Mothers-would you EVER say this?

It sounds like this woman suffers from generalized anxiety disorder (takes one to know one). I would suggest she see a professional therapist to discuss this possibility. If she has generalized anxiety, she will suffer from all kinds of "ailments" when nothing is wrong with her. She will also think her child is suffering from every sickness under the sun even though the child is healthy. And she most definitely will be stressed out enough to say such a thing about throwing her baby up against a wall to get her to shut up. It's just the way generalized anxiety manifests in her.

She needs to get this under control, or it will EAT HER ALIVE!!! Like I said, it takes one to know one. I, too, suffer from generalized anxiety, and it isn't easy to overcome and can take control of your whole life if you're not careful!
 
My son was collicky also as a baby. He was also sick constantly. It turned out he had enlarged adenoids and needed them and his tonsils removed. But before that any cold he'd catch would always turn into an infection...ear, sinus, bronchitis....etc. I would never, ever say or even think of such a thing. That sounds horrible. I agree, she may need to get some help.

I just saw a story on Brooke Shields. She had a severe case of post pardum depression and had thoughts of throwing her baby against the wall. She had to go get help for this. I definitely do not think it's normal to say something like that. It's horrible!
 
Maybe it's partially Munchausen's Syndrome by Proxy. She needs help. She may be trying to get attention at the expense of her kid. I don't have kids myself but her actions are a huge red flag!
 
My mother's friend recently had a baby after trying unsuccessfully for a long time. She made a similar comment about "banging the baby's head against the wall" to stop him from crying. This really freaked my mom out. Of course the woman would never do such a thing, thank god. I've never been a mother, but I suppose that sometimes new moms especially have irrational thoughts about things they would never act on.

Anyone catch Oprah today w/ Brooke Shields describing her postpartum depression? She thought some terrible things, more so about herself than her child, but I wonder if maybe your coworker might be going through something similar.
 
As a mom, I can honestly say there comes a point where you honestly think you can't handle it anymore. Even though in that minute, you may THINK you want to do something like that, you would never follow-through with it. Of course, I would never tell anybody that I had the thought. Since she is so young, she probably hasn't figured out what's best kept to yourself.

My daughter was colicky for the first couple months and it was brutal. There were a couple times where I had to go out to the yard and leave her crying in her crib. But then I'd feel so awful that I left her alone, I'd go back in and deal with it.
 
I see red flags all over...actually they started with saying all she ever wanted in life was to have a baby. I'm not sure why that doesn't sit well, it just doesn't. It sounds almost like she was expecting this baby to somehow make her life better...and that's a tall order for such a small package! She needs help. Red flag. Red flag!
 
This young lady is way immature and sounds like having a baby and being a mom was a fantasy that didn't turn out the way she wanted to far.
I feel for her, but I feel more for the helpless baby, hope she doesn't actually do something to this helpless little one.
She may need help.... Rhonda
 
>
>Becoming a new mother is very trying - you've just given
>birth, your hormones are whacked and the baby doesn't stop
>crying. you just want to sleep but can't! Its very
>difficult.
>


Tell me about it! And I had a very placcid baby boy but remember several occasions when I was so incredibly frustrated with Max I simply didn't know what to do.

Yes, I was very angry at times and due to sheer exhaustion and sleep-deprivation, imagined all sorts of things to shut my son up! But as you say, thinking and doing are 2 very different things. I had to, on a number of occasions, leave him in the cot, go into another room and just get away from the constant crying etc.. *sigh*

BUT my "baby" is now 2.5, almost out of nappies (yayy!!) and a joy to behold. To be honest, he has always been a joy. I have forgotten many of the frustrating moments - funny how that happens. At the time, it seems like the end of the world but it is really true that "this too will pass".
 
It's not uncommon that negative feelings arise and there's always the spectre of post partum depression over each new mother's head.

It sounds as if she is exhausted and frustrated. One of the things that new mother's never realize is that the joy and the miracle and the expectations are often quite different from the reality of new motherhood. I know I was completely prepared for the birth, which itself went awry and I ended up with a footling breech and a C section; but having a newborn is harder than one might think! My first was a very good baby and I was still as neurotic as can be over her and I had been around babies all my life. My pediatrician was very kind and patient with me.

I think new mothers are done a misservice by not being coached about the real difficulties that can come with newborns, like the sleep deprivation, anxiety and work that comes in such a tiny package. She's in need of guidance and hopefully has help and a good support system. A huge dose of sympathy and gentle reminders about the wonders might be helpful. I think she'll be fine and I don't think her baby is in danger. For many of the mother who might not have said it, there are plenty who thought it or something like it, probably mortified by that later. I still shudder at the thought of my third, Sam the sleepless wonder. And none of mine were great sleepers, ate on a two hours schedule and seemed to enjoy walking the floor more than being tucked into a crib.

I was always jealous (hated) the mothers who's newborns started sleeping through the night very early on. I never produced one of those types of babies. :)
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Mary Oliver
 
Bobbi,

I agree with everything you said about new mothers not really knowing totally what they're getting into. Discussing the difficulties of being a new mother isn't really socially acceptable. No one wants to peddle these facts to a pregnant woman.

What really concerns me with this one is the fact she's planning on getting pregnant again soon. A new baby will be twice as hard on her.
 
When I had my son - he's now five - I didn't sleep for probably 3 months. I had no help, my dh worked all the time managing a restaurant/bar that was open till 4am. I was miserable. I was scared of doing things wrong and that I'd permanently damage my son (mind you the things I worried aobut were things like is it wrong to hold him all the time or is it wrong to not pick him up right away.). I'd read way too many books all telling me different things.

Without sleep, it is tough. I did have thoughts that I was very ashamed of though I'd never say them nor would I act on them. I di da couple times place my ds in his crib and go in the other room to give myself a time out.

Anyway, I finally decided that I should bring up how I was feeling (tired, crazy, always yelling at dh for no real reason and a bit nutty about the baby. I swear I was scared toput that kid down. He didn't cry much but I carried him all the time, slept with him, ect.

I was given an RX for Zoloft and I can't begin to tell you the difference. I only wish I"d known earlier the differnece between tired andstressed out and depressed. I could have enjoyed my son so much more those early days.

He's five. He's still very much a momma's boy. :) I don't know that I'd be up for more children.

I really think this woman shouldn't be judged badly. I think she is reaching out for HELP. I think she should talk to her doctor. She is obviously having anxiety - all those dr. apptments worried about the baby, she is obviously tired, overwhelmed, ect. or that comment wouldn't have been made and the fact that she wanted a baby at a young age makes me think there might have been other issues too. So I think sharing honestly with her doctor would be best. There are medications, therapists, ect. There is help and I think that comment was a way of trying to get it. It's hard to just outright say "I'm having trouble coping and don't know what to do."

And when you are in it PPD makes you feel like a failure of a parent.
 
It can be so tough and when you are on your own, it's horrible. That's why I tell pregant women that to sleep when baby sleeps is the best peice of advice I ever found. Not trying to to be supermom and just saying okay, baby, here's, in my case, it was a breast, let's sleep. But I remember that kind of sleep deprivation as the worst and most exhausted of my life and the pressure to be perfect is always there as well as shame if it's not all sunshine and lollipop. But it isn't in many cases and I think the world has changed and too many young mother's don't have the support systems of having family around and someone who can come and give breaks when they are badly needed. I am insisting my daughters are close if and when they have my grandbabies, say, ten or fifteen years from now. And I'll take care of all of them. :) I used to be hellbent on taking care of everything myself and still have a hard time accepting help but I'll be the first person to offer it. We could really use a manual for this sort of thing. :)
Bobbi http://www.handykult.de/plaudersmilies.de/chicken.gif "Chick's rule!"

Tell me, what it is you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? Mary Oliver
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top