<--and in the end, the love you take is equal to...

<--found this on the TLAP website
<--thought some of us could use some lessons

The basics
Pirate lingo is rich and complicated, sort of like a good stew. There are several other sites that offer glossaries that are pretty good, and you can find some of them on our links page.

But if you just want a quick fix, a surface gloss, a "pirate patina," if you will, here are the five basic words that you cannot live without. Master them, and you can face Talk Like a Pirate Day with a smile on your face and a parrot on your shoulder, if that's your thing.

Ahoy! - "Hello!"

Avast! - Stop and give attention. It can be used in a sense of surprise, "Whoa! Get a load of that!" which today makes it more of a "Check it out" or "No way!" or "Get off!"

Aye! - "Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did."

Aye aye! - "I'll get right on that sir, as soon as my break is over."

Arrr! - This one is often confused with arrrgh, which is of course the sound you make when you sit on a belaying pin. "Arrr!" can mean, variously, "yes," "I agree," "I'm happy," "I'm enjoying this beer," "My team is going to win it all," "I saw that television show, it sucked!" and "That was a clever remark you or I just made." And those are just a few of the myriad possibilities of Arrr!

Advanced pirate lingo; or On beyond “Aarrr!”
Once you've mastered the basics, you're ready to start expanding your pirate vocabulary. Try these for starters

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed. You’ll be surprised how effective this is.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. On TLAP Day – A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.

Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it? On TLAP Day – When dinner is served you’ll make quite an impression when you say, “Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren’t prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won’t stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor’s water ration – to kill the rancid taste. On TLAP Day – Drink up, me hearties! And call whatever you’re drinking grog if you want to. If some prissy pedant purses his lips and protests the word grog can only be used if drinking rum and water, not the Singapore Sling you’re holding, keelhaul him!

Hornpipe – Both a single-reeded musical instrument sailors often had aboard ship, and a spirited dance that sailors do. On TLAP Day – We are not big fans of the capering, it’s not our favorite art form, if you will, so we don’t have a lot to say on the subject, other than to observe that the common term for being filled with lust is “horny,” and hornpipe then has some comical possibilities. “Is that a hornpipe in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me? Or both?”

Lubber – (or land lubber) This is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. On TLAP Day – More likely than not, you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if you’re talking like a pirate! Then the word lubber becomes one of the more fierce weapons in your arsenal of piratical lingo. In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is ALWAYS an insult.

Smartly – Do something quickly. On TLAP Day – “Smartly, me lass,” you might say when sending the bar maid off for another round. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer.

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day
(We came up with these in an effort to interest The Other Dave (Letterman) in TLAPD. His staff liked 'em, but alas, his show was"dark" the week of Sept. 19.)

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Bonus pickup lines (when the ones above don't work, as they often won't)
They don’t call me Long John because my head is so big.

You’re drinking a Salty Dog? How’d you like to try the real thing?

Wanna shiver me timbers?

I’ve sailed the seven seas, and you’re the sleekest schooner I’ve ever sighted.

Brwaack! Polly want a cracker? … Oh, wait. That’s for Talk Like a PARROT Day.

That’s the finest pirate booty I’ve ever laid eyes on.

Let's get together and haul some keel.

That’s some treasure chest you’ve got there.

Top Ten Pickup Lines for the Lady Pirates

By popular demand ...

10. What are YOU doing here?

9. Is that a belayin' pin in yer britches, or are ye ... (this one is never completed)

8. Come show me how ye bury yer treasure, lad!

7. So, tell me, why do they call ye, "Cap'n Feathersword?"

6. That's quite a cutlass ye got thar, what ye need is a good scabbard!

5. Aye, I guarantee ye, I've had a twenty percent decrease in me "lice ratio!"

4. I've crushed seventeen men's skulls between me thighs!

3. C'mon, lad, shiver me timbers!

2. RAMMING SPEED!

...and the number one Female Pirate Pick-up Line:

1. You. Pants Off. Now!
 
<--- arrives late & sees that everyone has been very chatty already this morning
<--- skimmed ^^^ but won't attempt personals at this point;)
<--- just wants to say that Robin's new avatar is uber cool!
<--- discovered last night that <---'s poison ivy is coming back in the really bad spot
<--- says it's been almost 2 1/2 weeks & almost finished with meds
<--- called the doctor & will be going back at 3 this afternoon
<--- did sleep better last night, thank goodness
<--- just wants to send positive vibes & (((HUGS))) wherever they are needed
<--- loves all the TLAP stuff & LOL at the latest post!:7
<--- wishes everyone a wonderful Wednesday
<--- will try to BBL if possible:)
 
<--- would've used a lot of bad words if she were in Lorie's shoes over the weekend
<--- is glad things worked out in Lorie's favor in the end
<--- {{{{{Melissa}}}}} <--- is so sorry that you've been sick, but she's awfully happy you're back
<--- is ROTFLHAO at the Top Ten Pickup Lines used on TLAP Day
<--- is really sorry about Kel's Poison Ivy and hopes she can get rid of it once and for all
<--- needs to extricate her butt from this chair NOW
 
<--hasn't read ^^^^
<--can't believe that it's this long already!!!
<--is finishing up coffee before heading out to run errands and hit the gym for heavy lifting
<--hopes that no old ladies cut into <--'s set this week!x(
<--is LOLing at kitty antics this morning!
<--loves the TLAP pick up lines!
<--hopes that Kel's poison ivy gets better FAST!!!
<--tootles!
 
<--tells mich that <--was in such a state of shock over the whole thing that <--probably couldn't even think if any bad words!!!
 
<--- thinks maybe we need a TLATD Day (Talk Like a Truck Driver)}( :p
<--- wants to thank Ame for the crockpot apple cobbler recipe and plans to make it this week
<--- 's DH's birthday is Friday and she has no clue what to get him
<--- is askeered that he'll want to go to the MMGHH again;(
 
<--Felt it necessary to let all of you guys know how funny you all are.
<--LOL
<--In GREAT mood because 2yrold DS (whom from now on I'll refer to as Henry) did GREAT at dentist. No crying, no cavities!!!
<--Has the best DS in whole world
<--of course, is partial
<--was informed, however, by dentist that we must ditch the Bappy (pacifier). UGH!!!
<--thinks that Lorie handled dissertation drama very well
<--would still be reeling from all of the excitement/anxiety
<--wonders what Lorie's dissertation is about (what field?)
<--is sorry Ev's pirawhatchamacallit is hurting
<--Thinks Robin's pirate toy story is hilarious!
 
<--- gives Henry a high five for being so good at the dentist!
<--- loves the name Henry
<--- will share a little secret about Sophie - she's almost 10 and still sometimes sucks her thumb :eek:
<--- thinks a soother is easier to get rid of than a thumb:p
<--- is now starting to have the spins while sitting
<--- thinks the drive home will be very interesting
 
<--Wonders what the spins are and hopes Shelley is feeling better soon!
<--Also thinks a bappy will be easier to get rid of than a thumb :)
<--Likes "old man" names.
<--named other son, Oliver
<--Really likes the name Sophie too because it's timeless.
<--Cannot wait for fall
<--Visited Walmart (what can I say, I'm from the south, it's what we do -- leave me alone!)
<--Bought "apple cider" candle that smells like fall in a jar mmmmmmm
<--LOVES fall
<--Cannot wait for Halloween
<--mulling over costume ideas for self
 
<---tells Stephanie that Halloween is her favorite holiday!
<---will have to start dragging out some decorations now :)
<---wants to dress the weiners up in Star Wars themed costumes http://bestsmileys.com/scifi/18.gif
Dakota - Darth Weinie
Montana - Luke or Yoda
Cheyenne - Leia in her slave girl outfit
 
<--- tells Stephanie that every time <--- moves, the room spins
<--- loves the name Oliver too
<--- doesn't think those are old man names!
<--- thinks Gus and Stan are old man names
<--- often visits Walmart
<--- thinks an apple cider candle sounds scrumptious
<--- is shocked that Liann has nothing to say
<--- doesn't dress up for Hallowe'en
 
<--Is totally obnocious holiday celebrater
<--Even owns a Christmas sweater complete with pompom snowmen on it
<--Will eventually embarass children with all-holiday cheer
<--Is writing down the name "Gus," for future reference. Love it!
<--is worried that Shelley is dizzy (physically, not mentally :)
<--Hopes she regains her equilibrium (sp?) soon
<--Must go fix lunch for King Henry
<--bids you all a fabulous afternoon!!
 

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