How to keep a healthy level of insanity

allwildgirl

Cathlete
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the Memo field of all your checks, write "For Sexual Favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with The prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to go."

12. Go to Wal Mart and put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won, I won!"

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
 
LOL!!! I especially like #14 - think I'll bring some mosquito netting to work on Monday.

Thanks for the laugh..

Tammy
 
My sister's fiance actually does #17! He said that people look at him like he is totally nuts! It totally cracks up my sister!

Missy
 
These are so great Shelley! My SIL sent them to me about a month ago, and I put them in my favorites folder! Just thinking of doing these things cracks me up!:7 Kali
 
OMG!...I think I've done 15!!!! wanted to do #1....and 18 and 19....http://bestsmileys.com/lol/5.gif[/img]....Thanks Shelley!!...Carole
 
:7 :7 :7 Love no. 17! That is outrageous!

I've done a version of no. 19 in reverse. My son, when he's angry at me for being told what or what not to do, tells me how much he hates me. I've told him, "If you hate me so much, maybe it's time for you to look for another mom," then I walked to the door, opened it, and said, "Go on now, knock on all our neighbors' doors and ask if they know someone who can be your mom." Of course that only made him more upset and he refused to go. I walked to the kitchen, got on the phone, pretended to dial and said to no one, "Hello... is this The Mommy Adoption Center? Yes... oh, I'm sorry to be calling so late, but I have a little boy who needs a new mom. You gotta find this poor little kid someone he can bully and order around. Oh, and she's got to love Buzz Lightyear, that's a big requirement, otherwise the relationship won't work." Obviously this doesn't solve anything, but it helps me keep myself from having a tantrum myself.

Okay, okay. Shame on me.:)

Pinky
 
Too cute, Pinky! At least you don't give in to him. That would sometimes feel a lot easier, wouldn't it?

Marla
 
Shelley that was too funny! In fact I plan to start doing some of them just to amuse myself:)

Pinky I have a similar story but I am almost embarrased to tell it. When my son was 4 he was a VERY strong willed child. One day I told him he had to learn to behave and listen to me as his brother (which he doesn't have) was ate by a shark because he didn't listen. It backed fired on me though as he thought that was cool! He went to preschool and told that story! OMG was I ever busy explaining to his teachers!!!

Terri
 
YAY -- I needed a laugh today!

I do #15 all the time! It seems totally normal to me ;-)

I'd like to try #9...but haven't worked up the courage yet. I mean who can be in a bad mood while skipping? It's impossible! I think I'll skip to my car as I'm leaving work today ... since nobody else is here.

Shonie
 
LOL! I have felt like doing #15 lot of times. We have a party to go to at least once a week! i had a friend that did #3 all the time. I'd like to give #17,18,19 a try.

Thanks for the laugh!

Dallas
 

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