Encouragement???

gwd

gwd

Cathlete
Hi there everyone! Since I never really formally introduced myself let me take care of that first. My name is Wendi and I have been lurking on this board for the past few months and want to say a big old "Thank You!" to everyone here. Because of all of the wonderful advice and knowledge exchanged here I, at 29, find myself in the best shape of my life. I have battled my weight all of my life (5'1" and usually somewhere between 140 and 150 lbs). Last year, with a few changes in diet and since finding Cathe, I was able to drop 32 lbs and finally feel like I CAN look and feel great. I still have a couple more lbs to go...I'm currently 116 and am striving for about 110. This board has been a continuing source of inspiration and information for me. Kudos to all!

My question is this...How do you deal with people (ie, friends, coworkers, family, etc.) who tell you that you are already thin enough and TELL you not to lose anymore weight? Now, I am by no means a stick. I have a very athletic physique due to my career...I am a barn manager and train horses (jumpers). It was just hiding under a rather substantial layer of fat :p. My body fat clocks in at about 22% and I do have a couple of problem areas that I'm still trying to slim down, like my lower back and abs. I'd really like to get that number down to about 20% and gain a bit more definition in those areas. Is this unreasonable? I just find it incredibly frustrating when people that matter in my life try to discourage me from continuing on this journey. Do any of you run into this? If so, how do you respond? Any thoughts/opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks again,
Wendi
 
Wendy - I have the same problem but most of the people around me are not into fitness and have no idea. I usually smile, say OK, and go about my business. If you start to tell them about BMI, BF, an extra inch here or there they go "deer in headlight" look so it is best, IMO, to smile, nod your head and go on.
 
Hi Wendi and welcome! I like your name!;) (see below!)

I get that as well...mostly from my mom. I actually got on a scale a few weeks ago to PROVE to her how much I weighed! She didn't believe I could weigh what I do and look how I do! I am no waif either! I am 5' 3 1/2" and hang around 129 pounds these days but still wear a size 4 or 6 in most things because of my muscular build. She atleast "gets it" about the muscle weighing more than fat thing so that's good BUT she still says I LOOK too thin and shouldn't get any smaller. ARGH! LOL I just nod and move on like Kathy. ;)

I know my mom just worries about me...she knows how much I exercise and knows I am careful about what I eat and I think sometimes she is scared that I will "cross the line" so to speak and end up sick one day.

I can't be mad at her for worrying about her daughter but I don't have to listen to her either. :p LOL

HTH!:)

Hope to see you around here more!
 
You don't sound too thin and you are happy about what your appearance is turning into. I have 15 more to go for me and i hear you are thin enough all the time.

DO WHAT YOY WANT FOR YOU, Not others.
They are just jealous.
I had a customer that told me i was getting too thin and i was looking drawn in my face.(I was ready to call a plastic surgeon)

I really think she was jealous because she is fat and flabby and i have really pumped up in the last 2 years.

It hurt my feelings bad though. I am about 19.4 % and my goal is 15%.

DO what you want that makes you feel good.
I am telling you thay are just jealous.....
Anne
 
Hi Wendy! I know how you feel. I have the same trouble areas too! It is hard to find anyone around to talk to about my fitness and stuff. THey just look at me, that's why I love this forum. I jsut do what makes me happy, and feel good. As long as you are healthy, ignore them, politely.
I also was wondering where you train horses? I have some and did hunt seat and jumping for years. Hoping to be able to do it again this year! Sounds like we have alot in common!
Good luck!

Maeghan AKA megadoo

http://www.3fatchicks.net/img/bar072/slider-but3/lb/203/145/159/.png[/img] [/url]

http://www.picturetrail.com/megadoo2
 
I think that ppl are used to seeing almost everyone they meet under a "substantial layer of fat" (to borrow your phrase) :)

Aren't we the fattest nation in the world? I really don't pay attention at all to ppl who think I "look sick" or underweight. I too am a very athletic build, and I can only assume that someone who thinks I look sick really has no idea what a healthy person looks like. Sad, but true.

I also don't talk about exercise, diet, or fat loss very much with anyone who doesn't get it. I just quietly eat my healthy lunches and snacks and do my thing. They'll get used to seeing the new you; their eyes and minds will adjust and they'll eventually find something new to move onto.

I think your goals are very realistic. I'm sorry that you're not getting much support from the ppl in your life, but unless they are into a healthy lifestyle, you're probably not going to get it from them. I don't talk about fitness goals with unfit people, just like I wouldn't talk about finances with a person deeply in debt. We just don't speak the same language. :)

Congratulations on your success!
 
Wendi-
I think your goals sound perfectly reasonable, except that 110 may be a bit low for someone who is muscular, and I agree with Robin that you shouldn't let the scale have too much power over your life.

I think you are very wise to post here and do a "reality check". As an erstwhile anorexic, I know that losing weight and eating light can become addictive. I would take note of what your friends and acquaintances have to say. However, in this case, it sounds like you are still on a reasonable track. I would just beware of setting new goals each time you reach one, as that may be a sign of danger ahead. But you sound like you're doing fine.

Congratulations!

-Nancy
 
Wendi- Way to go on losing weight! I usually don't even bother to discuss it any more- people just see I'm a size 4 and think I'm crazy! Its easier to not discuss it.

Wendy- I am sooo happy to hear you are a size 4 and weigh 129. I am 5'3" and weigh 129. I was always a size 4 but used to be 106-108 before I found Cathe and started lifting heavy. I always fit into my clothes and when I got weighed at the dr.'s last month and he said I was 129 I almost plotzed!! I was feeling pretty bad about it even though I am a size 4 and your post just made me feel alot better! Thanks
Deanie:)
 
Hi, Wendi and welcome to the Cathe gang!

The price you will pay - and pay, and pay, and pay - for getting fit and well in a fat and sick society is having to cope with the intrusive, boneheaded comments and questions FROM the fat and sick society. Develop an all-purpose noncommittal response, vacant smile and quick subject-change technique, and keep coming back here where you'll find encouragement and reality.

And, just in passing, I'm 5'3" and about 109 (the last time I weighed myself). Your goals are not at all unreasonable. I do agree, however, with the suggestion not to use the bathroom scale as your be-all-and-end-all.

A-Jock
 
OMG...thank you all so much for the feedback and support! It means more than you can know. This journey started with a tiny little step, eliminating about 2 liters of soda per day (okay, maybe not so little :p ) and I simply became more and more encouraged as my body began to turn into something that I thought I would never live to see. I am a food-aholic so it is something that is ALWAYS on my mind...I don't seem to have that switch that says "you're full" lol. I'm just so thankful to have this forum and be able to learn from those that are currently on the same journey and those that have been there and done that.

Meaghan...we have a private facility in Pine Bush, NY. Most of the horses are owned by the owner/trainer (my boss), are sale horses and ponies (of which we have MANY) or belong to the select clientele we have. We primarily do the East Coast circuit and WEF (Winter Equestrian Festival) in Wellington, FL. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.
 
I think a problem nowdays is that, because over 60% of the American population is overweight, and over 30% is obese, people have a distorted opinion of what 'normal' weight is, and they can often think that it is "too thin."

As for what to do when people tell you you are to thin: just go over and pick up somethign heavy, and show them how strong you are!
 
Kathryn - LOL! I am kind of freakishly strong. I was unloading a couple hundred bales of hay one day with one of our clients, who was kind enough to help out, and her eyes just about popped out of her head when I proceeded to march down to the other end of the hayloft with one bale in each hand...mind you, she ended up pushing one bale at a time across the floor after having tried to carry the first five or so :7 . I may be kind of tiny but I'm a Mighty Mouse!

Wendi
 
>Wendi- Way to go on losing weight! I usually don't even
>bother to discuss it any more- people just see I'm a size 4
>and think I'm crazy! Its easier to not discuss it.
>
>Wendy- I am sooo happy to hear you are a size 4 and weigh 129.
>I am 5'3" and weigh 129. I was always a size 4 but used to be
>106-108 before I found Cathe and started lifting heavy. I
>always fit into my clothes and when I got weighed at the
>dr.'s last month and he said I was 129 I almost plotzed!! I
>was feeling pretty bad about it even though I am a size 4 and
>your post just made me feel alot better! Thanks
>Deanie:)

Hi Deanie!

I'm glad I could help!;) It just goes to show you what weight lifting can do! Muscle weighs more than fat and we at 129 are probably in smaller size pants than some folks at our height who weigh LESS than us! :)

Before I got pregnant and before I started working out with Cathe, I weighed MAYBE a mere 5 pounds more than I do now and was wearing a 9 or 10. If I had simply dropped 5 pounds off of my pre-pregnancy body there is NO WAY that would have gotten me into clothes 2-3 sizes smaller! It's the weight training! Lifting just doesn't get the credit it deserves!:)
 
All I have to say is that the people who always tell me that I am skinny or need to add some fat so I am not cold are those that don't take control of their life and are quite overweight themselves. They seem to want company . . . :eek:

As long as you are visiting your physician who "sees" you and he/she is not worried - forget what others say.

As some have already said, #'s don't always mean anything. My scale will say I am fine, but the extra inch of cellulite on my things and backend tell me otherwise. It crept onto me last summer and I will have the willpower to take it off. As we grow older and out metabolism changes, we need to also.

Keep doing what you feel is good for you and what your physician says is good for you. I try to ignore the others who really don't know - (have they seen me in a bathing suit? NO WAY . . . so they really don't have a clue). :7

Best of luck on your endeavour along with many of the rest of us :D
 
Welcome to the sanctuary of health and fitness where the mind/body connection is King and excusologists fear to tread!!

I love this forum. Sometimes all the fatties by whom we all are surrounded succeed on some level in making me feel freakish and uptight because of my discipline and healthful priorities. Then I sign onto this forum to see what's up and am reminded that WE HAVE PICKED THE RIGHT LIFE and the excusoligists are dooming themselves to a mediocre existense. One of my friends used to be a bigtime competitive swimmer, but never was thin. Then she fell in love and lost a great deal of weight and started exercising with me all the time and exposed the most lovely figure and bone structure. She was a man magnet!! Then she got married and stopped working out (got her man) and now is back to square one. All she ever says when we meet is, "I hate you. You're so thin." Admittedly, that is getting old. But it is not going to make me put on weight!! Ha ha!!

It is amazing to witness the self-deceit that goes on in assumedly intelligent people's heads. Among my professional groups of friends - all lawyers and judges - I literally am the ONLY one who works out. And, not surprisingly, am the only one who is fit and thin. You should hear the nonsense they spout (I'm sure all of you have heard it!). They go on and on about how they just can't lose weight and how they are trying some silly diet, and how do I find the time to exercise, etc. etc. All the while ordering another glass of wine and chowing down on whatever fattening food is placed in front of them. So sad. And they wonder where my energy comes from - it's a happy cycle, isn't it, gang?!

Just do it, Wendi!!
 
Wendi, holy moly, what an accomplishment! That's like losing an entire person! Congratulations!

You have to just ignore people who say garbage like that. Sometimes when folks feel down on themselves, it builds them up to tear someone else down. Minimizing others' accomplishments in an area they've failed (obviously weight loss is one of the toughest things in life to achieve) makes them feel better.

But you're in good company here. Lots of us take heat for being slim. Just smile at them & remind yourself how much you've accomplished.
 
Welcome Wendi! I too am relatively new to posting, but I lurked for a long time.

All the posts above are on track. You sound like you've got realistic goals and you've made such tremendous progress! Way to go!

I accomplished a similar feat over the past year and am getting the same comments from friends and family. I just smile and say "I just look thinner in this outfit". Then I move on. They really aren't interested in hearing about how I did it or why it's so important for them to shape up, so I don't bother sharing how great it is. They really don't care. They just want company in their misery.

Stick with it and come here when their comments get to you!


:)
 
Thank you so much gym mom. You know what, that's exactly what I say, too. LOL! Congratulations on your accomplishments!

Take care,
Wendi
 
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