How do I motivate DH to lose weight?

Funny, about 4 years ago my DH was having knee troubles. His physical therapist gave him a series of weight exercises and he came home and did them. One day he realized that Cathe's PS legs workout had many of the same exercises in it. He took the workout to his PT and had him review it, the PT was VERY impressed with the workout and gave the o.k. to DH to continue with it.

DH can run now, could barley walk for any length of time.

We gifted the vhs P.S. series to the PT and he uses it to this day!
 
Another vote for "you can't motivate him to lose weight if he isn't motivated himself." I dont believe that you can do that with anyone b/c they won't do it until they are ready. But you can do a few things that will certainly help.

1. Buy and Cook (I am making the assumption that you do these things in your house - if not, start...!) more healthy meals. Pay attention to drinks, foods, condiments, etc. and slowly get all the crap out of the house. A lot of women that I know use weight watchers recipes. Their husbands/SO's love them and they are healthy options.

2. Ask him to take a walk or bike ride with you on the weekends or after work. You can wind down after a tough day/week together and catch up. If you have kids, take them along and make it a family event.

3. Ask him to work out w/you. Have you asked? you Never know until you ask. :) If he says no, keep asking. BF still has never worked out with me, but he likes to hang around and offer form pointers, etc. and I notice that it motivates him to work out himself.

4. Talk with him about buying gym equipment, vids, etc. BF recently bought an everlast punching bag and he gets some work in on that every couple of days when he doesn't hit the gym. If nothing else, it is a good stress reliever ;)

5. Rather than WITHOLD when he doesn't, REWARD him when he does work out. Positive reinforcement!

:)
Christine
 
Does he enjoy any type of sports? My husband doesn't work out right now (he used to), but he's a sports nut. We joined a co-ed recreational softball team a few years ago and that really helped us enjoy fitness together. Lots of places have co-ed volleyball teams too. I know these aren't the same as working out daily, but they are a start and sometimes the peer pressure from being around others who are active and on teams really motivates you. Also, do you have children? My kids (10 and 5) are on every sports team coming down the pike, and youth sports ALWAYS need coaches. My husband helps with coaching and again, that peer pressure of being around other coaching dads really motivates him.
 
Oh, by the way, my DH is also about 50 lbs. overweight and is also a computer geek, and he LOVES cycling, but only outdoors. So he usually loses about 20 lbs. in the spring and summer and then gains most of it back again in the winter. I've tried to get him to cycle indoors on Lifecycle machines at the gym, etc., but he finds it too boring.

Anyway, long story short, you might want to try cycling with him. My DH LOVES when I go cycling with him and it really motivates him. Maybe yours won't mind cycling indoors in the winter?

Good luck!
 
I agree with everyone else here in that you can't motivate/encourage/inspire someone else to loose weight until they decide for themselves to do it. I've tried (and tried and tried) and no matter how thoughtful, cheerful, encouraging I am about it, it's all interpreted as nagging from the other side.

I'm with Nancy: "This was a very hard lesson for me to learn, because I'm so scared of losing my DH."

Being a fairly obsessive person anyway, I'm neurotic about this!!! My husband is pretty active doing the things he likes (a lot of walking/hunting) but he is still about 50 pounds overweight, has genetic high chloresteral, and had a very bad and damaging heart attack at age 42! That was 8 years ago. Our kids were 1 and 3 when he had his heart attack. I've tried gentle and not so gentle encouragement (not so gentle as in threatening a divorce). I've tried everything since I am neurotic about becoming a young widow with young children! I've been through several depression meds over this. I'm trying very hard now to focus on the good things, rather than nagging down a good relationship.
 
Ducky,
I feel for you. Did he have any life insurance before the heart attack? I realize it may be difficult for him to get it now, but it may be worth paying the price for some simple term insurance.

Have you tried influencing subtle changes in his diet? I got my DH used to the idea that a huge salad can be dinner, but it took many years. I find I can make improvements in his diet slowly and gradually, mostly by example (but NEVER by nagging. Nagging always backfires.)

Good luck!
 
Thanks Nancy. We have plenty of life insurance through work. He has done a good job of being sure we would be financially taken care of. I would be a rich widow anyway!

His diet is pretty good. He still eats a lot of meat and starch, (short on veggies) but the meat is lean and the starch is whole grain or potatoes. We eat very low fat and have for a long time. My example is (LOL) a little *over the top* for him. He just shakes his head at the stuff he sees me eat. He is used to it now though. He used to be surprised to see me put things like brewers yeast and cayenne pepper on my popcorn, now he just expects it. I don't eat popcorn anymore, now I snack on things like sprouted wheatberries (lol) but I have not been able to give up my severe sweet tooth. His problem with food is going all day without eating anything, then catching up later. That is probably the one biggest reason he keeps his weight on.

His other problem is REGULAR exercise. My husband is the king of the weekend warrior! I guess some is better than none because the regular part is just not going to happen.
 
Ducky,
I hear you. My DH is the same way. Skips breakfast and doesn't eat lunch until late, then noshes the rest of the day on sugary junk. Sigh.

But you know, working out on weekends really IS better than nothing. Does he work out every weekend? That doesn't sound so bad compared to the average American.

BTW, I looked at your pics and you look great! Lovely family! I don't know why your DH would want to risk not being around to see them grow up and you can tell him I said so. }( }(
 
Thanks Nancy!!

I swear my DH eats less calories a day than I do... but he eats them all wrong. Major starvation mode all day. I don't know how he does it. I need food often or I just bonk and need to lay down.

I wouldn't say that DH actually works out on weekends. He either works or plays hard. Hard work would be cutting firewood all day or shovelling 3 feet of snow, or playing would be hunting all day. And no, he doesn't do these things every weekend. Although now that we have a dog I tell him to take the dog out for exercise and that gets him out and goes over much better than telling him to get out and exercise. I end up going out with him a lot just to get him out and then I find I had a good time too. Like you going out cycling, aren't you glad you went when you do? We used to do (workout) things like long bike rides or long xcountry skis but life after kids made us have to do most our things one at a time.

"I don't know why your DH would want to risk not being around to see them grow up and you can tell him I said so." LOL I'll tell him. I tell him that a lot! Thanks for your posts.
 
Looks like a lot of us are in the same boat. Oddly enough, when I first met the guy I'm dating, I immediately thought "no way, not my type at all"... mainly because he was overweight. But the more I got to know him, the more I liked him. He is the kindest, most caring guy I've ever met and now we're both crazy about each other.

I really struggled with the weight issue for several reasons. I've always been more physically attracted to fit or even thin guys. I'd like to be with someone who would share my passion for fitness and eating healthy. And he's already told me there's a history of heart disease and diabetes in his family. In fact, his father is diabetic and has recently lost his eyesight. What more wake up call does someone need?

Ultimately, I had to ask myself if I wanted to pursue this relationship knowing that he may never lose the weight and get healthy. I decided that I love who he is on the inside so much, I'm willing. He wants to get in shape and knows I'd love it. Guess all I can do at this point is cook healthy meals, find active things we can do together and keep my fingers crossed.
 
Angela!! Welcome back! Where have you been???
How are you doing? I hope all is well with you.

Yup, I guess a lot of us are in the same boat. At least we have each other to commiserate with. :)
 
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