help I can't stop eating.

M

mediclover

Member
I was hoping that I could get some help/advice/encouragement/knock over the head from someone - I am having so much trouble controlling my diet. I have gained 20 lbs in the last two years because I can't seem to withstand my cravings for junk food/sugar. I lost 50 pounds 4 years ago with WW after having a baby (before that I was always 120#, ran and didn't have many issues with my weight). I maintained my wt loss for a year and a half then my grandma died, I started a new job, got pregnant again, miscarried, realized my husband was a raging alcoholic and now I just can't stop eating. I retried WW (I cannot stand counting point, calories, anything), Southbeach, cleaneating.
What I'm asking is....What do you guys do when you crave and feel out of control? How can I regain control? Even as I sit here typing, I just want to eat. My exercise is good - I love it, without it I would be insane. Please help.
 
My problem is stress eating at night. I know when I am stressed that is what I will do. Is there something else that releaves stress? Reading, a massage, hot bath, etc? For me, at night, when I have my biggest problem with out of control eating, I will brush my teeth and take a long hot bath. Then I am all relaxed for bed and after brushing your teeth nothing tastes good! I know that doesn't help much except between the hours of 8-10 pm, but it helps me through my "scary eating" time. Good luck, hang in there.
 
I truly believe that overeating issues have so much to do with your emotional well being. Sounds like there's a lot going on in your life right now, which probably means alot more stress. Lots of people turn to food when they're stressed... do you think you may be doing that, too? If so, maybe you should think about speaking with someone to work thorough the things that are stressing you out... and give you some ideas for alternative coping mechanisms. Just my two cents!
 
I can relate to your problem...I've also lost 50 pounds and managed to keep it off but have recently felt a bit out of control with food myself.

I think when you're a person that has struggled with food issues (meaning having gained weight due to eating poorly or too much; not necessarily an eating disorder), during times of stress I think you tend to fall back into those habits that got you into trouble in the first place. No one is perfect - For me, starting a new career where I know essentially nothing (from a position I had a sense of mastery in), working longer hours with a longer commute, trying to keep my home (meals,laundry,shopping,cleaning,bills...) running as normal, handling my elderly mother's business affairs, and also doing my best to keep in touch with friends and family all while trying to maintain what has been a successful clean eating and work out schedule...well, I think I finally blew a gasket!

You've gone through a lot in a short period of time...even when you think you're "handling" it all, eventually something's gotta' give!

One thing that REALLY helped me was the book "You On a Diet" by Mehmet Oz. Once you can get past his corny and too frequent puns it's full of good information. Basically, he explains chemically what's happening in your body that makes it so difficult to control your cravings. You still have the work to do to get yourself back on course, but it took my feeling of being weak (failure, out of control) out of the mix.

So for me, now that I've been completely in the food red zone for the past week or so, I'm just going to have to bull my way through the next few days and then I'll be back on track. You can do this too...just take baby steps - meaning clean up just one or two things a day, if that's all that you can manage right now. Then next week, add an extra workout...get some more endorphins pumping through your system. You see where I'm going with this, right?

Be kind to yourself...what would you tell a friend in your shoes? Be your own friend and go on a walk with yourself...have a great conversation with yourself (in your head, of course :D ) and think about how fabulous you are (seriously!). Make yourself laugh...I'm amazed at how much I have to say when I'm on my elliptical (my conversations tend towards an audience of teenagers with their whole lives ahead of them, encouraging them to make good choices)

Remember, each time you make a good decision for yourself, or avoid making a bad one, is a step in the right direction.

You'll be okay...:)
 
thank you Ginny, your reply made me cry.
I know that I'm an emotional/stress eater. And I know that I beat myself up alot for getting to this point. I think that I am a reasonably intelligent person, and I sure can preach diet/exercise to other people, but when it comes to myself...
I think another part of me is so worn out from all the drama, that I just don't want to put out more energy on my diet too-even tho I know it makes me feel better. But youre right - baby steps.
Thanks again.
Sandi
 
Mediclover, it sounds to me, from your recent life history (having a baby, enduring the tragedy of a miscarriage, the loss of your grandmother, acknowledging / confronting your husband's alcoholism, starting a new job) that you've had some profound life changes and all the stress that those changes, happy and sad, entail. And often, food can become a way of coping with stress as a way to fill the voids and blunt the pain of the geneses of the stresses.

I would suggest that you flip through the yellow pages or a local directory of counselors who are skilled at behavior modification, so that you can talk through the stresses and make slow, incremental changes in your eating habits so that food resumes its proper place in your life.

Do continue your exercise schedule, making sure you are getting in a good, balanced program of cardio, strength training and flexibility. But again, I do think a few sessions with a psychologist would do you well.

Take care -

A-Jock
 
Sandi, I can totally relate. I'm also an emotional eater. Over the years I've come to realize that people like you and me are the lucky ones. I'm not kidding! The only times in my life that I've been overweight are times when I was running away from something or when I was being too perfectionistic. Everyone's different, but for me what works is NOT dieting, NOT trying to be overly in control, NOT counting calories, and just generally not worrying about eating at all. This certainly doesn't work for everyone. It doesn't work for people who have bad eating habits in general and for people who are fighting a family history of obesity. But you never had a problem until you had a baby. That's a good thing in my book.

If any of this makes any sense, what I'm trying to say is that it sounds to me like you should just forget about food and focus on your emotions and what's going on with your life. Eat when you're hungry, and don't fret or feel guilty about overeating. Guilt just makes you overeat more. Be kind to yourself, cut yourself a lot of slack, and follow Ajock's excellent advice. This too shall pass.
 
I hear ya!

Sometimes it just seems like forever to get back on track. Just do it. You have to, otherwise it gets worse. Never give up!

Janie

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The idea is to die young as late as possible.
 
Try not keeping all the tempting, sweet, "bad-for-you" things around in the house. If they're close by and easily available, that sometimes turns into eating without even thinking.It doesn't prevent you from driving to the store for a pint of ice cream, but the extra time and effort that requires may be enough to at least click on the awareness light.
Another helpful thing - try planning what you DO want to eat! Pick healthy recipes (the Clean Eating book, Cooking Light or Eating Well magazine, etc), shop only for those ingredients. If you are preparing/eating lots of tasty, filling food, that may also keep you satisfied and happy so that you won't want the other stuff (as much anyway). The 5-6 small meal per day idea that lots of people promote may help too.
 
I have been there...and to a degree, I still am...I will always be an overeater, somewhat. It really is hard, especially when you have emotional reasons for overeating.
I could offer lots of different things for advice, but the others have given great advice. The best thing I can offer is to tell you, if you don't buy the food, you can't eat it. That is what helps me. Shop always on a full stomach, not an empty one. That is also helpful. So, when it is snack time, I am not eating ice cream, I am eating a yogurt or something. Hope this helps. Please take care of yourself.
Clarissa :)
 
Mediclover, another thing struck me:

Wayyyyy back in the day, when I had put in about two years of sobriety (am, thankfully, over 20 years sober now), I not only went to 12-step meetings for my own alcoholism but also to a few 12-step meetings for family/friends of alcoholics ("co-dependents", I guess is still the common name).

It totally struck me, in the meetings for co-dependents of substance abusers, the number of people who also had issues with emotional eating. It was almost a predictable blowback for being in close association with an alcoholic / addict. Thankfully, I lived then and now in the Twin Cities Minnesota area (Minneapolis side) where meetings of this kind were and are plentiful.

If the suggestions to seek outside counseling are ones you feel have merit for your situation, you might also want to seek group support for any spousal co-dependency issues - I strongly suspect that might be a big trigger for you.

I also agree that, when one has in the past had food as an emotional outlet, it is natural to revert back to these earlier patterns as a way of bringing back the comfort of the familiar, even if it puts a few pounds on you.

You're welcome to PM me if you wish.

A-Jock
 
Two things I've found to be helpful when I'm craving something I really shouldn't eat: First it's good to have something else (active, not passive) to do instead. Like if you want to go get something to eat, distract yourself by doing something else, like do a load of laundry, or wash the dishes, or even brush your teeth like someone else suggested... just DO something different. The second thing that helps me is if I really want say a cookie, I'll tell myself to wait 5 minutes. That's easy, you can wait 5 minutes for anything right? then after 5 minutes i'll wait another 5, then another and another. I find the longer I can make myself wait, the easier it is to just not do it at all. Also, I agree with just not keeping stuff in the house (or at work!) if it's not there, it's harder to eat!!

Good luck and I hope your personal/ emotional issues improve as well!
 
wow, thanks to everyone who replied. It's funny that just the simple act of writing down how your feeling, asking for help is very therapeutic.
Annette, I have often (briefly) thought that my anger at my husband might have more to do with my overeating then anything else. And I have briefly thought of going to Al-anon meetings (especially for my older teenage daughter who is also very angry). I think the time is now. I also live in the Twin Cities area, and I know there everywhere as I've tried to force my husband to go. So thanks again.
I woke up this morning and decided that I wasn't going to beat myself up today. I'm gonna workout and go from there -
Thanks again,
Sandi
 
Sandi -

One of my favorite things to do when I have the urge to eat but am not hungry - come to this board !:7

Not only will you be checking out all the "fun" things everyone posts, but there are nearly always posts that will give you the strength or motivation to get off the computer and either get in a good workout or go cook some healthy new recipes and have something available for those time when you really do need just a little something to tide you over til your next meal.

Honestly - I have sat here thinking - nevermind, I'm taking the day off, only to get up after half an hour (that is half an hour I wasn't in the kitchen inhaling everything in site !) and hit my Cathe DVD's or watch a movie while I hit the TM for a while.

Also was married to a substance abuser and know the feelings of being overwhelmed by stress - ITA with the others that some counseling may be a great idea - and the counseling for dependents of alcoholics would definitely be a good idea for you and your teens. Learn to love yourselves and stay strong is the first step.

Best of luck - keep us posted . . .
 
One more thought if you can stand to hear the sound of my typing . . .

I used to have a sweet tooth that defied description; DH called it a fang and he was right. I was also a cardio junkie, and really never paid much attention to strength training until Y2K (seriously).

However, I noticed over the years, as I started free-weight lifting and increasingly brought heavy weights into the mix, my craving for refined sweets (and beyond that refined sweets/fats, as in cookies, cakes, ice creams, etc.) has gone way down, and my craving for better, whole foods including lower-fatted proteins and fruits and vegetables has gone way up. I'm not saying that I don't have The Urge for sweets, as well as my beloved salty/snacky/chippy stuff which will be the last Sin Food to go, at all, but I am saying The Urge comes far less frequently and the quantities I want have gone down as well.

All of that to say - maybe it's time to up your weightloads on your weights and see how that works for you.

HTH - keep comin' back!

A-Jock
 
If you think your handling the stress well, then don't worry about the counseling. Eating during emotional times doesn't always mean you are substituting food for positive emotional reinforcement. Sometimes it just means your hungry.

The cravings might be related to some sort of nutritional deficiency.

Try taking some multivitamins with a good mix of minerals as well. You may need to take more then one pill to get it right. Maybe ask your doctor if you can get tested for deficiencies.

When you get hungry for sweets try eating fruit. Strawberries, blueberries, frozen unsweetened peaches, etc. Maybe mix them with some ricotta cheese for some protein. Make sure your drinking enough fluids and getting a reasonable amount of fiber in your diet.

Pureeing the fruit with the ricotta and putting it in the freezer will create something close to ice cream in consistency and texture, but a lot healthier. It won't kill you if you add a little sugar or honey, but just don't go crazy.
 
Somebody last year on these forums was talking about binge eating, and she said one day she noticed she would binge until she ate some protein, and that seemed to stop the binge. (NOT saying you're a binge-eater, but I'm thinking it might work for those of us, myself included, who just find themselves snacking too much.) You might try, when you're hungry, to always eat some protein first - then if you're still hungry in about 15 minutes you could have more to eat. I haven't tried this myself (for instance, I might have tried it when I ate an entire large chocolate Easter bunny in 3 days, I MIGHT have tried it but I didn't ;~)) - but SOMEDAY I will try it because I bet it works.
 
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