General Consensus on Forum

W

waterlily

Cathlete
I am really disappointed to see that if a person does not agree with the
"general population" on the forum one has to be 'outed'!! (Whatever that means). When I posted "Do you tip?" question, it was a general question asking for feedback, as were my other posts. Some responses were informative and some were downright mean.

Whoever it was that said that they looked at my other posts and said that they were controversial does not know what a controversy is. When I post here, I am asking for feedback on what I consider to be a topical or current issue. In my opinion, there is nothing controversial about them. There was one post where I asked about dressing sexy at work and I put a disclaimer where I said that no one should be offended. Obviously my attempt at humor was passed over.

I think that instead of just trying to judge everybody and think that everyone is trying to stir up trouble on the forum, people should take a look at themselves and ask why is it that I think so negatively of others.

Waterlily.
 
Well, your original post conveyed a sense of entitlement at best, and at worst, ignorance of how the service industry works.

People's responses to your post were pretty much in line with those of the general population. People tip; there's nothing "cultural" about it. Absent bad service, to not tip is miserly and selfish.
 
>I am really disappointed to see that if a person does not
>agree with the
>"general population" on the forum one has to be 'outed'!!
>(Whatever that means). When I posted "Do you tip?" question,
>it was a general question asking for feedback, as were my
>other posts. Some responses were informative and some were
>downright mean.

I don't think anyone will "out" you. First of all you are right you did ask the question and you have to take the good with the bad. I have read the responses and most were passionate in "their" answer. I stated in my response that I couldn't believe you even asked this question that is asking for a confrontation with anyone not just the on this forum.
>
>Whoever it was that said that they looked at my other posts
>and said that they were controversial does not know what a
>controversy is. When I post here, I am asking for feedback on
>what I consider to be a topical or current issue. In my
>opinion, there is nothing controversial about them. There was
>one post where I asked about dressing sexy at work and I put a
>disclaimer where I said that no one should be offended.
>Obviously my attempt at humor was passed over.

I Missed this post
>
>I think that instead of just trying to judge everybody and
>think that everyone is trying to stir up trouble on the forum,
>people should take a look at themselves and ask why is it that
>I think so negatively of others.

Again You asked the question you chose to stir up a group of people that feel passionate about what you asked them. Personally I was raised to tip. My very dear friend cuts my hair she charges me $30.00 for cut, color, highlights, eyebrow waxing, trim and style I give her $10-$20 becuse she is doing me a great service and I always wish I could do more. I know what she makes "nothing" she is on her feet from morning until night 5 days a week should she run out and find another career because she likes to cut hair and has to depend on people for tips to pay her bills she buys all her supplies and pays booth rent no Health Insurance is provided. This is like Politics and Religion we will all never agree and we will all feel pssionate about one thing or another.

I always feel if you ask a question you better be prepared to take the answer anyway it comes at you. Does that mean you have to watch what questions you ask? Well you mentioned above you had another post that caused controversy maybe it is you that should look at your questions before you jump on those that answered honestly and passionately.

I think we are all mature enough to move past a question.

So have a splendid evening and we will see you tomorrow.
>

beth6395

"Another one that proves equipment is not necessary to get the job done" -Cathe Friedrich
 
I don't get where you think I have a sense of entitlement. An ignorance of your service industry, I will agree with. I don't think that because I have an opinion that is not the norm makes me selfish or miserly and I strongly disagree that 'tipping' in not cultural. I come from a country that begging on the streetside is the norm and 'tipping' is a choice, not a requirement. Because it's a choice, I choose not to.

By the way, in my country, persons in the service industry do get paid more than minimum wage. I was not aware that in the great USA a person's livelihood depended on the chrity of others.
 
Beth6395,
I am not upset that people disagree with me or even answer me passionately. What bugs me is the meanness in some of the responses. I have never in my life seen a group of people who agree with each other all the time but I never expected some of the cruel feedback. I am also upset about is the comments saying that I have been outed? I disagree with this completely. When I post, I am not trying to upset anyone, I am simply trying to carry on a conversation on a forum and engage in a lively discussion.
 
Sorry for the repeat post, but I thought I should answer in both threads for clarity's sake:

Geesh, you go away from the forums to watch a movie and enjoy a quiet Sunday evening and so much goes on:)

Seriously though, Waterlily, I was the "original" poster who you seem to have such a vehement reaction towards---saia11---my name's Mattea---and I was not attempting to "out" you as a troll and it was not my intention to be judgemental of the viewpoint expressed in your original post--although it was not my viewpoint. Nor was I simply trying to imply that your posts are only there to stir up trouble. As you say:

"What really irritated me is the poster/s who think that beause I voice an opinion I am stirring up trouble? That sinply is not the case. In my opinion, I just started an innocent post asking for the input of others. I didn't ask to be mistreated or 'outed'."

My intention was to offer to you and others the suggestion that this was a controversial topic, as quite a number of your other posts have been, and that, whether or not *you* meant them to be so inflammatory, by now you should have realized that they were going to have this effect (as your "humorous" disclaimers demonstrated you were aware). As well as to let others know that this has been a trend with your posts in the past, and as such, they might want to take a step back and evaluate the bigger picture before responding.

I'm sorry that you were upset by this, but I also felt badly for those that found this topic to be very personal. It was not my intention to offend you or to "out" you, but to let people know more about where they were directing their energy and to hopefully help us to put this current disagreement in perspective. The world is so much bigger than this I hate to see the good ladies on this board fall into dissention again and again over what someone offers as a harmless remark.


Peace,
Mattea
 
Waterlily,

I apologize for using the word cheap in reference to a non-tipper. Lets say, reluctant to part with money or unusual or excessive frugality.

Here is a good TIP for you. Never be upset over what someone you don’t even know, or someone that knows nothing about you says about you. :)
 
Hey Bill,
Well said. I enjoy your take on things and the little tidbits you contribute around here ;)
Calee
 
Thanks for your input Bill, and I take your point about being upset. I guess I will have to try and take things more easily.
 
Emotion, and humor are hard to express on a forum. Sometimes a satirical personality that would be humorous in person comes off really harsh on a forum. You just need to think of that before posting. No amount of :D :D :D can help that at times.
 
Waterlily,

From personal experience, I want to tell you that I have felt like you in the past with certain posters. My advice is don't let them get to you and don't argue with them. It isn't worth it. When writing in the forum, someone can always find fault in your words. Just ignore it. People have a tendency to read too much into another's words. Think about the daily verbal disagreements you may have...it is usually because you are misunderstood. Please don't let people bring you down. The forum is a fun place with lots of interesting opinions. Take what you like and ignore the rest! :)
Have a great day!
 
I remember posting something and someone thought I was being harsh. My post was not intended to be unkind or incite anything! It is very hard to convey emotions over the internet. Most people have opinions and do not intend to hurt anyone. For the most part I think that people really just want to be heard.

Cheryl
 
I agree with the above 2 posters and Bill. Don't let others opinions bother you. I got it when I answered a question about Britney Spears and got jumped on. I thought it was a light hearted thread but it went all political on me!:) Just move on! Everyone on this forum has different opinions and we should all show respect and still be able to ask questions and offer opinions no matter what they are.
 
It seems to me that your comments were a rant, not really an opening for friendly debate. The response you received from some may in part be due to the fact that your comments represent the kind of people service industry workers dread...the self important type who look down their nose at lowly service workers who should be there for their beck and call. I suspect your comments were not intended in the way which they were received, but it is safe to say they struck a nerve with people who often feel, rightly or not, under appreciated and under paid for the dedicated service they often provide.
 
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