Help Setting Goals and steps to get there (long...sorry!)

[amy_b]

Okay, I know I am running the risk of sounding really dumb, but....I don't really feel like I know what I am doing with all my fitness work. I don't have other fit friends to talk with about goals, and no one I know is really into real fitness.
Here's where I am, maybe you can help. I'm 36 and have kids. I am 5'4" and weigh 131 lbs and wear a size 4 or 6 jeans. My body fat scale puts me between 26% and 23% body fat. I work out 50 or so minutes a day and I rarely skip.
I guess I've never stated my goals, but I still think of myself as "fat-ish" because I don't look as"cut" as I'd like and my basic bone structure is stocky. Obviously, that can't be helped. I've lost about 13 pounds over the last year from working out, but I've hit a plateau. I want to lose about (how many) more pounds? (How do you decide?) My concern is that all this working out isn't really getting me anywhere except TIRED!
SO...my basic questions are: How do you determine your ideal weight? Is a goal of better muscular definition something that you can improve for yourself by just working out or do you need to make major fatloss dieting a serious part of everything you eat? I do eat very healthy foods most of the time. Anyway, part of me thinks I should just work out for fun and health and be thankful for what I have and then another part of me thinks that maybe if I just tweak things a little more and have a more focused goal, I will be really pleased with the improvement.

 

[hippahips]

RE: Help Setting Goals and steps to get there (long...s...

Hi Amy, I find that it helps to be specific about your goals. For example, my weight goal is to reach 110 lbs. (I'm currently 2 lbs. short of that goal.) My ultimate strength goal is to bench press 50 lbs. I'd like to lose 2% more body fat but at the same time keep all the muscle I've got, which means to not lose any weight as I try to lose body fat.

Nancy just started a thread called Guilty Secret Website. Click on the link she gave. On that page is another link that would give you all these estimates (there are many) for your ideal weight. You know yourself best and can gauge for yourself where you ought to be.

As far as I know, muscular definition can be attained by stripping away the fat on top of the muscle. This is where eating comes in. Since you eat healthy, that shouldn't be a problem. And if all this working out is only making you tired, maybe it's time to take a break, revamp your routine, change the kinds of workouts you're doing. I'm with you -- working out should be fun and for your health, more than anything. Aesthetics is only the icing on the cake. Good luck.

Pinky

P.S. There was a thread here recently about fat scales/monitors. There were those who said that those can be inaccurate and that the best way to have your body fat measured is to be dunked in water. I don't know where to have that done around here. I should ask my doctor...

 

[clareMc]

Amy:

Hi there, nice to meet you!

I always think that exercising just to lose weight can be very soul destroying after a while. If a person doesn't see any loss for a period of time, they start to think that exercise is not worth it, they lose heart and give up.

Might it not better to focus on something more meaningful? Definitely, reading your message, it seems like you could do with a more focussed goal, to motivate you for the long haul.

Firstly, it sounds like you could do with a rest period. Take a week off to let your body really recover. You won't put on weight by doing this. There's another thread on here someone started called "weird phenomenon" which discusses how people are finding they are actually losing weight when taking a small break from constant exercise. So, relax on that front.

Start again when you feel ready and be open to something new. It sounds like your cardio routine may have gotten a touch humdrum for you and is no longer helping you reach your goals of feeling fitter and better about yourself. So, try something different. Make a goal out of it. Something specific. Not just "I want to lose X number of pounds, get really fit and make my life so much happier," but something concrete with a time frame attached to it.

For example, I have worked out on-of for 4 months now due to health problems and boredom. I have gotten bored with Cathe cardio, sorry, but there it is. So, I am setting myself a new goal to get me back in the fitness game. I am going back to running, which I used to do and love but gave up when I moved from London to the US. I am following a program that can get me from "couch potato to 3k in nine weeks." Cool. After that, I hope to build slowly up to running the regular 8, 10, 12 milers I used to do.

So I feel energized by the fact that I have a goal to move towards, a new challenge. I am not just going out there and going through the motions with a huge yawn. Your goal could be anything you want it to be. Don't forget that dance, swimming, playing team sports or pursuing any athletic endeavour is fitness. Sometimes we forget, after years of working out to tapes at home, that fitness doesn't have to be about following the moves of an instructor. It sounds like your regular routine has become a chore for you, something to tick off your to-do list. Take a break from it. Set yourself a goal of learning to scuba dive, learning to do archery, learning to swim butterfly stroke, whatever, and yes, a goal can be weight training orientated, like "be lifting 20 pound dumbells for biceps by Spring."

A really focussed goal makes your workout sessions so much more meaningful and productive.

So, ask yourself: what do you like to do? what are your passions? what piques your interest? Only you know the answers to those questions. If you find an activity that you care about, the weight loss will follow. For one thing because when you are happier, you don't comfort-feed so much, nor think about food so much, and with the cross-training, you can budge past this plateau.

Go on, challenge yourself.

Good luck!

Clare

Edited to add: no, you are not dumb at all!!! Just bored!

 

[susan57]

Hi Amy
I can give you any advice except I am with you. I have worked out for 15 years with no change. 5'6 140 pounds. I have even hired a trainer. No results but alot of money. I just ordered slim in 6 with beach body. (beachbody.com) I also joined weight watchers and lost 5 pounds through the holidays. Hurrah. You can do WW on line too. Sometimes it pays to be accountable. I a tired too. Ready to through in the towel. I have ran, jazzercised, the firm, pilates, kickboxed,walked,weights, trainer Who knows??? I just posted a similar question. I will let you know about slim in 6 people swear by it Good Luck and do take a break.

 

[IrishEyes]

Hi Amy!

Yes it sounds like you could use a week or so off! I've read various places that that's good to do. You say you rarely skip. You are giving your body rest days, aren't you? If not, I think you've found the reason why you're tired and you don't seem to be progressing!

Plateaus are part of this! The good side of it is, it means our bodies are stronger and can handle more, but the bad side is it means it doesn't have to do any more adjusting to perform what we're asking of it. When it happens, it's time to shake things up a bit. Look for different types of cardio, etc. Incorporate new weight exercises also. Keeps are mind from getting bored too!

As far as a weigh loss goal, I think that it's hard to pick a number randomly and decide you want to get down to it and then you when you get there, you are magically "done". First, I think many would pick a number too far down the scale and secondly, what when you reach the number? You are once again at the same point! But goals are important too. My general bodyfat loss goal was more along the lines "Lose as much fat as I can, with my weight in the high 110's - low 120's", with my more specific daily and weekly goals being constantly eating well and working out faithfully. I surprised myself, definitely; I never did think I'd actually get there. (Thighs still need work though!) Now what? Now my general goal is "Put on more muscles, get stronger" with more specific, daily and weekly goals of working out the upper and lower body every week, growing a little closer to being able to do more pushups, bench pressing first 80 then 100 lbs and on my way to pullups and unassisted tricep dips. It goes on for various body parts. I like working towards goals, though! I hope to surprise myself once again.

I think your ideal weight can't be pre-determined! You just kinda stumnble on it and say "Wow, I'm liking the way I look"! And yet we can ALWAYS improve. Perhaps you've seen some threads about how Cathe and crew has changed over the years! Eventually, hopefully exercise becomes something you enjoy the challenge and feeling of, rather than something tedious you perform dutifully to change your appearance. Or, perhaps it's more realistic to say that it becomes more of a combination of both.

You eat mostly healthy....are you eating small, frequent meals also? And are you eating enough? If you are and see no change, do you think expirementing with combinations of what you eat will help? By that I mean, increase or decrease fats, proteins, carbs intake. I do think some people respond better to some types of "diets" than others.

I am alos 5' 4", and have a fairly broad frame, by the way . Good luck to you!

 

[amy_b]

Hey, Girls-
Thanks so much for your thoughtful replies! I really appreciate it! I'm actually not tired "OF" working out, I'm doing cardio to the point of fatigue so that I'm tired "FROM" working out and I'm needing more sleep. I think my heart rate is possibly going too high during workouts and my cholesterol too low.

As for goals, I think I'm going to try to take off about 8 more pounds and see what I think at that point. I hope its do-able. That will put my goal for now at 123#. I was at 128 two weeks ago, so its just 5 less than that, right?

I think I need to do a few things to actually assess where I am, too. I'm going to keep a food journal and see exactly what all I am eating and since I used to be a track runner, I'm going to incorporate running and time my mile and 2 mile and see where I fall. I'm also going to chart the amount of weights I use during weight training and see if I am really at my maximum there. I bet I'm not since I don't get sore anymore.

Mainly, I do tend to get obsessive and harsh about my goals, so I need to keep it fun. My Dr. says I'm the picture of good health and if I get too critical of myself, its hard to stay motivated.
My PLAN: keep going, set some reasonable goals for improvement, do workouts that are fun, and don't get hung up on criticizing myself. I saw the guilty secrets and web site and you're right, 22% is not the worst place to be!