God daughter passed away

[lulu68]

My child hood freind just lost her daughter (only child) do to drugs. MY heart is hurting for her. I have no idea what to do?! My freind and I became distant and havent seen or talked to each other in years. I had her daughter (my god-daughter) on my face book, but I never got the chance to say anything to her, becasue everytime I would see her facebook it would make me angry. it was obvios that she was not doing good and heavily into drugs. What makes me angry right now is that her family and freinds are honoring her by drinking and smoking pot. I'm feeling somewhat guilty for not being there for her and my freind, and don't know how to aproach this. I wan't to let my freind know that my heart is aching for her but don't know how to aproach it or for that matter even take my call.

Lourdes

 

[Trixoo]

Lourdes -

I'm so very sorry. Maybe you could send your friend a card simply saying how much you care and asking to get together for lunch or dinner or just a long talk (of course, also offer any immediate support she may need). Then a day or two after she's received your card give her a call...she'll have had time to think about it and so will you.

What your friend is experiencing will be with her the rest of her life and what she needs are friends who will be there with her, patiently, as she works her way back to some level of "normal.". The people who are with her now perhaps will not be there for her in that way, so don't feel bad or guilty because you're not sitting there with her today, if you'll be there for her a year from now when petty much everybody else is gone.

My guess is that you can share memories of your friend's little girl from a better time, and your friend might find that a great comfort.

I'm so sorry for your loss, and hope you're able to reconnect with your friend in a meaningful way.