How far to take competition with your spouse

D

danzakcpa

Cathlete
Here is a good question for all of you readers out there. Do you have friendly competitions with your significant other and if so, how competitive do you get? For instance, my husband and myself compete for fun doing 4 different activities: Tennis, one-on-one soccer, long-distance running and submission style wrestling, yes, wrestling! We are both very athletic, but I usually wind up crushing him in all of the activities that we do, it has taken a toll on him and he is very distraught, I was thinking about letting him win at some of the activities, but I get more enjoyment from really trying to crush him in whatever activity we do. Anyone else have similar situations?

Robin
 
LOL, Robin! DH and I wrestle, too! However, when I'm about to lose, I start fighting dirty. }( }(

DH is a very good wrestler.
 
That is great, a lot of people find it weird that we wrestle, but it is a great way to get exercise and lose calories. I have gotten quite good at wrestling over the years!

Robin
 
DH and I went thru a phase where we were one-upping each other, i.e. he went skydiving, then I had to. I went shark diving, then he had to etc. Let's just say my mother was horrified when she'd hear of this stuff! Now that we're older (and smarter :p) we've stopped doing those crazy things.
 
My SO and I are very competitive. However, there's no way I could beat him at anything physical unless it involved endurance cardio (e.g. running). He is incredibly strong and we've sparred a few times but there's no way I can ever get the upper hand. I'm not small, but he can pick me up and throw me around like I weigh nothing.
 
Hi there- this reminds me of the other day when i did all of those push ups guy style on gym styles and later I told my husband about it and asked if he could do it and he got halfway thru and then collapsed in a heap-I'm trying to egg him on so he'll start working out with me-he sits at a desk all day-anyways I was proud of myself--LOL--deb
 
DH and I are competitive "types" but not against each other (we make one heck of a team though!). For one, he is 8 inches taller than I am and he weighs 75 pounds more than me. . . he has a very muscular athletic build to boot. I have yet to find anyone that can out-run me or out-bike me. But head to head, one on one against my DH in any kind of physical strength contest - for me to win would be ludicrous. Frankly, I wouldn't want it any other way. But that's me!:)
 
I wanted to respond, but wasn't quite sure what I wanted to say. So, I asked my DD13 her opinion - wanted to know what the younger generation would say. I liked her response. Don't throw a competition as your DH will know and feel worse. But, do find something that he excels at on his own and do that. Although she did make a point that I thought as well - if you enjoy crushing him so much, then maybe there's something wrong. You should want to bring each other up, not drive each other down.
 
I enjoy playing tennis with my husband even though I rarely win. It is often a close game though. A few years back I would occassionally beat him, and then he would say it was because he was using his left hand instead of his right to give me an advantage.(I was so focused I hadn't noticed). I asked him to stop it because I would go from being pleased with myself, to suddenly disappointed. I'd rather lose than not really win.

Wrestling...I have no chance.

Scrabble...love kicking his butt!}(

bhappy
 
I have to agree with Christine and her daughter. Years ago and early on in my marriage, I used to feel really 'outdone' by my husband - partially because my husband is competitive in almost everything - and it really hurt my self-esteem. It became very painful. He had to learn to ease up a little and I had to learn that he's not better than me at EVERYTHING! Now, many (many!) years later, we're just happy as clams and passionate about each other. Happy, satisfying relationships take a lot of work.

Be careful, be sensitive, be loving, be self-less - that's my little piece of advice...

Best,
Liz
 
I don't understand what one gets out of competing with one's SO? DH and I tend to support one another in whatever we do. I don't remember ever competing or even wanting to compete :) Maybe we're missing out :)
 
>I don't understand what one gets out of competing with one's
>SO? DH and I tend to support one another in whatever we do. I
>don't remember ever competing or even wanting to compete :)
>Maybe we're missing out :)

Candi, I thought the same thing, that's why I didn't (and shouldn't) post. My dh and I play tennis and we both stink at it. If we didn't encouage each other it wouldnt be any fun.
 
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