a friend in need with excercise bulimia

[tina72382]

Hey all, I thought I'd ask for advice: my close friend recently confided in me that she has excercise bulimia (I sort of guessed by her being obsessive about the gym and working out) and she wants me to help her. I reccommended seeing a therapist to help her, but she seems to depend on me for support. I am so happy that she is confiding in me, BUT I am not sure about the best way to help her. I understand how serious the eating disorder is, and I am not qualified to help her get through it, but I have to be there for her. I look foward to your advice thanks, everyone.

 

[ruppie]

That's a tough one. It really shouldn't be on your shoulders, because it's a serious disease. It kind of isn't fair for her to put it all on you, but it IS a good sign that she is admitting her problem. It's the first step to a LONG road ahead, that honestly, you could be there for her, but you shouldn't be forced down it yourself because it can be very tough.
I would keep stressing the part about the therapist. Maybe sit her down and tell her you have been worrying about this since she has told you and that you're very concerned for her health. You could research and list for her the extreme damage that she is doing to her body. Sometimes people need a scare to finally face reaching out to a professional. Maybe gather some stories about ruptured esphoguses and heart attacks caused by electrolite imbalences (talk about tough love, right?)
If you can, look for some therapists in the area and send her the information. Tell her you will go with her the first time, but then the professional can take it from there, and you will feel better knowing she is in good hands.
Finally, don't just forget about it - a lot of people choose to ignore the problem because they don't want to deal with it. You SHOULDN'T have all this pressure on your shoulders, but DO remember to check in with her once in a while, ask her how she's doing with it and if she's getting better.

 

[tina72382]

thanks for the advice , ruppie. I was thinking along the same lines, and I am in a difficult situation. I just want her to know that I am there for her, but that other people can help her more than I could. I'll keep you updated

 

[tina72382]

thanks for the advice , ruppie. I was thinking along the same lines, and I am in a difficult situation. I just want her to know that I am there for her, but that other people can help her more than I could. I'll keep you updated

 

[jtlane25]

I would suggest sticking with the therapist idea. However, there is a really good book called "Hooked on Exercise" --How to Understand and Manage Exercise Addiction. By Rebecca Prussin, M.D, Philip Harvey, Ph.D., and Theresa Foy Digeronimo. Exercise Bulimia is very different from the typical bulimia disorder. The difference is...instead of forcing yourself to vomit after eating way too much food....you choose to exercise yourself to DEATH to burn the calories consumed on that binge. It is a tough disorder, however she needs to find things to do with herself during her down time. IN other words...finding a hobby that is not physically demanding would be a great outlet. Ideas to suggest to her may be sewing, knitting, painting, flower arranging, or something as simple as a coloring book. Usually, a person is lead to this kind of behavior is in fear of gaining weight possibly because of their own family history. Maybe she has a family of larger siblings and parents. I'm not sure the root here...but that is usually the case. Oddly, exercise bulimia is treated the same way as detoxification of drugs. You have to break the cycle and redirect your energy towards a less harmful 'habit' per say.

I know this is a very helpful book and it really helps you think of things from the inside out. This is a very helpful book. It has helped me deal with members in my classes that have suffered from this (I'm a fitness instructor).

Best of luck!

 

[ruppie]

Oh! Geez! I thought it that meant excessive excercise AND also bulemic food eating disorder. Sorry for advising without knowing the facts!!

 

[dss62467]

I guess the only thing you can do is listen to her and encourage her to seek professional help. This is really something that needs to be addressed by a counselor.

 

[Imafitnessfreak]

Donna, I just lookes at your album and you are so beautiful! Oh, and nice bicep! Looking good!

Sarah

 

[EricaH]

Donna - I agree with Sarah. You look awesome. Great pictures!

Erica

 

[dss62467]

Beautiful? Get out of town. Beautiful is Catherine Zeta Jones. I'm more like Jamie Lee Curtis with long hair. But thanks! I'll be smiling today!

 

[candi]

The only one that can truly help your friend is herself. One of the worst things you can do for her is to become a crutch. I know this sounds kind of insensitive but the truth of the matter is, it's like any other addiction.

This girl needs to see a counselor that specializes in eating disorders. By the way, just so you know, in the Counseling profession, you cannot be a person's Counselor and friend or family member. Because of a prior relationship, all objectivity is lost.

IMHO, if you feel you want to help, do so as a friend but stress to her that this is a deep rooted problem and she needs to see a therapist.

P.S. Just so you know, some people do not want to see a therapist because they know they will really be required to WORK at the situation. This is not easy.