Baby after 35, maybe new job...

W

Winter

Cathlete
Hi Everyone,

I am really stressing out about a few things and am really scared.

I am applying for a new job at the college teaching so I would have summers off. I have a very good chance at getting the job.

I will be 36 in September and want to have children. 2 actually.

I am really scared about getting pregnant at this age or even if I wanted to wait until after my first year teaching as I think it will be stressfull. If I did that I would get pregnant at 37, and then again sometime at 38 or 39 if it is easier for me to even get pregnant.

Can I wait? Are the risk that much more if I wait one more year? Anyone have children at that age that can help ease my mind. I feel like crying....I am scared I waited too long.

Thanks for your support,

Winter
 
I'm no expert. The risk of birth defects are higher in "older " women, but I've known plenty of women who have started families in their late 30's and early forties with no problems at all. Good luck!
Lorrie
 
I have many friends who didn't start having kids until their late 30's. One of them is having her second in a few months, and she'll be 44. Hey, it makes me feel like taking a nap just thinking about it, but if she wants to have a kid graduating high school when she's in her 60's, more power to her.

Talk to your doctor, read some articles, but it's being done all the time.

Good luck.
 
I had my first 1 month shy of 41. She's perfect, and keeps me on my toes. It certainly wasn't without some concern, as my Doc was very clear about the increased risks, and was careful to monitor my pregnancy very closely. I think individual health, habits and diet are as much of a factor, if not more, than age. But, JMHO

My sister was 39 when she had her 2nd, and I have several friends who are 40 something moms as well.

Good Luck!!;)
 
I'm 48 years old and have a 6 year old daughter. I was monitored a little more closely by my MD and, since the pregnancy was considered high risk because of my age, I had an amniocentesis to make sure all was well.

As for being harder to get pregnant at 42, well, she was a big suprise! A very lovely one!!
 
I am glad you posted this because I have been stressing myself. I will be 35 next month and do not have any children. I waited so long to find the right person and I finally did I just know we probably won't get married for another year. I really did not want to wait this long, but there is a reason for everything right? I would say not to worry about it,we are still young and I know many people who are having children later.Good luck with everything!!!
 
Hi there!

Well, this topic is very near and dear to my heart because I just had my first baby at 37 (she's now 18 months old) and is smart, healthy, and happy and a total blessing to my husband and I (he's 53.)

Yes, there are some increased risks of Down's syndrome the older the mother's maternal age is, but I look at like this: Pregnancy in itself is a risk. Life is a risk. There are no guarantees, no matter how old you are, how good of shape you are in, etc. We decided that despite the fact we are older, we were willing to take that chance and accept whatever baby we were blessed with.

Now, if you do decide to have a baby, being in shape is going to help you bounce back faster and keep up with your baby being an "advanced maternal age mother." :)

Now I have decided that my daughter will be an only child, simply due to the fact that my husband is quite a bit older and we didn't want to have child number two start kindergarten when he was 60, LOL.

But do we love being parents? YOU BET. This is the most fufilled and happiest we've ever been as a couple and we just adore our little girl to pieces.

Please feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you want to talk about this some more--I totally understand your fears and where you are.

Best of luck to you no matter what you decide!!
 
My mom had me at 40. Out of all 4 kids, she said I was the most fun. :7

*thinks back and wonders if Mom was being sarcastic* Heeeeyyyy...
 
I have known a good number of ladies who have had children near or after 40, including my SIL's.

No problems with any of them.

I would say that they better you take care of yourself not only nutritionally and with exercise, and also try to keep as much stress at bay as possible, you should be fine.

As I told my 19YO DD the other day, older parents have learned how to be patient more than younger ones sometimes.

Can't believe the patience I have with all my employees who are adults! }( Yes, HR is definitely akin to babysitting or having small children !

Best of luck with whatever you decide.
 
Thank you guys so much. It comforts me to read all the posts.

I am going to have to keep the worry out of my mind when I do get pregnant.

A younger lady in her 20's was here visiting her mom at work today with a very little one. The baby was born with her heart on the wrong side and it is rotated a bit. The baby will be fine. Your right that pregnancy is a risk no matter the age. It still seems very weird to me to grow a baby inside my body.......

Way cool.

Thanks again,
Winter
 
I concieved a child with down syndrome when I was 32--the risk was pretty low at that age. He is our 4th child and I am so God gave him to us. We have since gone on to have two more healthy children and I am expecting my 7th at age 40. I didn't have any genetic testing done, but the ultrasound looked normal.

You are right--difficulties can happen at any age and as my dh always reminds me, a child born healthy is not guaranteed a healthy life--not to be a downer or anything.

I say go for it and do not fret about it:)

Maggie:)
 
My hubby is 15 years my senior (looks like Harrison Ford with dark hair) - and had 2 grown from his first marriage....then had two with me.....the good part he says is that his career "thing" was in the downward mode...he was 45 when our first was born, 50 when our second came....and he had lots more time with them, didn't sweat the small stuff and had tons more fun in the moment....the down side is that he says he knows tragedy is indiscriminant, something he didn't realize in his 20's, the first time around, and everytime the kids buzz out of the house on their bikes, or roller blades, he says a prayer...the worry factor is higher......I can tell you that today's bread winner is workin awfully hard....my hubby took early retirement, works 8 hours as a golfer (assistant pro, basically works for golf, the pay is that low!), then plays golf in the southern heat, then comes home, pops a cold one and is about to crash, when our 11 year old pops in,"hey Dad, wanna throw the football?", and out he goes to play ball, the other dads aren't home yet......so....as for me, I was 29 with the first, 35 with the second, more established, calmer, and a better mom and better inside of ME at that age....

Could've gone for a third UNTIL 43 - then and abrupt change...started liking sleep more than having more kids.....

Go for it....the risk is not terrible with pre natal nutrition - I worked NICU - and the over 35 moms were the best ones - not that the 20 somethings were bad, but over35, there is more maturity and perspective....maturity of the frontal lobe occurs between 35 and 40 - insight, wisdom, etc comes to full flower....you'll be a great mom!!!!!
 
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