How long do I have before it starts to HURT?

Monica11

Cathlete
Having never done this before, I am curious about the progression of labor. I read that for a first delivery, average labor is 18 hours. But for much of that, you're supposed to stay home and relax right? Does all of it hurt, just to varying degrees? That is, I know that active labor hurts a lot more than what comes first, but is all of it painful? Are the first contractions like BH contractions, which don't really hurt at all? I ask because I have to commute a few days a week and my husband is worried that I'll go into labor when I'm an hour away from home. I try to assure him that early labor isn't so intense that I couldn't drive myself, but what do I know? If I started having contractions and left immediately, would I likely have enough safe driving time to make it home? I know everyone is different, and labor goes more quickly for some than others, but I'm curious about the typical experience. I won't drive in there during the last week or so, but it seems crazy to stop now, with three whole weeks (and lots of work still to do!) to go.
 
Hi! Wow- you are in the home stretch! I'll try to answer some of your questions. I think my labors were very typical- no big surprises, no big rushes, typical lengths, etc.
I would say for your first labor experience, you will know "today is the day" at least 10-12 hours before the baby is born. And yes, if you ask me, you can certainly drive during the early portions of that.

The pains are different from BH or anything else you have been feeling while pregnant, which is why you'll know things are different, and this is labor. The pain is not "bad pain", per se, but more an overall real uterine tightening (thus contraction) around your entire front and lower back. They will be very sporadic and not very painful for several hours. This is when, in my opinion, you could drive.

After (on avg) about 6-8 hours of this non-invasive, interesting, exciting type of pain, the contractions should get stronger and more frequent, and they will require more of your attention. This is a good time to start timing them and writing it down. At this stage, during each tightening you will need to stop what you are doing, maybe close your eyes and breathe slowly until it passes. So I'd say you can't drive at that point! That's when I'd call the Dr and get a hospital arrival time goal (she'll tell you when you should come in based on how frequent and regular the contractions are).

I'd say by the time you're heading to the hospital, you will not be able to talk during the surges because they will require all your concentration (in a good way).
And later on, labor gets faster and more intense, but the pain is not so much classic pain as a major muscular contraction that is helping you to meet the all important goal of delivering your beautiful baby!

As I've said before, I think mental preparation is the SINGLE most important part of getting ready for the big day. If you haven't already done so, I highly recommend reading a book like Hypnobirthing or Birthing from within. They go a long way in preparing your mind for what's ahead, and for informing you in detail of the stages of labor and what to expect!
Please know I'm not a health professional, just a woman who has given birth twice and had two WONDERFUL experiences. It is truly a blessed event.

Good luck and I hope this helps!

Lisa
mom of Alyssa 7/15/03
and Cole 6/5/05

 
Lisa really said it well, though I will tell you about mine too...

First of all "Birthing From Within" was a real lifesaver!!! It gave me such peace of mind before my first child. It really helped calm me and quell some fears I had!

I only had about an 8 hour labor my first two children...the first 5 hours or so were not all that intense or painful, though they were very uncomfortable and nerve-wracking. The last few hours were pretty intense, though tolerable..

I would say you could certainly drive the first couple hours...but you'll probably be very nervous and excited, so head home earlier than you'd think.

Just go into it with the mind-set that it will hurt, though it's a good, helpful hurt that helps bring a wonderful miracle into the world...each contraction is different, just take them as they come!
 
Early labor is not always intense, and thus you might not know that you are in labor. By the time you realize something is different, it might not be a good idea to drive. If this is your first baby, you don't know what kind of labors you will have. Not to scare you or anything, but some women go much faster than 18 hours. Also, you have no idea whether or not you are an "early" or "late" or "on time" type of mom:).

You are probably okay for now especially if you are not dialated and are not showing any signs of labor, but I'd talk to your ob about your husband's concerns and follow his/her advice. Also, some insurance companies don't let you travel a certain distance from home during the last few weeks--you might want to check that too.

Anyway--I hope I am not sounding too stern. I am just an "err on the side of caution" type person.:)

I think that labor really starts to hurt when you are at a 6 or 7 and becomes unbearably painful during transition 8-10. Pushing was a huge relief. I get epidurals now, but delivered the first 2 naturally. It was the most painful experience of my life. But again every woman is different.

anyway sorry to ramble
take care--you are sooo close--hurray!
Maggie:)
 
You are not starting your maternity leave before your due date??? I pushed it and didn't leave my job until 2 weeks prior and I gave birth 5 days early so I'm glad I stopped working when I did! You will have time to get home if you go into labor at work though. First babies don't usually come that fast...then again, they don't usually come EARLY either! lol

My labor was a relatively short and easy one for a first child. From first signs of labor to Joey being born, it was about 12 hours.

When the labor first came on it was actually pretty fierce. Before I decided to call the dr (cause I wasn't sure what the pain was...it wasn't "acting" like labor pains at first IMO) I was on the couch in A LOT of pain BUT at some point soon after that the pain eased up and it just felt like bad menstrual cramps. I think I started out super swift and then slowed down a bit. That can happen!...Much less intense than how it started! I was having these kinds of labor pains for MOST of my labor...I only dealt with the super intense labor pains for the last 2-3 hours of labor.

Everyone's labor is different though. No one can tell you how it will happen for you! So many women are home for HOURS when labor first starts...my contractions were 5 minutes apart basically from the moment they started so I was told to come to the hospital when I called the doc. I had time to shower and all but I was not told to hang out at home any longer....so you see-ya just don't know! LOL

Best of Luck!
 
Thanks everyone for all the info. I'm a grad student and thus have a lot of flexibility about when I need to be at school and when I can work at home. So I can skip some days I normally would have gone in. For the other days, DH will drive in with me (he too is fortunate enough to have flexibility about when he's in his office and when he works at home). Today is the last day I'll have to drive by myself, and I have a girlfriend there on call just in case I need someone to drive me back home. I guess the bottom line is that it happens differently for everyone, and you just can't know if you'll be the one who has lots of warning or the one who gets hit hard fast.
 
Everyone's labor is different, but I will tell you my story. My prelabor was worse than actual labor. I got up for work on a Tuesday and my plug came out. Immediately after that I started getting contractions that progressively got worse. Please remember that does not happen to everyone. I just happened to have had a doctor appointment that day and had to have my husband come home and drive me. When I got to the doctor, I was not dialated at all and he told me that this could go on for another week. It was awful and really painful for me. They would come very regular for almost an hour and then they'd get sporadic. Finally, after three days of this, I told my husband we needed to go in and lie and tell them they were 5 minutes apart for an hour so I could see if I was progressing at all. I was still at zero. They gave me morphine and sent me home. Within two hours I was back and I was at four. After that, I had an epidural and got the best night of sleep that I've had in a long time. They just came in every hour and checked me to see how I was progressing. Anyway, my whole point is, come up with an option of how you can get home if your contractions are bad. Mine were. My husband just left work and I'm sure most works are accomadating for something like this. It's not worth it to drive and endanger yourself and your baby if it does get bad. But everyone here gave you good advice. No job is worth going to if it's going to be too hard to get home. I called in sick when those contractions started and am so glad I did.
 
I did not find that early labor hurt nor did it feel different that BH contractions. I actually contracted for a full week before my water broke last Sunday. The only difference was they were a little stronger and came more often. I progressed from a 2 to a 4 over five days but then it took another 9 hours to get to 5 once my water broke.

But even with the contractions all week, I still ran errands and stuff. I am not going back to work and am glad that I quit a week early, especially since he came two weeks early. The contractions would not have been fun at work just since I was timing them and I am certainly glad I was home when my water broke! That was a mess.

So I just agree that you should be prepared for anything and have plenty of options available. Every labor is totally different.

Best of luck!
 

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