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- Thread starter pixie9
- Start date
RE: 'Friend' Rant
Okay, my first reaction was to say, "Don't ever help her out again!!!" But, then, I thought, what if the reason she's not answering is because she knows she can't do it, and she feels bad saying no, after you've helped HER out so much? Now, of course, it's not like me to go looking for the good in people}(, but that could be a possibility.
It seems likes she has taken advantage before, but maybe you should tell her the things that make you uncomfortable about the situations she puts you in. (AND, BTW, don't EVER give up your time unless it's something you really want to do. It will only cause resentment, as you are seeing now.) Maybe after awhile, when you don't do all these things for her, whenever she wants you to, or you let her know you're not getting in the middle of whatever is going on with her and her husband, you will find out whether it is really your friendship she wants, or just someone to help her out when she needs it.
Did you say on your message what you wanted? If so, the next time you see her, I would tell her how disappointed you were that she didn't at least call back.
Hang in there, Carolyn. And yeah, I can remain calm because I'm on the outside looking in, but if I were you, I'd be royally pissed off!!!!!!!!!!x( x( x(
Okay, my first reaction was to say, "Don't ever help her out again!!!" But, then, I thought, what if the reason she's not answering is because she knows she can't do it, and she feels bad saying no, after you've helped HER out so much? Now, of course, it's not like me to go looking for the good in people}(, but that could be a possibility.
It seems likes she has taken advantage before, but maybe you should tell her the things that make you uncomfortable about the situations she puts you in. (AND, BTW, don't EVER give up your time unless it's something you really want to do. It will only cause resentment, as you are seeing now.) Maybe after awhile, when you don't do all these things for her, whenever she wants you to, or you let her know you're not getting in the middle of whatever is going on with her and her husband, you will find out whether it is really your friendship she wants, or just someone to help her out when she needs it.
Did you say on your message what you wanted? If so, the next time you see her, I would tell her how disappointed you were that she didn't at least call back.
Hang in there, Carolyn. And yeah, I can remain calm because I'm on the outside looking in, but if I were you, I'd be royally pissed off!!!!!!!!!!x( x( x(
RE: 'Friend' Rant
Thanks TeTe! Great advice, of course!
I guess what I want is to be valued as a friend. To be honest, I find it tough to have female friends. There always seems to be a 'frienemy' thing going on and I'm just sick of it. I have found myself avoiding people because of this. I think you're right. I should let her know that I'm disappointed - regardless of what she says about not getting the messages. I know if I say this she'll completely back off and not want to hang out - which may be for the better since some of her actions make me frankly uncomfortable.
Thanks sweetie!!
carolyn
Thanks TeTe! Great advice, of course!
I guess what I want is to be valued as a friend. To be honest, I find it tough to have female friends. There always seems to be a 'frienemy' thing going on and I'm just sick of it. I have found myself avoiding people because of this. I think you're right. I should let her know that I'm disappointed - regardless of what she says about not getting the messages. I know if I say this she'll completely back off and not want to hang out - which may be for the better since some of her actions make me frankly uncomfortable.
Thanks sweetie!!
carolyn