Am I being too sensitive??

delfin

delfin

Cathlete
My youngest DD, 3rd grade, had a playdate with a girl from what appears to be a very wealthy family judging from the house where I picked her up. The thing is, when I rang the doorbell, a disembodied voice inquired as to my business, obviously some kind of intercom system. When I replied that I was there to pick up my DD, I was buzzed in, and my DD came down the stairwell to greet me.

Here's my rant. There was NO ADULT at the door to greet me, meet me (1st playdate they had), tell me how the afternoon went, nothing. I simply got my daughter, turned around, and left. I've never had that experience before. If there is no parent to greet me at the door, usually there is a babysitter... someone!! It felt really weird to me.... so am I being too sensitive here?
 
well to me no, i think you are just being a parent, acting like most parents would. i would want to meet everybody so I know who my children are around and what they are like. has your daughter told you anything?? it does sound weird to me

kassia

http://www.picturetrail.com/ldy_solana

"And do what thee wilt as long as ye harm none"
 
Okay, that's just bizarre. Who doesn't come out to meet the parent of the child their child has been playing with?
 
No, I always meet the parents of the children that my son plays with. That is just wierd that they didn't even seem to care whether they met you or not. I'm just saying that the parents seem strange, not that they are doing anything to you DD in an in approprate way. Where the parents home? Or was it a babysitter that was watching your DD? Because if it was a babysitter, then, maybe it's not too strange. But then again, maybe I'm in the minority that I want to meet the parents of the children that my son is playing with. But I don't think so.
Whether you should allow your DD to go over there again, yeah, I'd probably allow her to. But first I would be sure to call the parents and at least introduce yourself, if you haven't already done that. Maybe I wouldn't let her spend the night though without getting to know them a bit more. But going over there for a few hours should be ok.
Man, now my mind is wondering onto other factors though. Do they have a pool? Do they have any idea what the kids are doing while they play? These are things that I would be asking, and just making sure that the parents are at least paying attention to the children. Because you know kids, they will get into everything if given the chance. And a pool can be very dangerous, whether dd knows how to swim or not.
Just my POV.

Kathy
 
That is very weird to me, money or not. Common courtesy is common courtesty. I don't think I'd necessarily be mad, but I would be somewhat irritated. I think it's nice to meet & greet who are kids play with, but I guess not everyone is of the same mindset. Nothing seems to surprise me these days about people.

Maybe if the girl comes to play at your house and an adult comes to pick her up, stand behind the door and say "state your business". Then, have a pet escort her out :p


Debbie


Calvin: I'm a genius, but I'm a misunderstood genius.
Hobbes: What's misunderstood about you?
Calvin: Nobody thinks I'm a genius.
 
That is totally weird. I personally won't let my kids on a play date, if I am not there to meet the parent. The way I look at it, we are a package deal. Some may consider me too protective, but in this world I feel that you can't be too careful. My children are younger than your daughter, but I would have a problem picking her up, and no body around. Did you question your daughter? You are definitely not to sensitive!
Ann Marie
 
No, you are definitely not being to sensitive! My 3 kids are all older. I NEVER experienced such a thing!! The parent(s) always came to say hello.
bhappy
 
No, that is very weird and I wouldn't be comfortable with them at all. First because how do you know how well they are supervising your child and second, it's just rude.

If you child wants to go over there again I would ensure that you are able to meet the parent or else have the friend come to your house.

I would liken this to having your child go on a date without having the guy come in and meet you and get the once over and grill him a bit.
 
No your not being too sensetive. You my dear are right on target. The adult home that day should have greeted you. That is courtesy and proper etiquette.
 
I'd like to add that when I asked my DD how the playdate went, she proceeded to tell me that they have 6 flat-screen TVs and the master bath's shower has music piped in. I guess she got the tour.
 
I think you have a right to be upset. I would be and I tend to let lots of stuff roll off my back. I would certainly want to meet the parents the first time. Beyond that, it's just a totally rude and anti-social thing to do...

It's almost like they were saying: We are too goood to speak to you so take your daughter and go away.

People like that make me sick! ACK!x(
 
Was the voice that of Darth Vader?
Common courtesy issue yes indeedy...hell...it's just plain creepy to boot.
 
You are absolutely not too sensitive - you are a caring, responsible parent. Next time your DD wants a playdate I would insist on a face to face with a parent. As a parent you need to know that your child is being supervised when she is at a friend's house. I still insist on meeting the parents of my DD's friends and she is 14.

Claude

"Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Satchel Paige
 
To me, the bigger issue is what is the friend like? If her parents are uninvolved materialistic clods, what is the child like and how do I feel about her influence in my dds life? Or maybe this was just an isolated incident and you will eventually find out that things are not as they seemed at first. But I would have been taken aback at not even being greeted after a first time play date, too.
 
I also think it's very weird.
Sounds almost like you were treated like a delivery person, or some hired help, and they couldn't deign to talk to you in person.
 
I don't even have kids, but I think it's very weird. Someone should have brought your daughter to the door at least. She shouldn't have to wonder the house by herself.

Next time, try walking off with some of the family heirlooms. I bet you'll see an adult real fast then (of course he might be dressed in blue and carry a badge).

Shelbygirl
 
I would react in the same manner as yourself. To me the lack of parental interaction demonstrates indifference to my child and myself, and plain rudeness to the collecting parent, and it has noting to do with economic disparity, rather total lack of caring and courtesy. I never do this. It would make me un-keen for my child to make a return visit and before she did so I would want to meet the parent and know for myself that this was someone trustworthy. I mean, the fact that your daughter was left to let herself out makes you wonder if:

--the parent had any idea my daughter was in the house?
--if anything untoward should have happened, would a parent have been in the know and quick to respond to look after my child?

So, to conclude, you were not being "too" anything, rather you were being a responsible parent and sensitive to your child's needs and safety.

Continue to trust your instincts like this, that's what I'd do,

Clare
 
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