Bat Mitzvah guidance needed

[martwad]

My daughter has been invited to her friend's Bat Mitzvah. Is money an appropriate gift? Any other tips or recommendations would be appreciated. Thanks!

 

[LauraMax]

Money is the MOST appropriate gift! LOL!

No other tips. It's really just a big party, similar to a wedding reception except there's only one guest of honor & she's a bit younger than your typical bride. But just as self-important, if not more so. ;-)

 

[jodijodi]

Money is a good gift, or pretty much anything that your daughter would like is appropriate. A couple of ideas: jewelry (whatever fits your price range), a "nice" book like a special edition of an author she might like (we got my niece a leather bound version of Lord of the Rings, and her brother the complete Far Side collection, plus some cash). I've bought small mp3 players for bat mitzvah gifts, which have gone over well in the past, but most kids seem to have them by now. I got my next door neighbor's daughter a point and shoot digital camera. A couple of years earlier we got her older sister an artsy necklace with matching earrings. (She had recently had her ears pierced, and she liked them so much she actually wore them for the bat mitzvah ceremony itself!)

We like to give something a little longer-lasting than the typical birthday gift, but anything in your price range is fine. For people we don't know so well, we usually spend between $25-50, for closer friends and relatives we'll spend more.

Hope that helps!

 

[hedygs]

If you give money, multiples of $18 are always nice. Not sure how close they are but for my son's Bar Mitzvah we received lots of $36 checks. The number 18 is equivalent to the letter "chai" in the Hebrew alphabet. Chai means life and is a special number/letter for that reason.

 

[endorphin_junkie]

I love this!! My 13 year old daughter Faith and I just received an invitation to a Bat Mitzvah at the end of May. I love the multiples of 18 idea, practical and meaningful! What could be better

Take Care
Laurie

 

[nancy324]

It's funny, when we're invited to a bar or bat mitzvah, the only question my DH and I ask each other is "how much"? I agree that money is the best gift.

We're going to the bat mitzvah of a cousin's daughter later this year, and we consulted with my DH's all-knowing sister as to how much to give. Frankly, I almost keeled over when I heard the "going rates" these days. But then my DH's sister lives in New York, and the bat mitzvah girl lives in Texas, so I'm considering ignoring the advice if DH doesn't overrule me.

 

[martwad]

My daughter is telling me she is supposed to bring soft candy to throw at the Bat Mitzvah girl!!! Is that true? Also, is the actual ceremony just for family? I'm not sure if we are supposed to go to the ceremony or just the party! Thanks for all the great advice so far. Keep it coming!

 

[jodijodi]

Usually the family provides the soft candy to throw, like individually wrapped marshmallows. I've never heard of guests providing their own.

And yes, you should go to the ceremony. It's what the whole event is supposed to be about. The Bat Mitzvah girl has worked very hard to learn her prayers and Torah portion. She will be leading a large portion of the service. Even though you and your daughter won't understand all of what is going on, you will be able to appreciate the time and commitment she has had to put into it, and then afterwards you can tell her "Mazel tov" (congratulations, although it literally means "good luck") and tell her what a great job she did! You may want to warn your daughter that it may seem boring, but it really is an important accomplishment for her friend.

Then go have fun at the party!!:7

 

[nancy324]

Soft candy throwing??? Never heard of it.

 

[pwmatt]

I agree that money is the best gift, but I can still remember some of the actual gifts that I got - oh so many years ago! So, it would be a good thing to pick up a piece of jewelry or a book - anything that the bat mitvah girl will remember you for!

Have fun!
Phyllis
I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing

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[deanie]

I agree, money in multiples of $18.00 is the best gift from a friend.
I would think you would go to the bat mitzvah and the reception unless the invitation states the reception only. Like Jodi said, the child has worked hard to learn her Torah and Haftorah portions, and that is truely what the bat mitzvah is about. ( a word to the wise: if it is a conservative service, you may not want to go at 9 am, but find out when the Torah service starts and come about half an hour ahead of that- services are about 3 1/2ish hours long. That is what we are recommending to my sons friends)

Nancy~ soft candy throwing is for sweetness.--sweetness in the bar/bat mitzvah childs life.

Deanie

 

[jodijodi]

Good point Deanie! You don't have to go for the whole thing.

Like Phyllis said, I still have some gifts from my Bat Mitzvah too: some jewelry, two wooden jewelry boxes, a few nice prayer books. I still keep my jewelry in the jewelry boxes! But of course money is good too

 

[martwad]

Thank you all so much! My daughter and I are really excited!