Am I being stupid...

L

lov2bfit

Cathlete
I have been invited to two parties next weekend. One is a baby shower brunch for a friend of mine who is having her second baby, and the other is a birthday party for my friend's 2 year old daughter. I have nothing going on next weekend that would keep me from going, but I want to decline both invitations entirely for the reason that I don't want to be surrounded by all the bad food that's going to be there. Is that crazy???
My will power is okay, but my problem is self control. If I eat just a little then I will just cotinue to eat thinking that the day is already shot. I know that's not the way to think, but unfortunately I know this about myself. I feel bad because I should go, but I really don't want to. The one having the shower just had a birthday party 2 weekends ago for her 2 year old son and I ate like a COMPLETE pig. I am trying to reach my goal and I'm afraid that if I go I'm going to prolong getting there and I really don't want to do that.
Am I being stupid???

Katie
 
Well, if you were trying to give up, say, smoking, you wouldn't want to go to a place where you'd be tempted. I guess it's kind of the same thing. I don't think you're being stupid, not putting yourself in the path of all that food. On the other hand, would your friends be upset if you didn't go?
 
Stay home if you want to! You're NOT being stupid. No guilt trips, now, promise?

"It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt." Mark Twain ;-)
 
Katie...self control. When you get to the party(s) grab a glass of water and carry it with you where ever you go. When the cake and junk is offered you just decline and say you ate before you got there and you're not hungry. I don't eat all the crap at these parties either and it is rare that you'll see a fruit or a cheese offered. So I just go but don't eat and keep my glass of water with me so people aren't trying to push the ever-present punch on me either. My friends all know I don't eat all that crap so it's not a problem anyway.

Don't stay home just because you're afraid of the food. Take control of yourself and just say 'No'.

Have fun! There's nothing better in life then cuddling a newborn baby...whether it's yours or someone else's! :D :D :D
 
Do what you want! What is wrong with that? Who cares what others may think..what do you think? If that is going to be a bad situation for you then you shouldn't go. Your choice. I can go for you and say, "EW..EW..EW" over the food and make enemies. :p

ETA: Actually I am going to a funeral today. There will be plenty of desserts. Everyone will be too sad to care who eats what. No temptation for me. All that sugar and fat grosses me out.

Charlotte~~
 
Katie, I agree with 40something. And you can always eat at home before the party and then you won't be hungry once you get there. No guilt trip intended AT ALL, but how would you feel if the party were in your honor and your friends didn't come? Go ahead and go...if you're worried about it just tack an extra 20 minutes of cardio onto your work out. Have a little faith in yourself, girl!;)

Michele :)
 
Let me add...at my own bridal shower (19 years ago) my MIL & SIL knew I wouldn't eat cake so they brought strawberries and short cakes. That was fine, I just ate the strawberries and the other guests ate the mints and short cakes.
 
Katie, I think everyone has given you good, although varied, advice. Could you just show up at each, hand someone a gift and then leave because you have another committment? That way they could have their cake and you wouldn't have to eat it too.
 
I agree that you should go. You just can't hide forever. Deal with it and consider this as a practice. I love the idea of holding the water bottle. Better yet, do eat something before you go so you have little room for give in.

Good luck and have fun at the party.:7 :7
 
I also think self-control is a choice and a learned behavior, so maybe these can be opportunities for you to figure out what works for you. Personally, I'd work out and eat well before going (which lends itself to feeling good and healthy, making it less likely to indulge in party crap), then I'd bring mints or sugar free gum or something to keep in my mouth. I also like the water idea, since that might keep your hands busy and avoid those situations where people force stuff on you. ("Sorry, my hands are full!")

Not meaning to make you feel bad; I just don't think I'd personally want to live a life where I felt like I couldn't go anywhere, plus I know I'd be hurt if I had good friends who didn't show up at my events.

Good luck!!
Marie
 
I know that so many of you are right with having to show a little discipline and self control. I do it almost every day at work with all the junk people bring in, but for some reason in a situation like this it's always more difficult. Especially since these friends are the type that when you don't eat or only eat fruit they do the "Oh come on, just eat what you want." Not that I should let what they say bother me, but I hate having to answer to anyone for my choices.

I like the idea of carrying the water and chewing gum. My weekend workouts are always my longest and most intense, but I really need to be careful with my eating for the next couple weeks so these parties just came at a bad time.

Thanks for all the suggestions and advice. I will probably go and just do my best to be strong. I guess I just have to ask myself what is more important!

Katie
 
That's the spirit, Katie!!

When your well meaning friends are trying to push food onto you, you just say, "No thanks, I don't need all that sugar...or salt...or fat...depending on the food item they're pushing your way."

We've talked about this topic before...people who eat junk like to see other's eating their junk too. Think about it as if they were offering you to do heroine with them...would you say okay to that just because they wanted you to have it? No, certainly not.

Junk food is the same thing...just learn to say 'No'. Soon your friends will learn to respect your attitude and they'll stop pushing the junk food at you. Maybe they'll even start to offer some healthy choices at their parties.

:D :7 :D :7 :D
 
IMHO, I would not ditch the parties for that reason and if I were your friend(s) and found out that is why you didn't come, I would be a little upset about that. JMO though so please don't get upset. :) Obviously my view point is to go...eat before you leave and use these events as "practice" to avoid binging on the bad stuff. Don't miss events that you would otherwise go to just because of the food. Don't be afraid of it...or as Cathe says..."Embrace the challenge. Don't fear it!" ;)

HTH!:)
 
I think everyone has great ideas to help your self-control. I have exactly the same problem with home parties - maybe because it's new and different food many times? But for a different point of view, I know sometimes I go through really tough phases and don't want to take 2 steps back. If it's really that distressing, you could stay home. But don't stay home forever! At some point, things will get easier and you will have to learn to deal with these situations.
 
>IMHO, I would not ditch the parties for that reason and if I
>were your friend(s) and found out that is why you didn't come,
>I would be a little upset about that. JMO though so please
>don't get upset. :) Obviously my view point is to go...eat
>before you leave and use these events as "practice" to avoid
>binging on the bad stuff. Don't miss events that you would
>otherwise go to just because of the food. Don't be afraid of
>it...or as Cathe says..."Embrace the challenge. Don't fear
>it!" ;)
>
>HTH!:)

yeah, what she said ;)


"you miss 100% of the shots you never take"


Debbie
 
I personally don't think you are stupid but I think I might understand where you are coming from. Speaking for myself, I have become so conscious about about food that I am even more prone to stuff my face with the "bad" things. I try to keep my time minimum on this forum and related forums because I am tired of reading about "clean" eating and blood type diets and other fads. The more I admonish myself for not eating what the fit people claim to eat, squeaky clean (ie bland) food, the more I eat crap like chicken wings that I frankly don't even care for. I try to make choices I can live with and still attend such parties (ie act like a man because men aren't so hung up on body image, fad diets, and calorie counts) but I do agree...it is hard. Just remember to be good to yourself, enjoy your time with friends and enjoy your life and your health. Don't pass up good times for fear you may take a bite of chocolate cake.
 
I think what it all comes down to is doing our best and remembering that above all else-we need to ENJOY life!

Some folks here eat "squeaky clean" and some do not.

Some adhere to clean eating, some do weight watchers, some low carb and some maybe low fat.

Whatever the case and no matter how many time any of us "cheat" with our eating...as long as we know how to balance our healthy lifestyles without forgetting to LIVE then we are doing just fine!

Now go to those parties and ENJOY YOURSELF...chocolate cake or not!!!!:+ :+ :+
 
I totally agree with what Tigger and others have said in this post. In the past I have let my obsession with food (i.e. not eating too much of it) get in the way of my social life. I don't really think this is the healthiest thing in the world to do (at least for me). Now I use the tactics outlined here (H2O, gum, eating beforehand, and working out). Also, if something looks really good and I want it, I have it. Just a little piece, but I also try not to deprive myself too much.

Karin
 
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