dissed by new neighbors???

delfin

delfin

Cathlete
So a new family moved into the neighborhood a few weeks ago. I'm certainly not ettiquette-challenged (tho maybe spelling-challenged), so I stopped by with a pretty bouquet of flowers and a nice welcome note. They weren't there, so I left them at the front door. Well, I know they got the flowers and note, but I've yet to hear back from them and it's been almost a week. Do you think that's weird, and maybe rude? If someone left flowers at your door, wouldn't you at least call and say thanks????
 
I would hope I would say something!!! But you never know how you feel in a new place- I'm sure their house is overrun with boxes and moving mess. (My parents moved into their house in OCTOBER and could only park their cars in their garage in FEBRUARY due to all the boxes!) I swear, every time I spoke with my mom I got an update... and I talk to her at least once a DAY!!! :eek: She wasn't really herself for a few months.

I can certainly see why you're feeling dissed, but I'd hate it to be some simple explanation and you'd ruin a good neighbor before you even really met.

Good luck, and know that you're definitely a great neighbor!!!!
 
Um, I am totally anti social so I don't know if I would have the guts to go say "Thank you". That may be rude, but that is me. Nice of you to do, but you shouldn't expect anything in return. Maybe they are really private people and don't want to strike up a friendship. Sometimes I think neighbors can try to be TOO CLOSE, you know? Not saying you are, but some people are paranoid......:)
 
I think it's rude. I'm not one to trot to the neighbor's and knock on the door, but a person can easily drop a "thank you" note in the mail.

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
 
I agree with Sparrow. A thank you is the right thing to do.

However, maybe you'll get one yet. It has been a week, which seems like a long time, but you never know how busy/crazy their life is right now. Give it some more time, but eventually the only polite thing for them to do is either call with a thank you or write a short note!
 
I agree that a week seems like a long time from the giver's perspective, but when you are dealing with the hustle and bustle of moving in, a week is a very short time. And maybe they have a child who misplaced the card? Or it got misplaced someother way (like someone stole the flowers before they even saw them?)

Give it another week, then if you still haven't heard from them and this is bothering you, stop by and ask if they got the flowers (in a way that isn't "Hey, why didn't you get back to me!" but more "I was worried that they might have been taken."

Don't assume that they are dissing you, as that can make a rocky start to a neighborly relationship.
 
I agree with Kathryn. I just helped my best friend with a move and boy, I'd forgotten how much work that is! They may well need a month to get it together. Also, are you completely sure they know who the flowers came from? Did your note include your address and /or phone number?

Michele:)
 
yeah, on the note I wrote our name and number, but maybe they did lose it. My husband thinks I obsess about this kind of stuff too much; I probably do. I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt, because I'd rather start a "good-neighbor" relationship off on the right foot.
 
I'm really not sure I would call. If you didn't leave your address, they wouldn't know who to send a thank you card to, which I would be much more likely to do. I don't really call people on the phone, so I'm not sure I would call. That may be rude, but you are taking that chance when you do something out of the blue.
 
I agree with ivorygorgan. If you didn't leave an address how are they supposed to know where to send a thank you note. I would probably call if there was a number but my preferred method would be to send a thank you note. Maybe you'll get one soon. I am big on thank yous. I don't think any gift should go ignored. It could send a mixed/bad message

Tracy
 
That was so incredibly sweet on your part. Give them time, they may take a long time to settle and get around to answering. I had neighbors do this for me with cookies and their address and number. Now I never sent a formal thank you, but dh and I have talked to them since and thanked them. I keep their phone number here and have talked about the fact that her dh is gone much of the time as well and her boys are off to college. She has invited me personally to go to lunch or something sometime. Most of our neighbors are great and we all keep an eye on each others homes. Anyway I just wanted to say give them time. I bet they appreciated it even if they did not say anything. Maybe they will do it personally.
Diane SUe
http://wd.1ww.us
 
I have to agree with the "give them time" theory. I moved not too long ago and that first couple of weeks was just a whirlwind of boxes and paper and unpacking.

Two separate sets of neighbours gave us gifts, and we were home when they did, so we thanked them profusely in person:)
 
One thing I have learned in life. You can't expect someone else to do what you would do. And, yes, some people need more time than others.
 
I think you need to relax. If your intention in giving the gift was solely to get recognition for it, then you're setting yourself up for disappointment. Few people take the time to send thank you notes. We have gone to numerous weddings, bridal showers, baby showers, etc. and given gifts...and have received few actual thank you cards. Parents quit teaching proper ettiquette back in the seventies so it's no wonder most people today don't send thank you notes for gifts received.

I say forget about it. Give the gift from the kindness of your heart and do not expect anything in return because you will probably not get anything in return.
 
I was a little shocked when I moved to Oregon and not one person brought us anything or stopped by. In Chicago we would be moving in and at least a few people would be stopping by to say hi or drop off plates of cookies and stuff. It is really a forgotten art to welcome people to the neighborhood anymore. I started doing it when people moved into our neighborhood and people looked at me like I was nuts! I still do it once in a while just to shake things up and I also rarely hear back. I think people get busy with the move, blow off coming over to thank you or meet you, and then they get embarassed that they haven't and don't do anything because of that.

I even had someone keep a cake plate and a tupperware cake box for 5 weeks! I went over to get it a few times and they were never home.

Maybe when it warms up in the summer they will be out and you can meet them.

Melissa

Keep your head in line. Your butt will follow.

http://www.picturetrail.com/pellmel
 
They have your name and number but do they know what house you live in?

Also, give them time...they are very busy unpacking plus they probably have jobs to keep them swamped during the day. If they have kids...even more busy.

Something I do...I always make sure to give the gift in person (usually a lasagna and dessert since the chaos of moving makes dinners a hassle) because it gives me a chance to introduce myself and for them to do the same. It has to help them feel more welcome to the area.
 
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