Belly Baring Tops

Oh, no! That is so sad! I feel so sorry for that girl! How does she do in school and do you know much about her friends?

Don't you wish you could put a boot in that mother's @ss? Ugh!, that is disgusting!
 
Well, dare I...I guess I will.

I personally think baring the belly is a little to much - look at me attitude. But before got pregnant it didn't bother me, I was young 21, and if I hadn't gotten pregnant I'm not sure when it would have bothered me now or not. Now as a mother when I see how many girls so young are baring their bellies, it makes me stop and wonder why. Well society tells them for men to give them attention they should show their skin. The problem is the little girls 8, 10, 12, shucks even 16 and older, don't know the message they are giving men - look at me and lust if you want. This circulates a whole problem of child pornography, lack of respect of women by men, and unbalanced idea of sexuality. Girls go on dates thinking they look "cute/and sexy", the boy thinks - she wants it, so date rape goes UP UP UP. Most rapes are never reported so the amount of times this happens is way hush hush. Chances are well all know someone who has be raped. While looking appealing for your partner is 1. fun and 2. how to get them to look at you ;-) , I think the more revealing you dress publicly takes away the intimacy of what is private for a couple and what is not. Now I am FULL aware I am in the major minority that this should be kept private, but I still hold that belief. So your almost 30, look good and are proud of it. Well if you want to wear belly shirts I would make sure you were in apporpriate places, aren't wearing a shirt a 16 yr old would - because quite frankly it makes an older (fit or not) woman look desperate for attention and people DO talk about it, and are respectful of who you are going to be around (the school point is a VERY good one). But as a mother, dressing that way - it's up to you and the message you want to send to your daughter and sons. I like it best when Jada Pinkit (?sp) Smith said on Oprah: Her 5 yr old daughter asked her, Mama am I sexy? And Jada was taken back. She said she asked why she asked that and they talked. Her daughter asked her if she (the daughter) could wear belly shirts. She told her, Does mama have to wear belly shirts for Daddy to think I'm beautiful? Her daughter said No. Well Jada told her daughter she didn't either. Jada talked about how upset it made her that her daughter was already thinking about these types of issues, and she's 5. Now that is something to ponder and think about what you do and how it affects your kids. Not telling anyone what to do here, or saying your a bad mom if you where belly shirts, just giving perspective.

please don't flame me ,just my oppinion.
 
No flames...julie. You ladies all have great points about "how much to show". I would never dress any way to cause my kids any discomfort. When I say show a little skin, I mean a little. NAd rarely do I do that. A nice slightly fitted t-shirt can look very good.

When my dd was playing softball, I would wear a tank top to her practices (under my shirt) and jog around the track whilr the girls played ball. I told her I would stop if she did not want me doing that. She said it did not bother her. One of the other mom told me that she wished she had my energy. I wanted to tell her to get off her rear and join me...then she would.

As far as date rape goes, no is no, no matter what a girl is wearing.
 
If you and your hubby are in agreement, wear the heck out of those belly baring tops!!! Nice abs are a rarity. Show them off!! I'd just chalk up the relatives as jealous.
 
Thanks for all the input guys. I feel better. I work hard on my body and I feel comfortable showing it off. I really don't see J.lo or Mariah Carey covering up their abs and they are older than me. I am gonna be one spiffy thirty year old.
Thanks again.
 
Well I am 52 and still wear them. I don't go shopping or anything in them unless dh is with me. Usually at home, on the motorcycle or going out dancing. I don't wear them around grandchildren. Funny, I have been using my dh office and one of my grandaughters saw a pic he had of me on his refrigerator. She said it looked like my shirt was to small. I shoved it in the cabinet. Anyway as long as you can get away with it and are comfortable I can see no reason not to dress how you want.
Diane Sue
http://wd.1ww.us
 
JulieL,

I appreciate your perspective but it appears you think or have been told that rape is based on fulfilling a man's sexual needs. That is INCORRECT. You need to do your research. Rape is a crime of CONTROL AND DEGRADATION of women. That is why rapists who are impotent will use something else to perform the act when they physically cannot perform it anymore.

I'm not flaming you...I'm informing you that your perception about the act of rape is absolutely wrong. If you apply your logic, women who dress provacatively are just asking to be raped. If that's the case, why are 70 and 80 year old women in nursing homes raped?
 
Well Candi I was mostly speaking about date rape and being a generation younger than you I can possitively can say that 1. this is a problem and 2. young men seem to know less and less where to draw that line, and 3. rape is about sexual desires (not healthy in rape of course) or else ummm, they couldn't do the deed - NOT ALL MEN WHO"VE RAPED ARE SERIAL RAPISTS. I won't take my point back - I know several girls in my age group early 20's who have had incidents happen. A boy/man is responcible 100% for their actions but our society's emphasis on sex, the need for sex, the importance for sex is off kilter and guys are often more ambitious in that area as a result. Yes rape is a crime of control, degradation, of women - it is also a place where "some" men feel they deserve it (such as she is asking for it - in some situations) and so forth. I don't know about in your community but in my community the "good ol mid west", I've seen countless reports on boys being accused and prosecuted for rape. Most of the times alcohol is involved but not always. It's something we can't take lightly. The way we dress does send messages whether or not you think so. If you are dressing for attention then you will get attention and not always the kind you want. Me personally even if a man didn't touch me but is lusting after me, that makes me sick. I can't control the man, but I can control how much of me he sees and lusts after. Just a perspective, not telling people what to do. But my perception of rape isn't wrong, but maybe wasn't a huge deal in your generation as it is in mine. Motivations behind rape and scenerios they occur in are widely ranged. All women deserve respect and rape is always wrong, but it doesn't always happen by the man who looks crazed and is homeless, iykwim.

Eta: this is all I'm going to say about this not cause I don't think it's something to discuss but further discussion can be pmed to me, Cathe seemed to make a statement about this not getting to much into sex.
 
I wear these kinds of clothes (short tops & mini skirts) when I go out at night. I wear them for 2 reasons:

1) b/c it makes me feel good
2) b/c the BF likes them

OF COURSE I would never wear this stuff to work. I dress very conservatively in work. Wrong or right, it's the only way I can be taken seriously.

I agree with Candi. Frankly the very idea that what a woman wears causes rape is unbelievably offensive to me. Does this mean I shouldn't wear a bikini at the beach? Or a bra top to the gym? I'm supposed to let the violent tendencies of disturbed, psychotic men dictate my attire? No way!
 
Maximus, wear what you want, I'm not trying to tell people what to do. There is a way to dress trashy and a way to dress attractive. I do know there is a differnce, and most people do as well. The point is attention asked for, and the level of that attention. We all know what I mean by that. Dress attire doesn't cause rape, but can lead to lustful thoughts. I'll just let it end there.
 
Poo on your relatives. If I was taller and had a longer waist, I would wear them. But with my short waist and big boobs, I look really funny in them.

I think that as long as you get your stomach back into shape after having your child, it's perfectly OK to wear the belly-baring tops. Who said moms have to be all uptight?

But there definitely has to be a line drawn. If you're dressing like Daisy Duke, and you're a mom, well you've got to rethink your wardrobe.
 
I'm just flabbergasted we've gone from belly baring tops to sex and rape. I think that's quite a leap. Sheesh!

I will stop here also.
 
Well, bananas can lead to lustful thoughts, as can trains & tunnels, as can a lollipop or ice cream cone. Doesn't mean they're trashy or inappropriate.

I don't wear those clothes b/c I'm looking for attention. I wear them b/c I feel good in them.
 
Never was meant to be a personal attack on you Maximus and I'm sorry you took it that way, but it was another perspective - take it or leave it.
 
JulieL,

I'd like to add something as I read your message again and was surprised that you kept talking about our generation gap. I was almost raped at 17 walking from the store buying a gallon milk for my baby brother. I was fully clothed and had a coat on. The person responsible for the attack was about the same age as me. I did nothing to prompt his attack that I know of. Maybe my pea coat was sexier than I thought x( but I sure stopped it when that gallon of milk hit him in the head. So yes, rape did occur in the dark ages. Probably reported a lot less.

Now I'm done, really
:)
 
If it makes you feel good about yourself, then go for it. I am all for anything that makes you feel better about yourself. Whether it's showing your belly, getting plastic surgery, etc. If I had the money I would get a boob job in a second. Not to get others attention, but because it would make me feel better about how I look. And with that comes more confidence. It's amazing what a little self confidence can do.

Katie
 
I am in the minority here. Some say belly shirts are NEVER appropriate, no matter how gorgeous your abs are. I am not a prude. I am all for looking sexy. People can still tell you have a fabulous figure without wearing belly shirts. In my opinion belly shirts are for Britney Spears and other celebrities in this category. I think it looks trashy, unless you are 16 and on a cover of an album. It's a little tarty, a little white bread if you ask me. So overdone! People will know you have fab abs when you wear your swimsuit or workout wear, and probably in nice form fitting tops that cover your belly.

This is a fitness site, many people on this board have fabulous abs, I don't. I wouldn't wear belly shirts if I did. As you get older, it's the mutton dressed as lamb look, and it is so unflattering. I think you can still look stylish and sexy without wearing tops to show your midriff.

Lori
 
Even if I looked good in belly shirts (which I don't) and really wanted to wear them (which I have to admit I do) I can't because I don't let my nine year old daughter wear them and have told her they are inappropriate. Gotta walk the talk!!

--Lois
 
JulieL, i have to say that i agree with you. when you are talking about date-rape a lot of the time younger boys don't have the control or the desire to stop themselves, i also think that a lot of younger girls get into these situations and don't know how to say no. i am absolutely tired of "low rise" pants (i call them butt-crack pants) and bikini tops being worn at the malls, in restaurants and being called fashion. sexy is an attitude, not a way of dressing. absolutely be proud of your body and the work you put into it, but also show some respect for yourself and the people that are around you.
"It matters more what's on a woman's face than what's on it."
Claudette Colbert;-)
 
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