Lesliemarie:
first off, you don't have to confess anything to anyone. It's not a question of confesssing and no-one around here is so sqeaky-clean that they can afford to throw the first stone at you. So, get the confession and the guilt over with, forgive yourself, and move on.
All you have to do is make a promise to yourself that you will now look after your health better than you have been doing: because bad eating and not exercising regularly will take a health toll, but only on you. Remember also that as a mother who works hard to raise her kids, you deserve good nutritious food to give you the energy to look after them and have the patience and tolerance to deal with their behaviour, whatever they throw at you, but also, you need and deserve the time each day to workout to make yourself a strong foundation of good health that will carry you on to the future as you age. The foundation of health problems experienced in the future is laid down now, as we are harrassed young mothers who always put family needs before our own.
I made a promise to myself three years ago to stop putting everyone else's needs before my own. I was only sleeping 4 hours a night, eating whatever crap I could lay my hands on and felt like s**t most of the time, with no exercise whatsoever. I burnt out of that way of living completely, it was untenable and a major depressive episode revealed the folly to me. I now give myself the time to workout because I realize it makes me a stronger and better mother (kids and husbands need to be taught, it is not all and always about them!) and nicer person generally. I eat better now than I have for years because at 39 now, I need to be aware of heading off disease in the future, and I sleep what I need to sleep no matter how much work piles up. If my husband deserves 8 hours sleep a night and a healthy dinner in the evening, well, so the hell do I!
Lesliemarie: so the hell do you!!!
You have already taken the first step: you kicked yourself in the butt and got your ass in gear, you worked out this morning, Pat yourself on the back. This is the first step. It is also the toughest, so take consolation from that. Stick with 5 workouts a week if you can: BECAUSE YOU DESERVE IT. MOMS NEED TO RECHARGE THEIR BATTERIES.
As for the eating: get all your candy bars, cookies, cakes and just throw them in the trash right now. Don't keep them and don't buy any more. Go pour over some cookery books, get excited about the cool and delicious recipes you see, check out the beautiful and colourful produce you can see in the stores right now and make a great dinner for tonight or tomorrow night. Enjoy your good food because you deserve that too. Get excited about real food! Make sure your plate at each meal has two or three fruit and vegetable servings, and vary the colours so you are getting a variety of antioxidants each day. And after you are done eating, push the plate away, store left-overs quickly so there's no temptation to pick, and get your DH to wash up to remove traces of food that might tempt you, and then brush your teeth. There's nothing like a minty-fresh mouth to make you not eat anything more.
Buy cherries. They are in season right now and deliciously sweet, a real treat! Eat as many as you want, strawberries too, nectarines and peaches will soon be in: how can anyone not O/D on Summer fruit? Fill up on this naturally-sweet stuff to kill off sugar cravings. Keep 2 pieces of fruit in your purse at all times so that if hunger strikes when out with the kids or doing errands, you will not be tempted to get a doughnut or potato chips to tide you over til mealtime at home.
Everyone has a particular time of day at which they are more susceptible to snacking and over-eating. For me this is after dinner, late at night when working, chatting to my husband after kids go to bed. When is your worst time? Identify it and then develop a strategy to be very busy at that time of day, and away from the kitchen completely. If it's during the day, simply go out and run errands or go walking to enjoy the fine weather. If it's at night, brush your teeth, get into bed and cuddle with your DH or read a fab novel or trashy magazine, with a cup of coffee to fulfill oral satisfaction without the burden of guilt or calories.
Good luck Lesliemarie!
Clare
