Hiring Maids

[faie]

Hello all,

First of all, let me just say that I am from Malaysia, and I am a full time working mother of a one year old. It seems here most middle class working families hire maids (usually foreign labor) to live with them to help with housework and babysit the children when they are at work. I personally do not have one, nor do I wish to have one. I believe taking care of my son and doing all the housework is my responsibility as a mother and wife.

I am curious to know whether hiring maids are the norm in the United States or other countries as well. I spent my college years at Nashville, and during those four years I have never seen an American family with a maid in tow. So I just want to know whether hired help is only a phenomenon here in my country. I am also curious to know how working mothers in other countries cope with all the housework and the children, and how they manage to find time for themselves and their DHs.

 

[cjbate]

I don't think it is the norm. I do know here in Southern CA there are some working moms who have "nannies"....the wealthiest families or when the working mom is an executive and has the income to pay for an expensive nanny over daycare. The nannies' job is primarily as I understand it to take care of the children. The ones I have heard of don't do much housework. They do often live "in" and are usually young women, college age...I have met a few from other countries here to be nannies...South American or Irish in these cases. I do know of one nanny that is shared between two families, and she does not live in.

A few mothers I know here with the money to spare, either working mom or not, have someone (a service) come in to clean on an ongoing basis. I have someone come in once a month to clean the bathrooms etc. It helps as I have 3 kids 6 and under.

I have found a website helpful for keeping up with the housework and organization etc.... it is www.flylady.net It has helped me a lot!

Best wishes,
Jen

 

[Carol_is_fit]

I know of absolutely no one in my "real life" who might be considered "middle class" and who have the resources to hire live-in help. I'm not saying they don't exist, just that I've never known any personally. In fact, in my almost 47 years of existence, I only know of one person who had/has live-in help, and her income is most definitely not "middle class".

How do I manage my time, housework, kids, DH, working out, etc. while being a working mom? I don't know. I just do. There isn't much of a choice for us. It's all I've ever known, so you just adapt and find ways to do it. I guess if I had to break down my day I could, but I've never really thought about it. It's just part of your life and you do it.

This question should give you some interesting responses. I'll be curious to see them.

Carol

 

[Renee McFar]

Interesting question. No maid here with me. Sometimes I wish there was. Working and managing a family is hard work. The solution for me is to only work part time. That way I am home most days for the children. And lucky/blessed for me, the days I work the great-grandmothers take turns watching the kids. So we don't depend on a maid, only my family helps out. Thank the Lord for them!! The part you wrote about taking care of your son and doing all the housework. I agree with that only because I am lucky enough to work part time. Most of my friends who work full time would never dream of doing all the housework, etc.. . We live on a farm and my husband has a job where he works long hours. That's why I am more than happy to take care of the house and kids. As long as he is willing and able to work hard, I will too. Unless the day comes where he is unable to to work so hard.Then I would have to fill his shoes also. Don't we women have alot to think about?!

 

[nancy324]

I don't know many people with live-ins. Most of the people I know hire someone to do the house cleaning, but that person only comes in one day per week or once every two weeks and only stays for a few hours. Many of the folks in my neighborhood with small children have nannies, but they're not live-ins.

Here, a person who cleans house is a maid or a housekeeper, but the person who takes care of the kids is usually called a nanny.

 

[CandiK]

Like Carol said, working full time and then taking care of a family is something I just did. Didn't really have the luxury of even considering a maid service at the time.

Now that I do have the financial resources, I find myself thinking about it but have not actually done it. I have several friends who hire a maid service to come in once a week or once every other week to clean. If I start feeling a little overwhelmed, I ask DH to help as he's always willing to pitch in (after all, it's his home too).
There's just something about taking care of our own home that makes it ours. I think that's why I hesitate to hire someone.

 

[maxwells]

I don't know anyone who has live-in help.

I have a housekeeper that comes once every 2 weeks. I imagine she is only there for a few hours. I'm not sure since I am at work the whole time. She cleans for a lot of my neighbors (which is how I ended up hiring her). It is the best money I've ever spent. I was hesitant at first for a number of reasons: 1. It feels kind-of strange to have someone else cleaning your home, 2. Did I really need to spend the money?, 3. Can I trust this person? I got over all of that the day I came home from work to a perfectly clean house! It saves me and my SO from arguing over who does more of the cleaning. So that is worth the money right there! Also, it would take me a lot longer to do it. When it comes to deciding whether I should do something myself or whether I should hire someone I use the following logic:
A: How many hours would it take me to do the job?
B: How much do I get paid per hour?
If A*B is more than what someone else would charge me -- then I pay someone else to do it.

I think a lot of people in the DFW area use cleaning services on occasion.

Shonie

 

[weighttrain]

Hi

I am a working parent. For the first few years of our childs' life I had live-in help, and now I have a nanny/college student that brings her to school, picks her up, helps with homework, gives her a snack, takes her to her activity, bath, etc. I do all of the laundry, cleaning, shopping, etc.

I am considering cutting back at work and just working while she is at school because my nanny is going to nursing school next year and won't be available to help me. I have enjoyed having the help for a few years but I am also looking forward to working less hours.

I know a lot of families in Southern California that have help with their kids. I don't have the luxury of a parent or family member available to help me so I have had to be very resourceful. I also know a family that has 4 children and it is impossible for the Mom to be in 4 different places at once after school, that family has 2 nannies/au pairs to help out.

 

[Roses]

Hi Faie,

When I had my second daughter and we moved into a larger home, I hired my sister to come every other Friday and clean my home. Best move I've ever made. I just want to spend time with my kids and not run around doing the necessity cleaning every weekend. She doesn't do laundry unless I ask her to, but with only four in my family, I'm able to take care of this pretty easily.

This Friday is her day and there's nothing like getting home for the weekend and the house is swept, dusted, rugs shook, mirrors/patio windows sparkling, and bathrooms clean. I JUST LOVE IT!!

Thursday nights the family spends about 15 minutes running around making sure everything is put up and in its place to make it easier for her to get the cleaning done. Neat little trick I devised so I don't have to spend an hour by myself called the "Aunt Joyce will be here tomorrow and everything has to be up ritual" !

I know of one SAHM who has three kids under 10 who has a house-cleaner every week and whom does all the laundry. She also has a standing appointment every other week to get her vehicle cleaned. Lucky Woman!! I know of about three or four other working moms who have a cleaner either every week or every other week. I don't know of anyone who has a nanny. Too many of us have relatives nearby who help us with the kids when needed. I guess I'm lucky that my mom and MIL watch my 3 year old 3 days a week and then she goes to an at home day care only 2 days a week.

Sorry so long...Sami

 

[fit_fairy]

I have someone who comes and does basic cleaning every two weeks. Would love to have her more frequently, but just not feesible.

Catherine

 

[t_jania]

I don't know of anyone with a live-in maid or nanny. However, when I was waiting tables to put myself through college, a rich family I waited on asked me to be their nanny as their 3 year old really took to me. I declined. I thought it would not have been a nice job to have.

 

[macska]

I know a few families that have live-in helps. In most of these families the mother loves/needs her high paying job, so they can afford to pay somebody to do all the chores around the house and take care of the kids. Question of priority....

I do have a cleaning lady once a week, and she is the best thing that happened to me. I'm thankful for her hard work and grateful that I can afford to pay her. Mari

 

[melrose]

I have a lady who comes in for 3 or 4 hours every other week - can't afford more than that. I work full-time (sometimes overtime), my husband works two jobs, and if I didn't have her help, I would have to spend lots of time cleaning, and would only be able to work out half as much as I do - I know this to be a fact because I just started having household help last year (at age 51) and now work out 5 or 6 days a week instead of 2-4.

 

[ots]

I have lived in a few countries (Asia & South America) and everyone had live in maids, as did we. It was affordable.

When I lived in Brazil, a young man asked why Americans did not have maids when our country was so rich. I said that because our country is so rich, most people can't afford to hire maids. Like others, I have someone come in once every two weeks. That's $65. If I did that every day, it would be $910! And that's assuming that the maid only did one house each day...which she doesn't. I would be working just to pay for a maid.

Labor is expensive here. Machines are inexpensive by comparison.

In Brazil, no one, and I mean no one, had washing machines, dryers, or dishwashers (the machine...they had dishwashers, the people).

As another example, when I was in China at a road construction site, I saw that much of the labor that we Americans would do with heavy equipment was being done by human labor. It was cheaper than a piece of heavy equipment. Not here!

 

[faie]

I guess maids are abundant here due to the cheap foreign labor. Maids come from impoverished Asian countries and costs like RM400 per month (approx US$105).

There were times when I have thought about the possibility of hiring a live-in maid. But, blame it on my years I spent at the States ... I have seen the struggles the average working mom go through to raise their children. Now I think for myself: If my counterparts in the United States can manage their families without a live in, then why can't I??

Thank you very much for your responses . It's motivating for me to keep on going, knowing there are many others who struggle just like me.