Hi, Becky:
Congrats on day 4!!! I know how very, very hard this is and I think it's great you are doing this.
I collapsed a lung from smoking like a pipe in college and subsequently went "cold turkey" in a hospital bed with a bunch of tubes jammed in my body. You would think this would be a very motivating scenario, but nicotine addiction is incredibly strong, and I struggled with "the urge" for a long time afterwards. I can remember one evening in particular, when I was babysitting for my nephew. My sister-in-law had left a pack on the kitchen table, and I actually picked one up and toyed with it in my hand for a while.
The motivations for me were (1), remembering the pain of having my lung re-inflated (trust me, this was almost more painful than childbirth without drugs!!), (2) enjoying the FREEDOM from cigarettes (not worrying about having a supply, where am I going to smoke, how can I get out of my job to do this, etc. - you don't realize how much you manipulate your life to appease your addiction), (3) smelling GOOD for a change, and (4) whiter teeth. Honestly, I had my teeth whitened and that was an incredible motivation for me! You don't realize how yellowed they get from tobacco. It's been.... wow, 16 years for me. So it can be done.
I hope you have a live support person you can call when you are getting the urge. The thing to remember is, you are only ever avoiding the FIRST cigarette, so that's the only one you need to worry about.
Good luck & hang in there! Let us know how it goes.
Take care,
Marie