Help with sister/divorce

[robyn6002]

Totally disagree with many of you on the daughter. It sounds like the people are all around having a lot of issues and if your sister can't figure things out how about the daughter.

Teenagers get a very bad rap which often isn't justifiable.

I'm most concerned about the daughter and hope she can get some help. Agree for the daughter she probably fears she may never see father but assumes mother will be ther.

I just hope the daughter is considered with all this. I'm a single mom and know even under the best of circumstances how hard it is on the kids.

It's tough on everyone but don't just fault the daughter Alone.

 

[rjroubi]

"Cheating" is generally an indication that there is something wrong in the marriage. It is a only a symptom that their is something deeper wrong in a bond between a couple. It is not "only" one person's fault or that totally cut and dry.... nor does it have to be the end of that marriage. (Statistics say 60% of all married men have cheated and 40% of women.) Each person should take a look at themselves and see what they could have done better and decide if the marriage is worth saving. Many times they learn a new appreciation for one and other.

I would never pre-judge your sister or her marriage. She was in love with this man for 17 years and still may be in love with him. They certainly could use a really good counselor. I know I am in the minority but as a sister, I would be her friend and support her in "any" decision she makes . She would love and appreciate you more for your neutrality.

JMHO,
Robin

 

[Miss Lee]

Yes, Robin. I think all too often people feel a need to dispense advice. I know I do. In the case of my sister, I felt like she was a train wreck and unable to make good decisions. Well, all I did was come very close to alienating myself from her. I had to step back and recognize my own arrogance in thinking that I somehow had all the answers. This truly is something better left to the professionals. I'm now the shoulder to lean on and that's a far better position to be in. Now I don't have to worry about steering my sister in the wrong direction. Boy, what a heavy burden that would be!

Michele

 

[candi]

Robin,

I respectfully differ with your opinion on cheating being a symptom of something wrong in the marriage. Haven't you heard of the men or women that have affair after affair? I know a guy at work here who defines himself by how many women he can rotate at one time. It has nothing to do with the relationship with his wife...it has to do with his ego. And yes, he is married. I believe he's on his third wife.

It doesn't have to be the end of a marriage but it would be the end of my marriage. Not only is the husband cheating but if he's cheating behind his wife's back and not using protection, he's putting his wife's health at risk.

IMHO, if you have to work that hard at saving a marriage, it's not worth saving. I've been there, done that and am so much better off with DH #2.

 

[rjroubi]

Candi,
I respect your opinion, but any marriage counselor will tell you that cheating is a symptom of something wrong in a marriage. I've been there and I am only repeating what I've been told.

I don't believe that guy at your work who believes he is a stud with his numerous affairs is your typical guy or gal who has an affair. We all know exceptions to the rules.

JMHO,
Robin

 

[candi]

Robin,

I have a Master's degree in Psychology and Counseling and I have to tell you, I've never heard such a thing. Your counselor must have been a male

 

[rjroubi]

Nope....both counselors were females. Goes to show you, anything with the brain is not a true science.

Robin:9