Are you surviving your teenager?

[dorothyrd]

>*Drags case of wine to forum and starts handing out glasses*
>Oh I'm so here with y'all!!! We took our two girls (13 and
>17) to Hawaii. One would think they would be SOMEWHAT
>appreciative, wouldn't one? The first day there, I'm all
>excited because I signed us up for all of these cool
>activities. Their reaction, "Okay. What's for breakfast?"
>Okay, okay, they did get better, but DH was threatening to
>never, ever, ever (ever, ever...) take them anywhere again.
>Oh he was ticked. It didn't help that DD13 had a raging case
>of PMS the night we went to an expensive restaurant and acted
>like a 2 yo.
>
>I do have to laugh because I do remember what it was like to
>be 16/17, and I know what stupid things we used to do. My 17
>yo claims I know EVERYTHING that goes on in the house and that
>they cannot get away with ANYTHING! Now, I know that's not
>true, but I like that they think it is!
>
>There are times when I'm tempted to just lock 'em in their
>rooms and not let them out until they're 25. But when they
>are acting human, they're pretty okay, so I do let them out
>every now and again...

We went to San Francisco as part of a band trip for brother's band. I was really afraid how my 13 year old daughter would be. It turned out I had nothing to fear. She was not her usual self and we had a good time.....and the 2 weeks after we got back...I think she got possessed and was worse than usual. Still she is a good kid, and it shows sometimes.

 

[robyn6002]

unlike most, I loved the teen years. My DD is now 20 and my son is 17. So it's not like I'm new to this scene.

In our town (honestly) it's a cool thing for daughters to get a long with their Moms. I'm not kidding.

We are extremely close and I think it may be because we are such a small family.

I loved it when they became more adult like and we could have really adult conversations about values etc.

We all like sports so have that in common and had some amazing family vacations out west, national parks, hiking, river rafting, kyaking.


Great advice stay involved let them know you love them and be the parent.

The kids that have had major issues are the ones where the parent's were too busy with their own lives or the ones and starting YOUNG encouraged the kids to be 8 going on 13 etc! Also a lot of these same parents encouraged the dating as young as 5th grade and without a doubt those were the kids doing all sort of stuff too young.

also KEEP TALKING to them. The best time I found was on car rides to their activity. Sometimes just listen.

Good luck! Teenagers can be the best time.

Also try to encourage community service - we volunteered together and now my DD is involved in Habitat for Humanity and circle K. She is even thinking about Peace Corps.

 

[nancy324]

Erica,
I just love your responses to your kids! Brilliant stuff.

Regarding your friend's daughter, I think your friend probably made the same mistake my parents made. They were too liberal for too long and I always knew that I would ultimatly get my way. So at those times they decided to get tough, it would get really nasty because I wasn't used to it, and didn't really believe them anyway. Parents need to set clear boundaries and the rules need to be non-negotiable. That way a kid can learn what the limits are and be more in control of herself.

-Nancy

 

[gettingstrong]

Man, I am really lol at these posts. I have a ds that will be 16 in Sept. He is pretty good. Although. I laughed at the "angry" post. I told him the other day that now I know where the "angry young man" expression comes from. He has some older friends and would like to go around in cars with them and I won't allow it. I do take him to his girlfriends house and let her drive to the movies with him. I make sure all his time is accounted for! He thinks I am being ridiculous, they are all safe drivers, etc. Funny, his girlfriend wrecked her car Fri.

Now my 13 dd is another story. Our relationship is changing, mostly improving as we now go shopping for clothes, etc together. But, man talk about moods. And she has gotten in the habit of giving me a little one liner comment everytime I say something - making fun of me. That IS GOING TO STOP if she ever wants me to buy her a new shirt again! Marnie