Desperate and ready to give up

C

candy602

Member
Hello everyone I am writing this message in hopes that there is someone out there who can give me some advice before I call it quits and give up on fittness all together.

Three years ago I was a normal healthy person my weight, blood pressure, body fat, etc.. was all good then I started working at my current job wich more often than not consisted of days spent sitting around and eating. I am only 5 feet 2 inches tall and small boned, and in 1 year I went from 90 pounds to 145 pounds. I was so unhappy with myself that I decided to wage war against my fat.

I spent the next year eating 1200 calories a day, doing cardio 7 days a week, and lifting weights about twice a week. Eventually I made it back down to 103 pounds and I was happy about that however I was not happy with the amount of fat I still had on my body and I had stopped seeing any gains in my strength.

I am very educated about fittness and nutrition but had found that I had hit a wall. At that point I did some research and decided to go on a program called physique transformation who's premise is to get you to stop exercising and get you to eat large quantities of food for 12 weeks in order to shock your body. Those were the hardest 12 weeks of my life (no exercise) and at the end of the 12 weeks I had gained 21 1/2 pounds. I was miserable but I kept with the plan the next portion of the program was spent introducing exercise back into your life and slowly decreasing caloric intake. Well it didn't work the weight I had gained wouldn't come off. When the program ended I was still 15 ponds over the weight I had started the program at and my body looked worse than ever.

So, for the past year I have been trying everything eating more calories eating less calories, more cardio or less cardio, more weights or less weights. I can't lose an ounce.

My goal is to look as good as I can as close to a fittness competitors body type as possible and to be as healthy as I can. My current routine looks like this: 30 minutes cardio (jumping rope) every morning - 1 hour of cardio (step) mon, wed, and fri nights - two 1 hour upper body workouts a week and two 1 hour lower body workouts a week. My current diet looks like this, Meal 1- 4 egg whites, 1/2 whole wheat pita, and 2 pieces of turkey baccon, Meal 2 - 1/2 cup of oatmeal, meal #3 1/2 whole wheat pita and 1 can of tuna packed in water, Meal #4 low carb protein shake and a chicken sallad, Meal #5 fish and broccoli, and meal #6 8 egg whites and 2 pieces turkey baccon.

I may sound like I am in good shape at 5 feet 2 inches and 112 pounds however, I still look like a bad before picture with fat all over my lower body. I really want to trade about 10 pounds of fat for ten pounds of muscle. Does anyone have any advice on what I could do to get my body and my scale moving again? Fat burners, diet advice, anything? Thank you in advance for your help.
 
This is going to sound stark and harsh, but I think, from what you've written and how you've written it, that your main problem is obsession with diet and exercise, coupled with a dysfunctional body image.

From a behavioral standpoint I think you're overexercising. I see no rest days factored into your schedule, and the body needs that rest to repair itself. Your brain needs a break from the exercise mode as well.

I also think you're overcontrolling your food intake. Your food choices seem very ritualized and limited, patterned more along popular notions of "healthy" and/or "clean" foods rather than what your body needs. It also seems overly low in healthy fats.

Understand that fitness competitors have to live very regimented lives, devoting themselves to an artificial physical aesthetic that has very little to do with health. Understand too that the bathroom scale is a piss-poor means of determining meaningful body composition and should not be a means by which you base your self-worth.

IMHO, you need to step back from the whole obsession. Select a good mix of workouts (cardio, strength and flexibility) that you enjoy doing for the sake of doing them. Schedule in at least one day of rest. Broaden the types of food you eat, and let your appetite (both for macronutrients AND quantities) be the driver; I am firmly convinced that when the body is getting the appropriate type and volume of exercise (not too much and not too little, and appropriate balances of cardio, strength and flexibility) the body will tell you what it needs for food.

Exercise and food intake should be enjoyable things, not a death march. Please do what you need to do to let go of the obsession with results, and focus on the enjoyability of the process. The results will take care of themselves.

A-Jock
 
Candy, would you please read what I posted to Francine in the Thanks Francine thread, I don't know if that program is for you, but it may be worth a try... I am also 5'2" I have lost a lb or 2 this week so far, from 113 to 111, trying to get to 105, or what ever I like the best......... if it isn't for you, I hope you find it soon ... God bless ya Rhonda:7
 
Candy,

I am not sure what type of cardio and strength you are doing, but mixing it up a bit may help. Do 1-2 interval workouts a week (IMAX or IMAX 2). Or you can do intervals on a treadmill. Try some circuit training. If you are doing heavy lifting, try some whole body endurace type workouts like Muscle Endurance or Power Hour. If I can see a more detailed workout schedule I can offer some more suggestions.

I can't give much advice on diet. I am an everything eater, but in moderation.

Good Luck and let us know how it goes. You can do it, don't give up!!! We all go through some ruff spots with eating and exercising, but never quit...

Have a great day!!! :)

Beverly
 
Candi, I didn't know who's age you were asking for, but mine is 44 ... and I have a 21 yr old son and a 17 almost 18 yr old son .. been married almost 23 yrs :7 .... Rhonda :7
 
Hi Candy,

I sure hope you don't give up! You sound like you feel horrible now, but if you give up, I think you'll likely feel worse.

How are you as far as health is concerned? Are your blood pressure, cholesterol, etc. normal? It seems like you eat well- a higher protein, low carb, low fat kind of thing. Are you okay with that? Do you think you'll be able to sustain it in the long run? I noticed that you didn't have any dairy or fruit listed. I only mention this because if I ate what you ate, and this is just a personal opinion, I'd be pulling my hair out from hunger and lack of flavor! I think the kind of meal plan you are using can help a person lose weight, but I think it would be hard to maintain the loss. However, you did say that you are very well educated on nutrition, so I imagine you know what you're doing. Please don't think I'm "knocking" your way of eating.

As Annette mentioned, you haven't factored in any rest days. These are so important, especially if you are looking to build muscle and tone up! The "magic" happens when you rest. I think doing cardio, for no more than an hour 3 or 4 days/week is plenty.

As Beverly said, changing it up a bit can help. Would you consider trying a different weight or cardio workout, even just for a few weeks?

Also from Annette- the scale isn't the best tool!!! When I read that you initially weighed 90 pounds, my mouth dropped open thinking you must be a string bean. I do realize though, that weight looks different on everyone, and the way our bodies are composed also factors in. I'm also 5'2, and my ideal weight is about 125. I'm in the process of losing right now, and I recall that when I was 130, I wore a size 2 or 4, and my only complaint was wanting to look a little more toned. In Dr. Phil's book, I think he asks, "What is the lowest weight you've maintained consistently as an adult?" What ever that number is, don't aim any lower, because it's not very realistic.

My only other thought on why your program may not be working for you is that you may have a medical problem. Is it possible that you have a thyroid condition or are overly stressed?

I really admire all that you've done to get healthier and more in shape. Don't, don't, don't give up.

Be well!
Gina
 
Hi Annette,

Off topic- can you please tell me what IMHO means? I've seen it posted a few times and don't have a clue.

Thanks very much,
Gina
 
Hi, Gina!

"IMHO" is a cyber-acronym meaning "In My Humble Opinion" or "In My Honest Opinion". Since I'm seldom humble, it means "In My Honest Opinion" when I use it.

A-Jock
 
I just wanted to add one thing. I am no expert, just an avid exerciser. I noticed an obvious lack of fruits and vegetables in your listed diet. All I see listed is broccoli. These are very important in your diet, not just for vitamins and minerals, but the fiber these foods provide is also very important - and different acting from the fiber in whole grain foods.
 
Hi Candy

I hope my post will be taken in the right spirit. I too am very small - 5ft 3"/ tiny bones and I only feel happy at 105lbs. I tend to rely very heavily on looking thin for self esteem and am also very obsessed with dieting.

I'm beginning to realise that my set point is actually 115lbs and I am actually more naturally a size 6. I'm still struggling to accept this and I go through phases of fighting against this very aggresively (and stubbornly) by cutting cals ruthlessly and exercising excessively. Then I give up and binge because I feel so fat and hopeless. Then I repeat the whole cycle. As a result I have gained even more weight.

I am currently not being restrictive and am exercising for the fun of it. I feel less obsessed and the weight is coming off. There is absolute no use starving and going through rigourous training schedules. The body gets used to all that and you feel crap. It simply adapts and becomes as stubborn as your calorie cutting. That then in turn affects your motivation plus you are left hungry with limited energy for exercise and life.

Maybe you should try to eat more, make your workouts more fun and see where that takes you. It will give your body a break and you will come back happier and healthier. The knock on effect will be that you will be more motivated to make those fitness gains. I lifted for years on a diet similar to yours and I couldn't up my weights at all. There is no point in that. Its self-defeating and de-motivating. Also try and find other things that give you pleasure besides your weight, diet and exercise. Fitness can be a great hobby but it can become an unhealthy pre-occupation.

I would also urge you to consider that 112lbs is a good weight for you. I know how hard this is as I fight it all the time too. Don't dwell on the number too much. Set yourself other fitness goals like lifting heavier or trying some new activity. For me eating well has enabled me to lift heavier, develop shoulders (never thought I could do that) and have a little left over energy to start doing yoga. I have no idea whether I will ever get back to a size 2 again but I am confident that I will be a 4 again and am able to live with my current size as well. The journey shouldn't be a punishment. It should be something that we can learn from and enjoy.

Sorry to have rambled on but I really wanted you to feel better because I have beaten myself up so many times like you that its not funny. Hope this helps and take care
 
Thanks, Rhonda.

I was wondering Candy's age because this is sort of how my weight gain went when I was diagnosed as peri-menopausal. And as in her case, I was seeing the weight gain in the form of jiggly fat. Candy's answer was 31 and I believe she's too young for that to be the cause.
 
GUess we are all different I'm 5 2 and 112 and feel great at this weight. I've got enough definition, still petite.

I was visiting my mother also 5 2 and we went to the dr. With winter clothes on she was 95... she looks so frail.

Anyhow good luck with every thing.


Also perhaps you are overtraining or not getting enough calories. I know when I upped my calories I felt better and NO weight gain.

Good luck prfitness. What does it for me is avoiding at all costs the guant look. I'm in my 40s and just HATE the drawn in the face look which seems so common for very thin women when they hit a certain age. Perhaps that's my obsession - looking health but I had an aunt 4 11 who weight 78 lbs and she looked like a walking skeleton.
 
candy602 I have to agree with the advice Aquajock gave you. Your diet is way too regimented, and you are doing too much cardio. You need to rest on some of those days, and you need to strength train in order to build muscle.

I researched Physique Transformation and I must have missed something, because I remember you do weight training during the first phase where you eat a set number of calories, and then you switch to cardio during the phase where you cut back the calories. Maybe they changed it? I don't know. But if you're looking for the answer in a specific program, I really think first you need to change your mindset. If you feel you need to tone up at the weight you're at, then you need to build muscle. That translates to strength training. I believe you should adopt a workout routine that gives you both strength training and cardio, but you need to incorporate rest days. Also, your diet should be balanced and sensible. You don't need to be so rigid - just make healthy choices. I know there's a ton of research and conflicting information out there, but if you get so bogged down in it you can't even think, it does you no good.

I hope nothing of which I've written offends you. Hide your scale for a while, and concentrate on balancing your workouts and your eating habits. If you must monitor something, monitor your measurements about once a month, and the way your clothes fit. Those are the REAL indicators of how lean your body is, IMHO. I'm 5'2" and I weigh about 132 pounds, but I'm in a size six. So much for the silly scale!!

I hope this helps!!

Carol
:)
 
I've noticed that as the years go by, when you gain a lot of weight you can never seem to lose it back to the same appearence you were before, even though you can get the scale weight down. Basically it sounds like you've lost muscle and gained fat, and I know you'd like to reverse that. Unfortunately that just may not be possible without taking anabolic steroids which are very harmful. As we age, changes just occur that are not completely reversible. It does sound like you are obsessed with your appearance to the detriment of your health, however, which is sad. However, I do think you might see improvement if you would replace your whole wheat bread with lots of high fiber veggies. Fiber can acutally absorb some of your dietary fat, and the veggie calories just do not seem to make me gain weight like a supposedly calorie/fiber equivalent serving of whole wheat bread.
Beth
 
Candy:

It is a common misconception that fitness equates to weight and fat loss and that these can be the only reason ss for engaging in it. I don't understand this mind set I am afraid. I agree with other posters here that what you need more than anything else is a change of attitude.

If your only objective is to exercise in order to drop fat pounds, I think it necessarily leads you into over scrutinization of your body, of what the scales say, and it only affords a short term view. But this is your life we are talking about here, not just whether you can drop 15 pounds or not. You have to workout for the sake of your overall health and longevity. Cardio to strengthen the heart muscle, burn off some excess energy, get the whole body moving, increase serotonin levels in the brain, get rid of stress. Weight training to build lean muscle tissue, to keep your metabolism burning high, to strengthen those bones, to support the abs and back to avoid back pain in later life.

Isn't working out in a sensible program for the rest of your life so that you avoid all major diseases and are around to see your grandchildren grow up and make a contributon to society way more worthwhile than potentially reaching what you perceive as your ideal weight and expecting that all your problems will be solved when you get there, that suddenly you will be happy? You need long term goals. Lifestyle changes you can live with for the rest of your life. How can you seriously think about sticking with that diet plan for the rest of your life? It is way too restrictive, as everyone else has said. The lack of fruits and vegetables could potentially set up cancer risks later in life, not to mention potantial hair loss, lack of lustre to skin, etc. We need a well balanced diet, not just bacon and egg whites. I am not surprised you are frustrated: you are living a life of depravation sensorially speaking via the restricted diet, and then, when it doesn't pay dividends with fat loss, no wonder you feel like giving up.

You do not need to punish yourself in this way.

Why not enlist a friend to work out with you a few times a week, so that you can inject some fun and friendly chat back into the proceedings.? Why not also get your PCP to give you a referral to see a nutritionist so you can work out what your body needs to fuel it for life and to encourage it to drop some excess fat? But more importantly than that, please do some serious thinking about what you want out of life, out of a fitness program, what really matters here, what your long term goals and objectives should be. Please set the focus on fun, on pleasure, on health, on sound nutrition. Only these principles can keep you on the road to a fitness and happiness for the long term.

Good luck Candy, we all wish you well, and remember, that these are issues we have all faced atsome time or another. A lot of us have solved them and found a program that works for us. You can too. It's an individual thing.

Clare
 
Candy-
I have to agree with A-jock and the others who have responded by saying that you are too restrictive. IMHO, you are a perfectionist, and I sympathize. I used to allow perfectionism to get in my way and sabotage my efforts. You see, each time you have reached or exceeded your goals (which in themselves were unreasonable, IMHO) you should have felt a sense of accomplishment, but instead you were unhappy with yourself. So, instead of enjoying your accomplishments, you tried to do better and made everything much worse. Story of my life.

I seriously doubt that you look like a bad before picture now. It sounds like you are underweight now. Check the BMI scale to see. It's not perfect, but you need a reality check. Do as many reality checks as you can, such as asking others how you look. And listen to the feedback you get! Write down what others tell you and read it back to yourself several times per day. Also, seek out psychological help if you can possibly afford it. Check your insurance to see if it provides any coverage, and use whatever coverage you've got!

Good luck!
 
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