If I look around at the women I admire most, who have made the most lasting impact on my life and bettered the lives of others, I’d definitely say they were strong, opinionated but also prudent. Rarely did these character traits or behavior ever say, “small, soft, or unprovocative”, even if they were, themselves, physically small and soft-spoken. Women’s “power” comes from true femininity. And true femininity isn’t “soft”. It has a different strength than “masculine power” -- and that’s to the benefit of humanity. We endure, we persevere, we don’t give up, and even when we are silent, if we are dignified and self-possessed, people stand up straighter and give us respect when we enter and room and speak. (And if they don’t, they are the “weak” ones.)
I’m thinking in particular of my grandmother. She was a tiny little lady, but the strongest person I knew. She was feminine in all the right ways. She knew when to speak and when to act; when to be silent and when to rest. And when she saw someone she knew, everyone within earshot heard it. She was so joyful and welcoming and self-forgetful. She didn’t care who was watching or listening, she would holler, “Well, hey there! So good to see you!” And give the recipient a big hug. She’d give you the shirt off her back if you needed it and she was always the first to visit someone in the hospital if they were sick, or to take food to someone who had just lost a loved one. She worked in cotton mills, in the fields, was always in her garden or making something for someone — you never left her house empty-handed. She didn’t compromise on right and wrong, but you knew she loved you unconditionally.
In her later years, she had several strokes, one of which paralyzed her entire right side, almost completely. But the day after that stroke, when we went to visit her in the hospital, she was in her bed re-teaching herself how to crochet. They sent her home in a wheelchair but she rarely used it. She lost a daughter at 18 months old but she kept going; she lost her husband when he was 42, but she kept on going. She was unstoppable and I adored her — everyone did.
Small? Yes. Polite? Um…most of the time (hysterical laughter). Did she make waves? Oh, yes! All the best kind. My youngest child is named after her. She always told me how beautiful I was and how anything I ever put my mind to would be a success. So when I grew up, I decided what I wanted to be: I wanted to be just like her.
So when I leave the weight room, I leave it all on the floor — all of it — in honor of her legacy. And then I go and love my family and my community the way she would have. THAT’S STRENGTH. And you can‘t silence that.
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