LauraMax
Cathlete
Tami, I couldn't help but think of you when I read the last line. 
TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and
no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they
throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because
I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's
on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way
of saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the
coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God:
When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG
Dear God:
Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever,
smell one another?
Dear God:
When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?
Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God:
Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar,
the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not
ONE named for a dog?
How often do you see a cougar riding around?
We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the
"Chrysler Eagle" the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God:
If a dog barks his head off in the forest and
no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God:
We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.
What do humans understand?
Dear God:
More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God:
Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God:
Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they
throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because
I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's
on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way
of saying "hello".
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the
coffee table.
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the
house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he
makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
P.S. Dear God:
When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
