Help with nursing...long but please help

[mabdoo]

I just gave birth to my second daughter last week. I was unable to nurse our first one because she was 9 weeks premature and would not nurse. I pumped for 3 months and she received breast milk for about 5 months. I was absolutely exhausted by the time I would change her, feed her, and then pump. I am trying to nurse our second daughter because I felt so guilty that I wasn't very successful last time. She did ok in the hospital. By the time we got home she was jaundice and had to be on a bili-blanket and receive supplements. During those days I would nurse her for 5 minutes then give her the supplement. I should have pumped the first few days of supplementing but didn't and my milk supply dwindled. She is off the blanket now as of yesterday but now I have to nurse her and then supplement her and then pump to get my supply up. On top of that she is awake for hours during the night. I am exhausted and ready to give up. During the day she nurses for about 45 minutes every 2 hours or less. I know that nursing is better for her yet the rest of my family is beginning to suffer too even though DH is very supportive. Please help.

 

[melimcn]

OK this is just me, and maybe not the kind of response you're looking for. But if this were my situation, I think I'd just have her on formula at this point.

I know (and was one of) many babies that were only given formula, and I came out just fine. I think women put too much pressure on themselves to breastfeed, when it just doesn't always work. Is it better? Yes, that's the ideal. But you're not causing damage to her by not nursing her.

My plan is to try nursing. But if it doesn't take, it doens't take, and I'll have my little guy on formula. I'd rather have him with a full belly than in any other sort of situation.

Just wanted to give you another side. If you're dedicated to nursing, hopefully someone out here can offer some advice. But if it doesn't work, please don't get down on yourself!

 

[chefkate]

If you want nursing encouragement I'm your gal! They call me the Nipple Nazi! DD1 took *6 WEEKS* to latch on...then she never wanted to quit and refused to eat solid food until she was 15 months old! LOL! I recommend finding a good lactation consultant near you first of all. There should be one at the hospital you delivered at who should not charge you. I admire your ambitions. Despite what "they" say nursing is NOT natural, but rather it sometimes both mom AND baby need to learn how, as was the case with my first.

When you nurse offer breast milk for as long as she will take it. If she still seems hungry/irritable I would finish up with some formula. If you truly want to increase your milk supply, pump for a little while after she's done nursing (10-15 min. maybe). Your breasts will learn to put out more. They are an absolutely wonderful body part and will do exactly what you train them to do!

If you want to chat email me and we can chat some more. I would love to help you. My email address is [email protected].

 

[coradora]

It is unfortunate that many times women are made to feel as though nursing is going to be easy and natural because they get so distraught when it is NOT easy and natural. I nursed both of my girls and I was in tears the first time from pain and exhaustion. (I wasn't getting a proper latch and it felt like a rat was chewing on my nipples.)

Nursing is different for everyone - no two moms or babies are the same. With my first, the nursing was like yours - every two hours for 45 minutes. It seemed like that was ALL I was doing - I felt like I should just go around topless because I had my boobs out so much (and they hurt so much it just would have felt better )

I think the best thing you could do is get some help in person from a lactation consultant. If you look up the La Leche League I am sure that they would be very helpful. I was so fortunate to have WONDERFUL midwives for my second baby - they came by for the couple of days after my daughter was born and made sure that we were nursing properly - I got a perfect latch right away, and nursing was soooo much easier.

You are doing a great thing for your daughter, but like the previous poster said, if it is causing you too much stress don't EVER think you are a failure if you stop nursing. I do hope that you get the help you need and that you are able to find nursing a pleasant baby-mommy experience instead of a thing you dread.

Sorry I couldn't be more help!
Corrie

 

[mabdoo]

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I guess by the time I posted this I had already made my decision to give it up. The lactation consultant at the hospital was wonderful and called daily to check in and help out. The baby at least latched on properly she just took forever and never seemed satisfied. I have to try and not feel guilty. I was also a formula fed baby and turned out just fine. Thanks again.

 

[melanalyus]

I enjoyed nursing my three boys immensely. I feel so fortunate that I was able to provide milk for them, and the bonding was awesome.

You mentioned that you felt guilty for not being able to nurse your first one. Is that the only reason why you want to nurse this one so badly? Being able to nurse isn't what defines a good mommy. Your obvious concern and love for your wee-one is what makes you a great mom.

With that said, a lactation consultant would be an awesome resource for you right now. As would Le Leache (sp?) if there's a group in your area. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. I give you alot of credit for working so hard toward your goal.

~Melanie~

Jadon born 11/23/05
Justin born 1/17/04
Jory born 4/9/94

 

[Shopahollic]

Glad you made a decision. I believe erach mother needs to do what is best for her and her family. Don't feel guilty, I know mothers who didn't try! You tried and it didn't work for you. Doesn't make you a failure or a bad mother!

 

[jgoycoolea]

I had a similar experience with my first daughter who was colicky on on top of it. It took her 3 months to catch on to nursing, but she did and then refused a bottle. It was difficult. I was fortunate not to have an older child to take care of. I'm afraid there is no easy answer.