for those of you with kids in private school...

M

Michele S

Cathlete
Can I just ask a few questions???

Our public school, where my son is in second grade, literally sucks. While I think we have excellent teachers, there is a severe behavior/discipline problem that has developed since the school got a new principal two years ago. I won't go into details, but let's just say that this year has been a rude awakening as to how some people are raising their kids. Also, as an added bonus, our district is always in severe financial straits, so there are always money issues, from the beginning of the school year to the end!

Anyway, we are seriously considering sending our son (and younger children, eventually) to Catholic school. I have been very surprised, however, at the reaction that this has received from some of the parents that I am friendly with through my son. I'm learning now that it's not always a good decision to befriend your kid's friends moms and dads!

So how do I answer the questions that people pose? Why am I willing to pay school taxes and not send my kids to that school? Am I trying to shelter my kids? Am I trying to raise my kids to be snotty? Do I want to be around a lot of rich, snobby parents? How in the world can I afford to eventually send three kids to private school? This is what I've been hearing, and while I don't want to offend anyone whose kids remain in our public school, I'm also feeling the need to defend my decision!

TIA!:)
 
How interesting. In Ontario, Catholic school is not private, but rather an alternate public school choice. You can choose for your taxes to either support the public school system or the "separate" school system, as it's known.

I think it's awfully rude of people to be asking you those questions in the first place. It's really none of their business where you send your kids to school, how you're going to pay for it or who you choose to "be around". I would simply tell them that you're trying to make the best choices for YOUR children and leave it at that.

I'm constantly amazed at how people think they have any say at all in your life choices. Sheesh!
 
You must go with your gut instinct rather than what the other people are saying. I have some issues with the public schools around here and would love to send my kids to a private school. However, that is not an option here since we only have public schools. If you think there is a problem with discipline in your school, you are probably right. A lot of schools go about discipline in way that are not correct.
I am currently studying ele/spec ed. I had a great behavior management class. What I don't understand is why teachers/administrators learn the correct way of discipline, but don't implement these methods in their schools. I think it is easier to discipline with the "old school" methods and focus on the state standards that make their school look better on paper.

Sara

http://www.picturetrail.com/saraburnham1
 
Hi Michele,

I'm not a parent but my sister and I both went to private, Catholic school, as did my brother (in fact we all went to boarding school). First off, it's not fair to say that the parents and kids are going to all be rich and snobby, just because they have the opportunity for private education. Certainly, there may be some but at my school there were plenty of nice wealthy parents and kids, plus you'll probably find that there are also a fair number of middle class kids, especially at a Catholic day school. My sister's kids went to private Catholic school until homeschooled, and the economic level of the kids there ran the gammit from extremely well-off to scholarship kids.

As for taxes, you have no choice but to pay those, so it's not a matter of being "willing" to pay. I'm sure if your state offered a tax "opt-out" for private school you would be willing to THAT, LOL.

As for sheltering, I'd say go for it!! Why would you want your kids to be exposed to behaviors that are so bad you are considering pulling them from that environment? Are they really going to benefit from watching other kids swear at the teacher etc, engage in inappropriate sexual antics, etc.?

And, private school has its share of disastrous kids, LOL. The difference is, if enough teachers and parents complain, the school has the option of saying "get your kids under control or don't bring her back."

Do what works for you and your kids. HTH!

ETA: I agree with Shelley. What a bunch of busybodies!!

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
How you decide to have your children educated is YOUR business. You do not have to justify your decision to anyone. I cannot believe the rude questions that people have asked you.

I went to Catholic school for 9 years and I believe that there are pros and cons. Make sure that the teachers are qualified in the subjects that they are teaching. It has been YEARS since I was in Catholic school but the nuns that taught me should not have been teaching math. I am terrible in math and I'm blaming them! LOL I think that I received a good education from attending Catholic School (aside from the math of course). I think that part of my morals can be attributed to the 9 years that I went there. The classes were very small and we did receive the 1:1 attention that was needed. The negatives for me were that when it was time for me to go to highschool, I went to public high school and I had a VERY hard time adjusting. My brothers on the other hand, hand no problems adjusting to HS. But we all know how teenage girls can be with their cliques, etc., which is why I think I had a hard time adjusting.

I would also like to say that I work in the spec ed office (we also handle the gifted program) of a local school district. The catholic school in our area only goes to 8th grade (as most do) and ALL of the students that come into our high school from Catholic into the 9th grade are in the gifted program so there is proof that these children are getting a great education at the private school.

I guess I really didn't answer any of your questions did I??? You need to do what you feel is right for your children and ignore all those rude/obnoxious people and their questions.

Good luck on your decision.
 
Michele-
I have kids in both private and public schools. My boys go/ graduated from a private Jesuit middle and high school. My girls didn't have that option because we didn't feel the girls parochial school was on the level of our own public high school.

The decision is very personal to your family and even varies from child to child. Frankly, who cares what other parents think about how you choose your child to be educated? I urge you to gather all the information about the availble choices and make an informed decision.

Best of luck to you.

Judy "Likes2bfit"


If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.
Success is acheived by early preparation


http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce27b3127cce94279e1404fa00000016108AatHLZo3buN

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5ce27b3127cce9426d0892
 
You know, Michele, I think it is the great parents that try to protect their kids and want them to have a better life, the best life possible for them and lead them down the right path. If you are being put down because you want your kids to have the best education, then it is not you that people are attacking it is their own pride probably because they aren't doing what is best for their kids, and maybe because they know that their kids might even be part of the problem and they don't like someone suggesting that by taking their kids somewhere else. You are a great parent for wanting what is best for your kids, and I applaud you for wanting to take the steps. Don't worry about offending other people, your children are the most important people in your world and you have to do what is best for them. Hopefully there are other parents who will be willing to stand up and do what is right for their kids as well. Parenting is the hardest job around and there will always be someone who will put you down for the choices you make, you just have to go with your gut. :)

ETA I might even ask those parents how they could stand to settle for anything less than the best for their kids, challenge them right back ;)

Missy
 
My sister teaches 5th grade in a public school and is completely frustrated for the very reason's you're thinking of pulling your kids out. There are so many behavioral problems and you're just stuck with with these kids. It's not like a private school where they have an option to expel them. And they have to be so careful for threat of lawsuits.

There are a lot of bad kids out there that should be thrown out of the school, but somehow or another they end up being categorized as special needs kids with severe behavior, and once they get this tidy label you can't touch them. There very well may be some kids with pathological reasons for their behavior, but most of them are simply kids that have never been disciplined by their parents a day in their lives. Unfortunately then, the rest of the class is held hostage by these hooligans.

I say move your kids. The parents who have a problem with it are probably more jealous than anything. They'd move their kids too, if they could afford it.

Michele
 
Michele,

The decision as to where you decide to send your kids is yours! Forget what other people say. As for rich kids in Catholic schools, it isn't true. They are from all socioeconomic classes. My parents sent all four of us to Catholic school, and we were very middle class. If the public school sucks, I would really consider other options. I know with most Catholic schools there is a "discount" for the second, third child. I am sending my daughter to kindergarten public shcool because the school is really good. But, I will watch, and reassess the decision as needed. Secondly, my mom always told me to watch your kids friends' parents! Sounded weird to me at first, but kids learn their actions, sense of right and wrong from parents. We have to know who our kids are hanging out with, and what their parents are like! Life isn't easy!

Do what is in the best interest of your children, and it's your decision, you don't have to defend it to others.

Ann Marie:+
 
>My sister teaches 5th grade in a public school and is
>completely frustrated for the very reason's you're thinking of
>pulling your kids out. There are so many behavioral problems
>and you're just stuck with with these kids. It's not like a
>private school where they have an option to expel them. And
>they have to be so careful for threat of lawsuits.
>
>There are a lot of bad kids out there that should be thrown
>out of the school, but somehow or another they end up being
>categorized as special needs kids with severe behavior, and
>once they get this tidy label you can't touch them. There very
>well may be some kids with pathological reasons for their
>behavior, but most of them are simply kids that have never
>been disciplined by their parents a day in their lives.
>Unfortunately then, the rest of the class is held hostage by
>these hooligans.
>
>I say move your kids. The parents who have a problem with it
>are probably more jealous than anything. They'd move their
>kids too, if they could afford it.
>
>Michele

Michele,

I have a ton of teachers in my family. My aunt recently took early retirement rather than have to deal with any more discipline issues in her classroom. She taught 1st - 4th, depending on the year. She told me that she spent so much time simply managing the kids that the handful of students who did want to learn were constantly pushed to the side and told to "wait." She said in about 25-20 years of teaching it has gone from one or two behavior problem kids that could be managed through the school and the parents, to being generally a freeforall where the problem kids well out number the well-behaved. And, of course, today so many parents scream for IEP and meds, rather than confronting their own bad parenting.

bring back the SWITCH. (kidding!!)

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
>I have a ton of teachers in my family. My aunt recently took
>early retirement rather than have to deal with any more
>discipline issues in her classroom. She taught 1st - 4th,
>depending on the year. She told me that she spent so much
>time simply managing the kids that the handful of students who
>did want to learn were constantly pushed to the side and told
>to "wait." She said in about 25-20 years of teaching it has
>gone from one or two behavior problem kids that could be
>managed through the school and the parents, to being generally
>a freeforall where the problem kids well out number the
>well-behaved. And, of course, today so many parents scream for
>IEP and meds, rather than confronting their own bad
>parenting.
>
>bring back the SWITCH. (kidding!!)
>


That is exactly why my DD's wonderful teacher is retiring this year, and that is exactly why my friends who are liscensed to teach don't. There is nothing you can do to control your class because of all the "disorders" that kids have, and parents gripe and complain and even forbid for their kids to be disciplined in school. :( Parents don't even make their kids respect them, so how can they respect any other adult? Ironically, you say you are kidding, but DD teacher said that the behavior problems getting really bad when they weren't allowed to spank anymore.

Missy
 
>Ironically, you say you are kidding, but DD teacher said that
>the behavior problems getting really bad when they weren't
>allowed to spank anymore.
>
>Missy



I attended Catholic school from 1st through 12th grade. When I was in elementary school there were certain "bad" kids who would be sent to the principal's office (Sister Helen Rita--and she was mean--LOL!) where they were told to bend over her desk and then were spanked OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER!!! No joke. Now, I'm sure that kind of thing doesn't happen anymore but I will tell you that we didn't have many disciplinary problems either.

Michele
 
I have a 5 yr old in kindergarten at a private school and a 3 yr old that will start his pre-school at the same school next year. We plan on sending them to this school all the way through High School. I will tell you it is pretty depressing seeing how much we pay in public school taxes and then turn around and pay tuition. But we believe this is where are children are supposed to be. Not all parents at our school are snobby and rich. Most of them are like us - we sacrifice to send our children to a private school. I know there are some rich people there - but have not yet met any snobby parents (we have been here 2 yrs). As far as how will we afford it? We have said from the beginning we will sacrifice whatever is necessary to send both of our boys through graduation.
As far as being overprotective? - Kids are kids anywhere - just because they are at a private school doesn't mean they will have perfect friends. I have already found that out - BUT -the parents have the same christian vaules that the school does - that we do.


This school is a christian school and it means so much to me that my boys will be taught christian values as well as a Classical Education! I can volunteer and be at the school as much or as little as I want - or my boys want! There is constant communication and the teachers love the children, I am confident about sending my children to this school!

I am not implying that public school teachers don't love the children. - I know there are a lot a GREAT & LOVING teachers in the public school system - Some are my friends!

Hope the helps!

jooge
 
>>Ironically, you say you are kidding, but DD teacher said
>that
>>the behavior problems getting really bad when they weren't
>>allowed to spank anymore.
>>
>>Missy
>
>
>
>I attended Catholic school from 1st through 12th grade. When I
>was in elementary school there were certain "bad" kids who
>would be sent to the principal's office (Sister Helen
>Rita--and she was mean--LOL!) where they were told to bend
>over her desk and then were spanked OVER THE LOUD SPEAKER!!!
>No joke. Now, I'm sure that kind of thing doesn't happen
>anymore but I will tell you that we didn't have many
>disciplinary problems either.

That happened to me once. Only once, and in first grade. Never thought of talking back to a teacher again. :p

Missy
 
>Unfortunately then, the rest of the class is held hostage by
>these hooligans.

I recently taught an after-school drawing class, and, boy, did I gain insight into some extreme student behavior! I had one boy that was so disruptive and difficult... He got the other boys all riled up and the girls couldn't stand him. (I almost felt sorry for this kid, though, because I wondered why he was behaving like this... not enough attention at home?? Who knows.) The bottom line is, discipline problems have a huge effect on classroom learning. My DD complains about her Middle school math class, where she says two boys are so disruptive that the teacher spends half of the time yelling at them. Is that environment condusive to learning? No way. So I say, if private school is a solution for you... and you feel it's the best thing for your child, then go for it. I live in a very highly regarded public school district... and my DD has friends who go to private (non-parochial) school where tuition is astronomical. I don't question their decisions to send their kids there. If they feel that's best for their kids... they have my full support.
 
Our 2 boys are in private Christian school...I just have to say that I hope there doesn't come a time when we have to pull them out.
It is a big sacrifice for us but oh the benefits out way that 10 times over. As for what people say I know it's hard but stand your ground to them. We are not rich nor are we snotty... We just use our money in a diffrent way. Instead of having all the latest clothes or
brand new cars we send our kids to a good school. Where they learn good values and respect. Good Luck! Garilee
 
I have my daughters in a Charter School I will not send mine to public schools. My SIL and Brother do not understand but they have never ever said anything or changed their attitude toward us it is my business. I went to a public school and I went to a good public school but children get lost too many classrooms too many teachers too many students. We could not afford to pay tuition to our Christian School because we will have 3 this was or second choice I love it the only thing that will be difficult is what will they do for High School they only have K-8th grade. They are in school from 8 a.m. until 3:15 I drive and pick them up. I pack their lunches and snacks they have spanish, computers, music, art, gym, science and recess (weather permitting), On Fridays they have a reading buddy that comes in and writes a story for them and helps them read. They have different teachers so they get a break from one classroom. The school has about 300 students and I love the fact they will know the students, teachers and parents they start out in kindergarten with. I can find enough outside activities to enroll them in. They wear UNIFORMS that is #1 for me Girls especially do not need to have this thrown down their throats at such a young age I dress well I wear makeup I do all the girly things and I explain to them they will have time for that EDUCATION is most important now! After school is girl time. Not who's wearing what and where she got it and how much it was.

No one should be concerned with your business every parent wants to do what's best for their child and what's good for you is what is important. Good Luck and know your decision is the right one.

beth6395

Edited to say my tuition is FREE! How lucky am I?
 
I just wanted to THANK EVERYONE for all your responses and reassurance! I called to set up an appointment to meet with the principal one day next week and will register my son at that time.

While I don't necessarily want to shelter my son from "the world," I truly believe that he doesn't need to be exposed to the world at such a young age! The "F" word flies in second grade (on the playground, of course) like you wouldn't believe; and if I wrote the incidents that have happened this year alone (thankfully not involving my son) I think everyone here would be appalled! We started out with kindergarten being a test year, 1st grade had us thinking of switching and this year has sealed the deal!

The one really nice part of switching is that there will be a point when all three of my kids will be in the same school, at least for a couple years.

Thanks again!
Michele
 
Your children, your choice - don't weight your decision by the opinions of those parents you mentioned. I homeschool and catch a lot of the "questions", and will tell you, eventually you'll come up with all the right answers or just "come backs".;-) Until you do, remember, you don't have to answer to the doubters.
 
If people continue to be nosy about your reasoning, just tell them it's because of "religious reasons". I would think that would shut them up.

Lori
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top