icklemoley
Cathlete
Ok...so days have past but hurt is still high.
Yesterday i got an e-mail from him saying blah, blah, blah...he's in a self-help mode (i need to love myself, etc...). Now i'm all for loving yourself, and i agree, it's needed, but he said " It wouldn't have mattered how much affirmation was given from you, i need to love me frist". And then "i'm taking responsibilty for my happiness now and not dragging someone else through my mess".
Now, perhaps this is just me but...that really hurt me. For months i was telling him that his problems are his own, and that though i'm here for him (was) they weren't my fault or mine to fix. And he shouldn't be bringing me down with them...and he did. ALl the time. Everythign problem was my problem and mine to fix or reassure him. To know that i put in 110% and to be told that it makes no difference because he didn't love himself is hurtful. I might as well have given 50% and it would have had the same outcome.
Still, the whole thing is my fault, and because i don't wnat to be friends with him he is now angry and hateful towards me. His lies about me and my friend are just that, plus he's still lying abotu how thigns eneded and now to be told that he "needs to love him" first and thats why nothing i did was good enough. Its just all too much for me. The whole thing has left me with a bad, bad taste in my mouth. I'm angry as hell, not because i want him back (which i think he thinks) but because i haven't had my say. I kept quiet. And now i'm wanting to speak. E-mail and say my bit...Help me. I'm so, so angry and hate the way i've been treated and hate, hate, hate how he looks and how i look.
Yesterday i got an e-mail from him saying blah, blah, blah...he's in a self-help mode (i need to love myself, etc...). Now i'm all for loving yourself, and i agree, it's needed, but he said " It wouldn't have mattered how much affirmation was given from you, i need to love me frist". And then "i'm taking responsibilty for my happiness now and not dragging someone else through my mess".
Now, perhaps this is just me but...that really hurt me. For months i was telling him that his problems are his own, and that though i'm here for him (was) they weren't my fault or mine to fix. And he shouldn't be bringing me down with them...and he did. ALl the time. Everythign problem was my problem and mine to fix or reassure him. To know that i put in 110% and to be told that it makes no difference because he didn't love himself is hurtful. I might as well have given 50% and it would have had the same outcome.
Still, the whole thing is my fault, and because i don't wnat to be friends with him he is now angry and hateful towards me. His lies about me and my friend are just that, plus he's still lying abotu how thigns eneded and now to be told that he "needs to love him" first and thats why nothing i did was good enough. Its just all too much for me. The whole thing has left me with a bad, bad taste in my mouth. I'm angry as hell, not because i want him back (which i think he thinks) but because i haven't had my say. I kept quiet. And now i'm wanting to speak. E-mail and say my bit...Help me. I'm so, so angry and hate the way i've been treated and hate, hate, hate how he looks and how i look.
