How do I cope??

[AmandaV]

I was wondering if anyone else experiences slight menstural-type cramps often, as I do. I really have not read much about this being a symptom of early pregnancy. Does anyone else "feel" as though they're going to get their period? It's pretty much been this way since I've concieved, which was about 7 weeks ago. They're not constant and they're not severe, but the feeling is there - a dull achiness.

I'm also worried about how severe emotional stress will have an impact on my pregnancy. I lost my very best friend in the world a few days ago - she had recently received a kidney transplant that didn't work, so the doctors had decided to remove it - it was supposed to be a simple procedure - but once she was in recovery her pressure dropped, she said she felt dizzy, and lost conciousness, never to wake again - turns out an artery had ruptured.

I am so incredibly distraught over this and I'm not sure how to cope. I have these waves of sadness that hit me anywhere, anytime. I just can't stop crying. I spoke to this girl every day for hours at a time. I keep waiting for that phone to ring and for it to be her.

I know she wouldn't want me to stress out at this point. She was so excited that I'm going to have a baby. Her kids are 7 and 3 and she kept saying she couldn't wait for me to have one so that she could hold and take care of a little baby again.

Does anyone know what I should do to try and get through this? Is this stress a danger to my pregnancy? I'm going to go and see my regular doctor on Monday, if he'll see me. My OB can't see me until 9/21.

I just don't know what to do.

AmandaV

 

[lwseymour]

I am so terribly sorry for your recent loss of such a close friend. I hope that it comforts you to know that we, here on the forum, care about you and hope you are feeling better soon.

Please know we are all thinking about you at this sad time. I have known of other people that had a tragedy like this happen while they were expecting a baby and they went on to have very healthy babies. Take one day at a time and know that your friend would want you to take good care of yourself and your baby.

Lisa

 

[SheWolf]

I,too, am very sorry to hear about your lost. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time.

But I was hoping to help set your mind at ease somewhat regarding the cramps. I also experienced those menstrual like cramps all during my first trimester and was constantly afraid that at any moment I was going to get my period. Now, I had a difficult time conceiving (my cycle was completely messed up) and I ended up having fertility treatments in order to get pregnant, which took a year. So needless to say those cramps really had me worried, but both my fertility doctor and my ob assured me that they were normal and nothing to worry about as long as they are not accompanied by bleeding. And sure enough, they were right, nothing happened and I am now 4 weeks away from having my first.

Hope this helps relieve your worry, so that you can cope with everything a little easier.

Linda

 

[ebh87]

Hi Amanda,
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your close friend. What a terrible tragedy.
I felt crampy a lot during my pregnancies and drove my poor doctors crazy with constant calls and visits (another former infertility patient who went through years of treatments to get pregnant). The only explanation I got for that feeling was that my uterus was growing and stretching, but I don't know how much that would apply in the first trimester.
Even though you won't see your OB for a while, could you call and just explain how you are feeling physically and emotionally to get his/her opinion?
Please take care of yourself. Again, I am so sorry about what happened to your friend.
Erica

 

[candori]

My deepest sympathies..

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It must be difficult to go through such a hard time and worry about your pregnancy on top of it. I can only imagine how overwhelmed you are.

Take it day by day and know that you have lots of support. This baby is a blessing and your friend is up there watching out for you. Kinda corny, I know, but it might help to ease the pain a little.

I had dull cramping in my first trimester and worried all the time. My doctor said it's completely normal. So try hard not to worry, get as much rest as you can and focus on all of the positive things in life...like the beautiful life inside you.

I know it sounds trivial, but time does heal. You are going to be fine and always remember we are here to help!!!

Keep us posted! Please.

 

[jenniferholmes]

I just lost my best friend too..

Hi Amanda,

I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my best friend this past June. She found out she had Lukemia when she was 19 weeks pregnant with her third child. When she told me she was diagnosed with this, it honestly felt like a dream. I was in denial about how serious this was, because I just knew she would get over this, just like a person gets over a cold. She did make it through the pregnancy and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and was actually in remission after she gave birth. Then BAM it came back fast and furious and she lost the battle, and went home to Jesus. I still cry alot and not a single day goes by that I don't think about her. I have even picked up the phone to call her. I used to spend hours talking to her too. It is hard, because she knew everything about me and understood me and know she is gone. I think the hardest part of it is knowing her kids, they are 9, 4, and 1year, will not get to see what a wonderful mom, wife and friend she truly was. It has taught me to appreciate my time with my own three children and husband, and not get caught up in material things of this world. What gets me through is my faith is Jesus Christ..you know I mourn here on earth because I miss her, but I also rejoice at the same time because she does not have to worry about the cares and troubles of this world any longer...I will see her again someday, but until then I will keep her memory in my heart.

Jennifer

 

[Sheila]

Hi Amanda,

I want to welcome you to the forum and also tell you how sorry I am about your friend. We will be here for you throughout your pregnancy for support, but if you need it one on one do not be afraid to admit that you are hurting and need some professional help. Pregnancy is a very emotional time anyway and you have a lot of "extra stuff" on your emotional plate right now to deal with.

I have had clients who complained of being crampy or achey during their first trimester and have gone on to have perfectly normal pregnancies. One bit of advice though.... never be afraid to address any concerns with your caregiver. You know your body best of all.

Just remember Amanda, we are here for you.

Sheila Watkins

 

[Cathe Friedrich]

Oh Amanda, my heart goes way out to you! I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We are here for you if you need us. I know you are hurting so badly and no words can really take that pain away right now. But I have always found time and positive reflection to be the biggest healer. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please take care!

 

[DebbieH]

Hi Amanda!

I sit here in tears at the loss of your friend. How tragic! Just know that there are many of us here to support and offer encouragement at any time. I know of loss too as I lost both of my parents at a young age. It is hard knowing that they are not here to enjoy my kids and now my new granddaughter. Everyone here has given you excellent advice. Please go for help if you are still struggling. I will also keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Keep us posted and Good Luck with your pregnancy. We are thinking of you!

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH http://www.plaudersmilies.de/wavey.gif If You Get The Choice To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!!