, hated her for this, as she had managed to get people to lent her this or that, half her apartment was someone elses, stuff. When she couldn't pay her rent, the manager open the door, and said if you can prove anything here is yours, get it, the rest I'm putting on the curb. She lost about everything she owned that day, I'm not sure if everything she had was someone else's or a few people decided to pay her back. But there was only a bed, and about five boxes worth of stuff on the curb waiting for her to either pick it up, or the trash man to toss it.
Kit
I didn't read through everyone elses post BUT its one thing to copy a dvd ....(I didn't know this)Some companies put some sort of "something" on dvds so that if copied,the orignal doesn't work.Celine Dion does it with her dvd;'s, and c.ds. I only know this b/c a co-worker said. You may want to make sure your dvd works when you get it back.
Lori
Lori
Cruncholi
Cathlete
Marla:
That stinks. I loaned 3 of my VHS tapes to a friend and after about 1 year she returned only two of them (after repeated reminding by me) and said she "would look for" the other one. She just found it two weeks ago (about 2 years after I let her borrow it) and the sound does not work! It's Circuit Max and I'm peeved!
Lunacat:
Attorneys have thick skin, just tell her you need the DVD back because you want to use it.
That stinks. I loaned 3 of my VHS tapes to a friend and after about 1 year she returned only two of them (after repeated reminding by me) and said she "would look for" the other one. She just found it two weeks ago (about 2 years after I let her borrow it) and the sound does not work! It's Circuit Max and I'm peeved!
Lunacat:
Attorneys have thick skin, just tell her you need the DVD back because you want to use it.