Girls and Weight Issues

[gidget1978]

Im writing this for anyone who has had little girls or these issues. For that matter, anyone who knows anyone as well.

My daughter just turned 11 in March and although she sees me workout on a regular basis, she never sees me weigh myself, nor do I go around all day eating rabit food and drinking water. There is always a variety of baked goods in my house and so on.She is a small girl, who now probably weighs in the 90's somewhere and is about 5'2".

I have noticed in the past week that she has been weighing herself a little to frequently. And it was not until yesterday that I caught on. I think she weighed herself in the morning, then when we went to her grandmothers house, i used the washroom and when I did, I noticed the scale was moved. (eveything in my MIL's house is in its proper place) Then last night she asked me to watch a movie with her, and half way through the movie she said, "I'll be right back". She went into my washroom, locked the door and I could hear her get on the scale and off again! When she came out I asked her how many times she had weighed today and she said she didn't know. I told her that I was hiding the scale away tomorrow...in which she replied "no your not".
A part of me is concerned b/c I know its not right but I also own a digital scale and Im not sure if its just a game to her.

Also, the other night we had a couple of friends over and the girls were sitting around the table. My DD says " does anyone here workout besides for my mom?" They all said they didn't. DD then says " see mom, they all stay skinny and they don't workout" I once again replied (b/c I have told her this a million times) I workout to stay healthy not to get skinny, but apparently she as the misconception that a lot of people do.

At the same time, this child can eat 2 chocolate chip muffins for her breakfast and drink koolaid through out the day, so she is not into the "diet" part of it.

Another story, another time last week she weighed herself in the evening and I guess she weighed more b/c she said "tomorrow I am having toast with nothing on it for my breakfast and a yougrt. Then later I am going to do B&G". Sure enough, while I was working out she had her breakfast but then later in the day went to a friends house to play. When she got home she went to the cupboard and started eating and said she wasn't worried anymore b/c her bf weighed 104 lbs. So b/c Megan weighed more then her,she wasn't worried about her weight. But what about if megan had weighed less? Then what?

I informed her that she is not going to stay in the 90's forever b/c when the scale goes up , i don't want her to freak out. I told her as she gets taller and older she will be filling out and gaining weight but she will settle in.
But at the same time she says that Hillary Duff is to skinny.

Im just not sure what to do. Do I hide the scale? which I intend to do...but what else can I say to her to make her see that she is fine!

Any suggestions?

 

[2tina72382]

aww Gidget, I'm so sorry you and your daughter are going through this. I don't have any children, but I behaved similarly when I was younger. my advice would be to keep setting a positive example for her. You might also want her to see a counselor or someone who deals with just body image disorders, or eating disorders. I think that's what I would do if I were in your shoes.

I'll be keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[tneah]

I am glad your daughter has you as a good role model. My stepmom rasied me and was in and out the hospital with bulemia and anorexia related things my whole life, so I got a really screwed up idea of what being "normal" was!
You are doing the right thing, focusing on being healthy, not focusing on weight. I would maybe encourage her to get involved in sports or a hobby she would excel in, take that focus so much off the body and weight. Although I know at that age, its a big deal when your body starts to change, she is probably comparing herself to her friends-all perfectly normal for girls her age, but I would think that trick would be to keep on instilling in her that sense of self, that she is "perfect" just the way she is. And that as she develops and grows into a woman her weight will change, but it is normal and supposed to, it will happen to all of her friends too.
I do not know if this is good advice, I just am speaking from experience as the young girl who had her own issues growing up, and what would have possibly helped me.

 

[GreenEyedLefty]

I have 2 daughters, one 7, one nearing 17.

IMO, a trip to the pediatrician would be more helpful than an eating disorders counselor. So far there doesn't seem to be any evidence of an ED going on here. The ped. can explain normal growth and weight gain, and help your DD anticipate the physical changes that puberty is going to bring (hips, breasts, etc.). The ped. can also show your DD her growth chart and explain that everyone develops at their own pace - some weigh more, some less, some are taller, shorter, etc., and for that reason she really shouldn't compare herself to her friends.

11 is the cusp of puberty, she likely knows this, and she's freaking out a bit. Maybe some of her friends have started their periods or are developing already.

Also, in your shoes I would put the scale away without an announcement.

 

[gidget1978]

Thanks ladies. Some great advice!

She started her period last christmas so I know her body is going through a few changes right now. I feel bad for her at times b/c it was to young for her to start and even this past weekend she couldn't go to a pool party b/c she started. As far as I am concerned, she is to young to be missing out on things b/c of puberty. They seem to be starting earlier all the time now.

Thanks again,
Lori