discouraged and depressed - need some help!

[jeanmarie]

Hi Everyone!

I was hoping for some words of encouragement; My DH and i have been trying to conceive for a year now (i'm 38; we have been blessed with 4 children; but I guess, when you love something so much, you want more!!)

I've gone thru some testing already (ovarian reserve is great, etc.),progesterone levels are good, just not conceiving...(age?maybe....)

I know i should be grateful for the kids i have(i am SO fortunate to have them!!), but i can't help but get really depressed when my period starts; how do you cope with the disappointment? Prayer does help, but can't seem to get past the sadness, for some reason....thank you all for your advice!

 

[wendybdh]

I feel for you. I know what it's like to want another baby so bad that it hurts. Do you have the book "Taking Charge of Your Fertility"? If you don't have the book its a must-have that shows you how to read your body's signals so you can time intercourse so that you have the best odds of conceiving. I've followed the book for each of my 4 pregnancies.

 

[jeanmarie]

thanks for your response!

Yes, I am familiar with taking ch. of your fertility; its a great book! We practice natural family planning, so I'm up on charting, fertile mucus,plus using OPK'S(and getting '+'s)....I'm considering trying a low dose of Clomid; it appears that i am ovulating, but just not getting pregnant. My doctor said that Clomid can give the ovaries a 'little kick in the pants', in terms of improving ovulatory function, egg quality....so we'll see....maybe in a couple more cycles....thanks again and good luck, God bless!

 

[chefkate]

jean, i was going to recommend tcoyf too, but it looks like you know about that one!
just wanted to adda "good luck" to you!

 

[melanalyus]

I'm 35 years old---been trying to conceive a long time.

I'm not sure HOW to get over that feeling (depression & frustration) that comes with each menses.

I have 3 children too...and am quite blessed. I'm frustrated....b/c if God doesn't want me to have any more children...then why has he left my strong urge to conceive within me? Seems cruel to me! *Sigh* but His ways are not our ways. *sigh* In all honesty, I need God to raise my kids....I don't want to have anything that He doesn't fully bless.

When I focus on my family & kids...and tell myself that I don't want to miss living TODAY in hopes of what may/may not happen in future....things seem better. Does that make sense? I've spent so much of my days worrying about conceiving,....that I've missed too many "todays".

Anywho, you're not alone....and I hope that helps.

 

[jeanmarie]

thank you so much for your response! I agree with you; I feel that our Lord has given me a great gift, a great capacity to love, and I'm struggling with why I'm not conceiving/ struggling with the 'unknown'(will I ever have another child?).

I've had people look at me like I/we are nuts for wanting more;"why are you sad that you aren't conceiving - you've already got 4...".

Your are so correct - His will be done (not mine!!) - I'm not saying that it will never happen for me (or you) but He is teaching me patience and trust - I'm struggling with how to cope with the worrying, repetitive thoughts.

Prayer, talking to our parish priest has helped alot, but you are right. I need to make sure I appreciate TODAY, and not miss out on all of the fun and blessings I have right before me now....oh man, I'm rattling on...

thanks again and God bless;

 

[melanalyus]

In today's age it bothers so many people that I'd like to have more than 2 kids. Everyone thinks I"m nuts too. It seems that people think I should be content that I have any kids....so many people can't have any. And they are right, I'm blessed,......but noone can understand the struggle unless they have been there themselves. Another misconception is that you could have fertility issues even though you have kids.

I have learned to make it a "private" issue, except with people who have had a history of infertility (or miscarriages) in the past....or who specifically ask me.

Anywho, I just wanted to make sure you knew you weren't alone. Feel free to vent here, ramble, join TTC check-ins, or PM me.