Fallen off the wagon and can't find my way back...

[carrie123]

It started at the beginning of the week. I was doing alright with my eating plan. But then my kids, (they are so sweet) keep wanting to surprise me with yummy treats. You see this is the first year they both started working at a local tourist grill/DQ. You can see where I'm going with this can't you? Yep, surprise slices of pizza, fries, chocolate clusters, ice cream cones ETC...I love my kids sooooo much it hurts, and I can't bare to say "No" to them, esp. after they already bought it, are holding their surprise treats and are just standing outside waiting for me to pick them up. They are so proud that they just want to share their rewards.

Now after a long talk (first one being they should save their money for something they really want), and a few times of explaining to them I can't eat this stuff. I took a long, and hard journey just trying to lose the weight from when I was laid up with a broken back. Plus, I learned early on I have a blood clot in my calf.

Oh why of all people does it have to be the ones I love the most. My dd went to the soda fountain with her friends today and came back with yummy chocolate clusters for me. I said she should share them with her friend and she said, "No mom, I already bought my friend something when we were at the soda fountain". Then she looked sad. CRAP!!!

I caved and said "Thank you with a big hug"...and a feeling of despair, defeat and never ending pounds creeping back on me.

ANYONE OUT THERE THAT CAN GIVE ME SOLID ADVICE ON THIS ONE?!?!

Being firm with them is easier said than done, especially when their Dad is just as bad, with doughnuts, DQ. ect. With the everloving stress building up in this house (bills, refinance/selling the house whichever one comes first, dh leaving on and off for work and military, being a single parent most of the time), I'm on the verge of a major meltdown.

I'm sorry for ranting on so, I just so desperately need your guy's advice. You've always been so kind and helpful before.

Carrie

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[RunninTeach]

Carrie,

If your kids are old enough to work, then surely they understand how the onslaught of treats are sabotaging your eating plan, especially after you explained it to them. I think you do have to speak to them once more and be firm: you appreciate the gesture, but if they bring home anything else, you will not be eating it. Period. And let them know that if they really want to help you or show their love for you, they have got to respect that. Then, if they come home with something anyway, throw it out. I know that may sound harsh, but they need to see that you mean business.

Good luck!
~Cathy http://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/4.gif

"Out on the roads there is fitness and self-discovery and the persons we were destined to be." -George Sheehan

 

[debbydarestobefit]

Carrie, what sweet kids you have that they want to share what they've earned and try to cheer you up. Here's a suggestion, let them know what would be cheery for you ... a new nail color, save their money for a manicure or pedicure, or CardioCoach workout, or, even a dvd from Cathe, or whatever small thing that would cheer you up. They're obviously noticing the stress in the house and want to contribute something to making the environment more pleasant. Also send the message that the best gifts are the ones where you place yourself in the shoes of the receiver, one that the reciever would appreciate, not just the giver. HTH, Deb

 

[Faithnveggies]

Hi Carrie,
A couple of things come up for me. I have an addictive relationship w/ food, especially foods that aren't particularly healthy. So, I think of it like this, would I feel guilty for turning down heroin or crack? Even if it comes from the most well meaning person? Also, you can think of this as an opportunity to share w/ your children about how food does not equal love and power and shouldn't be used to manipulate feelings. I hear what you are saying, they just want to show you some love, but hopefully you can let them know that supporting you in your efforts to become healthy will take a lot of pressure off of you. Just my opinion, I shouldn't even be posting this late at night. Good luck, it is just hard sometimes.

 

[carrie123]

I just wanted to say thank-you for the replies. There was something mentioned about the kids wanting to "cheer" me up. That hit home, because I didn't think of it that way. I AM sad on the inside and they can sense that. I feel so defeated in more ways than I can count right now. I'm sure it will pass. Geez, I'm such a downer sometimes. Usually exercise helps, but not lately.

Again, I just wanted to say thank you, and I shall be more firm with myself to say no, to my kids.

Carrie

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