DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulders and...
- Thread starter delfin
- Start date
honeybunch1
Cathlete
What is this guy's problem?! He needs to be educated to the fact that women are not physically engineered to get big and brawny like guys. Show him pictures of Cathe & ask him him whether he can agree that she's a sexy broad who's in remarkable shape. I certainly would not stop working out because of his remarks.
He wants you not to get more muscular because why? What are his reasons?
Just Do It!
He wants you not to get more muscular because why? What are his reasons?
Just Do It!
acatalina
Cathlete
My hubby likes the muscles.
He asks me every day you working out?
He doesn't want me to get old and out of shape.
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=8227804&uid=3969941
He asks me every day you working out?
He doesn't want me to get old and out of shape.
Anne
http://www.picturetrail.com/gallery/view?p=999&gid=8227804&uid=3969941
JeanneMarie
Cathlete
RE: DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulde...
I have a question...
why does it matter what DH wants? Don't you make your own decisions about what you look like?
Just curious, as I've never even considered being worried what someone else thinks about how I look!
I have a question...
why does it matter what DH wants? Don't you make your own decisions about what you look like?
Just curious, as I've never even considered being worried what someone else thinks about how I look!
RE: DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulde...
Well, frankly I'm surprised any happily married person WOULDN'T consider his or her partner's thoughts and likes or dislikes in terms of appearance. I like DH with a goatee, so he wears a goatee, shaves it off once in a while for a change, and then lets it grow back. He likes golden highlights in my hair, so I get golden highlights most of the time. It's about respect and wanting to be attractive to and attractive for your partner and I don't think there's anything wrong with being concerned about that, within reason.
If it does matter to you what your DH likes, then my advice would be to try and find a happy medium. I got quite bulky two summers ago because I just wanted to see what it would be like; I know DH prefered me smaller, so I let him know I was just trying it on for size, so to speak, and had no intention of staying that way. Now, I'm muscular and defined but not looking to get too big. Works for both of us. If you don't give a rat's behind what your DH thinks then disregard the happy medium and do what you want. Just be sure to give him the same leeway in things
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
Well, frankly I'm surprised any happily married person WOULDN'T consider his or her partner's thoughts and likes or dislikes in terms of appearance. I like DH with a goatee, so he wears a goatee, shaves it off once in a while for a change, and then lets it grow back. He likes golden highlights in my hair, so I get golden highlights most of the time. It's about respect and wanting to be attractive to and attractive for your partner and I don't think there's anything wrong with being concerned about that, within reason.
If it does matter to you what your DH likes, then my advice would be to try and find a happy medium. I got quite bulky two summers ago because I just wanted to see what it would be like; I know DH prefered me smaller, so I let him know I was just trying it on for size, so to speak, and had no intention of staying that way. Now, I'm muscular and defined but not looking to get too big. Works for both of us. If you don't give a rat's behind what your DH thinks then disregard the happy medium and do what you want. Just be sure to give him the same leeway in things
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
JeanneMarie
Cathlete
RE: DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulde...
Sparrow,
I understand what you are saying, that it's nice to be considerate of what your partner does and does not like. However, I look the way I want to look. He doesn't tell me one way or the other. He loves me for who I am, not how wide my shoulders are, or what color my hair is. Those are my decisions.
This is just my experience though, and I understand that others feel and act differently. That's what makes the world go 'round, right?
Sparrow,
I understand what you are saying, that it's nice to be considerate of what your partner does and does not like. However, I look the way I want to look. He doesn't tell me one way or the other. He loves me for who I am, not how wide my shoulders are, or what color my hair is. Those are my decisions.
This is just my experience though, and I understand that others feel and act differently. That's what makes the world go 'round, right?
amyg
Cathlete
RE: DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulde...
I'm lucky that my DH is very supportive of my workouts and my slowly-but-surely muscles. I do make a point of telling him, though, how much fun I'm having experimenting where I can take my body, and how proud I am of myself for the work I put into it.
When he sees me working hard, and hears why I'm doing it and what I'm getting out of it, he associates the changes in my body with my feeling better about myself. He's always in support of my feeling better about myself, as many DHs are!
Good luck, Delfin.
I'm lucky that my DH is very supportive of my workouts and my slowly-but-surely muscles. I do make a point of telling him, though, how much fun I'm having experimenting where I can take my body, and how proud I am of myself for the work I put into it.
When he sees me working hard, and hears why I'm doing it and what I'm getting out of it, he associates the changes in my body with my feeling better about myself. He's always in support of my feeling better about myself, as many DHs are!
Good luck, Delfin.
RE: DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulde...
>Sparrow,
>
>I understand what you are saying, that it's nice to be
>considerate of what your partner does and does not like.
>However, I look the way I want to look. He doesn't tell me
>one way or the other. He loves me for who I am, not how wide
>my shoulders are, or what color my hair is. Those are
>my decisions.
>
>This is just my experience though, and I understand that
>others feel and act differently. That's what makes the world
>go 'round, right?
Absolutely! And I am not advocating a women cowtowing to her husband if he bullies her about her looks or makes her feel guilty etc. At the end of the day it's her decision, no doubt and any husband worth his salt will honor his wife regardless of her weight, hair, breast size...whatever. I just don't think the flip side is wrong either, if a woman *chooses* to moderate/change something about herself for her husband.
I love that we can have these discussions on the Cathe board and people don't get bent out of shape (mostly)
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
>Sparrow,
>
>I understand what you are saying, that it's nice to be
>considerate of what your partner does and does not like.
>However, I look the way I want to look. He doesn't tell me
>one way or the other. He loves me for who I am, not how wide
>my shoulders are, or what color my hair is. Those are
>my decisions.
>
>This is just my experience though, and I understand that
>others feel and act differently. That's what makes the world
>go 'round, right?
Absolutely!
And I am not advocating a women cowtowing to her husband if he bullies her about her looks or makes her feel guilty etc. At the end of the day it's her decision, no doubt and any husband worth his salt will honor his wife regardless of her weight, hair, breast size...whatever. I just don't think the flip side is wrong either, if a woman *chooses* to moderate/change something about herself for her husband. I love that we can have these discussions on the Cathe board and people don't get bent out of shape (mostly)
Sparrow
Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage
JeanneMarie
Cathlete
RE: DH not thrilled w/sweaters getting tight in shoulde...
>Absolutely! And I am not advocating a women cowtowing to
>her husband if he bullies her about her looks or makes her
>feel guilty etc. At the end of the day it's her decision, no
>doubt and any husband worth his salt will honor his wife
>regardless of her weight, hair, breast size...whatever. I
>just don't think the flip side is wrong either, if a woman
>*chooses* to moderate/change something about herself for her
>husband.
Oh, and I completely understand that isn't what you're advocating. I guess what just struck me about the original post was that she didn't say whether she liked her shoudlers, just that her DH didn't. I hated to see her question nice, strong shoulders because of something someone else said!
>I love that we can have these discussions on the Cathe board
>and people don't get bent out of shape (mostly)
And you are so right about this! I love a good discussion, and it is beyond refreshing that we can disagree, discuss the points and come away understanding each others viewpoints.
>Absolutely!
And I am not advocating a women cowtowing to>her husband if he bullies her about her looks or makes her
>feel guilty etc. At the end of the day it's her decision, no
>doubt and any husband worth his salt will honor his wife
>regardless of her weight, hair, breast size...whatever. I
>just don't think the flip side is wrong either, if a woman
>*chooses* to moderate/change something about herself for her
>husband.
Oh, and I completely understand that isn't what you're advocating. I guess what just struck me about the original post was that she didn't say whether she liked her shoudlers, just that her DH didn't. I hated to see her question nice, strong shoulders because of something someone else said!
>I love that we can have these discussions on the Cathe board
>and people don't get bent out of shape (mostly)
And you are so right about this! I love a good discussion, and it is beyond refreshing that we can disagree, discuss the points and come away understanding each others viewpoints.
kathryn
Cathlete
I find that winter wear is not necessarily as flattering to develped women's shoulders as summer wear and sleeveless tops. Some sweaters I have, and some flannel shirts that I wear around home, make me look like I'm wearing shoulder pads. But get those shoulders into a halter top (especially) or a short sleeved top, and they look just fine.
My DH likes that I work out and that working out clearly makes me feel better than when I'm not. We're all happier when I'm happier ;-) He probably wouldn't like a *bodybuilders* body on me, (not that that's anything he would ever need to worry about!) but I think that would be based on how it'd make him feel about himself, rather than how he'd feel about me. A lot of a relationship is really about how the other person makes us feel about ourselves.
Back to the shoulder thing... I think a muscular body looks great (within reason). One thing I don't like on myself though, is when I start to get good back and shoulder muscles my trapezuis muscles start to look pronounced and I don't like the look. I try and avoid shrugs and other exercises that get into the traps but mine develop anyway. Anyone else?
Back to the shoulder thing... I think a muscular body looks great (within reason). One thing I don't like on myself though, is when I start to get good back and shoulder muscles my trapezuis muscles start to look pronounced and I don't like the look. I try and avoid shrugs and other exercises that get into the traps but mine develop anyway. Anyone else?
berry99
Cathlete
I agree with Kathryn about the winter wear not being flattering to developed upper bodies compared to summer wear. I put on an old turtleneck sweater (from before I had muscles) the other day and it made me look horrible. Nasty broad shoulders and tight in the arms. Yuck. I am trying to stick to v-neck sweaters now. I just can't wait for summer to show the arms off!!!
Karin
Karin