Missing my youth

S

SRP

Cathlete
I'm not even sure where to begin. I guess, by saying that I actually can't believe I'm posting something with this subject line, because there's nothing wrong with getting older, and I still have a very good life.

The stuff I have to say - I can say here and know that many of you will understand, because if you didn't love fitness and exercise, you wouldn't be here. My friends and family don't get it. :)

It boils down to two things: 1) I can't do what I used to, and I really, really miss it. And 2) I'm getting nervous that because I can't work out as hard now, "bad things" are going to start happening.

Some of you know that I have arthritis in my hands, and now I have it in my left big toe. I suspect it's starting in my ankles, too. I've had to make changes in the way I lift weights because of my hands, but for the most part I've managed to maintain. I've had to quit my beloved step workouts because of the toe, along with other high impact. I have an elliptical, and my heart and toe are quite happy with the high intensity I can get out of that thing. But ... sigh ... it screws up my knee. :( So now I'm going to cut out the elliptical, at least for a while, and see if I can fix that little problem. I was going to buy a knee brace and push on through, but I caught myself. No need in causing more damage if I know why it's happening.

So that leaves me with weight workouts - carefully managed. I don't do Cathe's anymore, because there's a certain rhythm I need to prevent stressing my hands. And I use lifting hooks, which makes Cathe's quick transitions close to impossible. And it leaves me with low impact, metabolic cardio, such as After Burn and Low Impact HiiT. And walking, of course. I guess it's enough to keep me fit. But I already miss the hard cardio. I love it. And the low impact stuff just doesn't get my heart rate up there, even though I know they're very good workouts. (By the way, I have several DVDs that need a good home ... what's the best way to sell these - any ideas? Nobody locally wants them.)

This is just a vent, and a final admission to myself that my prime days are over. I know what I have to do. I know I can't keep up the hard stuff, because I don't like hurting all the time. A few extra pounds or whatever is worth being able to sleep at night.

Fitness has been, and still is, an important and much loved part of my life. I'm grateful that I have the knowledge and skill to stay healthy, and make adjustments, etc., so that I can keep moving. Much of that is thanks to Cathe. But I am sad, because I feel that the best days - the funnest times - are over.

Oh man do I ever miss step. :(
 
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I understand how you feel and sometimes I feel the same way. I'm 57 years old and what helps me, is to realize that there are many women my age in bad shape, so I say to myself that at least I'm doing something to be as mobile and independent in my "senior" years ahead. I don't have children, nieces or nephews, etc. that can help when I'm 90 years old so doing whatever I can now will help as I get older. I think it's important to listen to your body and obey what it's telling you; just do what you can and doing something is always better than nothing at all. Adjusting our exercise programs as we get older and treat our bodies with the respect it deserves since it did put up with us when we did that high intensity (jumping!!!) workouts. Besides nutrition plays a huge part (it's probably much more important than exercise) in staying healthy, so definitely keep an eye on our nutrition as we get older is key. :) Believe me, I'm sure there are quite a few of us in this forum that have adjusted the workouts due to those aches and pains but they continue to move. Hope this helps a little. :)
 
workout said:
Adjusting our exercise programs as we get older and treat our bodies with the respect it deserves since it did put up with us when we did that high intensity (jumping!!!) workouts. :)
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Not only did our bodies put up with high intensity workout, there are lots of other things. For me, skiing, zooming down the mountain finding Hills to get air on. Numerous roller coasters. Oh what fun! We lived! We had a blast! Sure wish I was one of those older people that could still do those things. But, other life experiences (bad car accident when 5) predisposed me to dial it back in my 50's. I just wish someone would have warned me that it'd be this way. I'd feel more prepared vs let down.

One of the grieving steps is acceptance and in a way we are grieving for our youthful bodies. Like any grief we have to go through all the steps and we will emerge a more profound self.
 
I think we all experience those times when we are not embracing the aging process because honestly, sometimes it sucks! I went tent camping last night and boy, aches and pains galore! Hips, shoulders, etc. I don't have arthritis, so I can't speak to that, but I do have a kidney condition that is progressively worsening and causes me to have to take time off from my beloved workouts. I'm going to be 60 in January, and like a previous poster mentioned, the fact that we're health and fitness oriented, is HUGE! Imagine if we weren't . Just look at the majority of women in our age group....we are truly the exceptions. I'm sorry for your arthritic joints, SRP, that would definitely be difficult to contend with. While we have our aches, pains, and limitations, I believe we're very blessed to have fitness as a part of our lives and honestly, there's no way around it, we're all getting older. Big ((((hugs)))) to you and I know you are a beautiful, strong, empowered woman!!!!:)
 
Hi SRP,

I'm sitting here icing my shoulder after doing my rehab exercises on it. I can empathize with your plight-needing to make concessions for our aging bodies and missing the high intensity workouts. My DH is 12 years older and has paved the way for me so to speak. His major exercise is walking -so I walk a lot with him. I find that I'm not as hungry doing less intense exercise so my diet is better. He doesn't want me to get any more hurt than I have been-and keeps stressing moderation. I have started yoga and really like it. I wasn't ready for it until last winter-it was too slow. But the more I do it, the more I like it.

I don't know if this helps, but I wanted you to know you're not alone in having to scale things back.

Beth
 
Just turned 58, and I am amazed at women my age who call themselves old. I don't consider myself old at all. I can't do what I used to do but I can do more than when I was in my twenties and didn't do any exercising at all.
I empathize with you too. It is hard, but the mind is younger than the body. It's hard to accept our age.

I was happy to see Cathe's latest workouts . Can't wait to see what they're like.
 
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My MIL, passed away a couple of weeks ago. She was 98 years old, and had been a widow for 35 years. She walked 2 miles a day, until the day she passed away. Only gave up driving a few months ago.
If walking is the only activity our body can handle, it's still moving, and we will be much better for it. Much better than the person that spends the day in a chair.
 
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cher54 said:
I know you are a beautiful, strong, empowered woman!!!!:)
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That's definitely how I feel when reading posts around here by you ladies. You are inspirational! Truly. I want to be as strong as you all are.

SRP, have you considered (if you have a pool close enough or a Gold's Gym with a pool) any water fit classes? I've taken Aqua Finning and Aqua Strength Circuit classes before & they were both quite challenging for me at the age of 37(I have limited arthritis). The Aqua Finning is a tough lower body conditioning w/o with no impact. I think your toe could do it. Some pools even offer deep water spinning, which is supposed to be advanced.
And, don't be so hard on yourself. ((hugs))
 
Shannon:

how do your hands/wrist feel with tubing? If they can withstand this without too much aches and inconvenience, try getting a TRX. The workouts with suspension systems are incredible, tough and intense.

I see no reason why you cannot continue with your weights workouts as you are doing: using DVDs as inspiration only, but making up your own lifting splits, paper workouts, and taking your own sweet time with the lifting hooks. It is still so worth doing: only 1 part of lifting has to do with fun and enjoyment. The rest is all improved health: you can still get all those benefits (stronger bones, lower blood pressure, weight management and personal empowerment).

The world likes to tell us that health, fitness, beauty and success belong to the young but it's just bullshit. I grimace whenever I see Shape magazine and look at the photo of whatever skinny young thing is on the cover or photographed for the articles using micro dumbbells because, basically, they are already both genetically blessed and youthful! Of course they look fabulous: we all do in our twenties! But Muscle and Fitness and Oxygen don't necessarily represent us all either: achieving the look demonstrated by the models in those mags requires massive dedication and time. Yes, some of us can and do achieve it (Karen!), but the majority of women don't look like that. I personally don't have the commitment in me and life just continuously demands my focus elsewhere, so I will never look or feel like those fit women.

What's missing is a publication that reflects us back to ourselves: women of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, professions, fitness levels, body types, levels of commitment to fitness, physical difficulties, etc. To a certain extent, it might just be easier, mentally and philosophically, for women in their 40s, 50s and 60s to accept the ageing process and the changing nature of our bodies and physical abilities if we were represented somewhere, could recognize ourselves somewhere. Then we would be able to say "oh, OK, here's where I fit, this is my niche and my community, these are my people," rather than struggling to hold on to the bodies and physical abilities of our youth, which is a frustrating enterprise.

It is difficult to accept the decline of physical ability and accompanying aches and pains. I rant and rave eternally about why I had to be 'blessed' with both major depressive disorder and now arthritis in my fingers that makes so many activities difficult, when my remaining 5 siblings sail through life with immaculate health! It isn't fair. But, that's one thing life teaches very early on, doesn't it?: it isn't fair. I hate ageing. I can't believe I turned 50 this year and that I look and feel so different than how I did even just 3 years ago. But, it 'aint gonna change! So, I have to.

Somewhere and somehow we all have to achieve our own personal equanimity and readjust our mental image of our physical self. My mother still has difficulty with this: she is 82 but still wants to garden all day as she did in her 40s. So, she does what she can and she now adopts a different approach to gardening: she comes over here and teaches me how to garden and landscape. I do all the work, she guides, directs, and teaches with the odd bit of leaf raking, plant selection, and planting. It's still gardening, just a different kind and level of commitment and involvement. But even in this activity, I have to make adaptations to the arthritis: I can only do about 4 hours a day, and I have to leave heavy pruning to my husband. I can still lift multiple 2 cu ft bags of soil/mulch/compost into the car and about the garden, I just can't use my fingers much, so it becomes a squat and deadlift move!

But! movement can still be ours! Here's some ideas:

1) rather than constantly grabbing different weights, why not adapt some cardio tabata workouts as weight tabatas, so you pick up a weight or barbell and perform one movement for the whole minute before having to change weight. That way, you get lifting with cardio and reduce the bother of constantly dealing with the lifting hooks around a new weight every 12 reps. Pick a DVD that's already divided into intervals/rounds/tabatas and no matter what the instructor does, you do your thing, but you have company while you workout, motivation and good music. Write down ahead of time which weights and moves you think you'd like to perform to make the whole thing smoother and go for it! You still get to lift. (Afterburn would work well for this: KCM has a version of this in her tabata workout Shape Up)

2) Invest in some Powerstrike DVDs with Ilaria and also her lower body workouts that use no weights but do high reps of kickboxing-inspired lower body moves and keep the sweat flowing while shaping the lower body: Bodystrikes.

3) Tonique with Sylwia. Yes, I know these are ultra high rep and can have a dread factor to them, but there's no weights involved and these are both body shaping, non-impact and cardio workouts because the woman never stops moving. This may not be your chosen way of working out, it isn't mine either, but I will accept to do one of these workouts per week in order to maintain my health, cardio capacity, stress reduction, a degree of flexibility and fit into my jeans!

Compromises. Can't do EXACTLY what I used to do or want to do, but what can I do that is close to it and still delivers the same/similar effects?

4) This could be the time to seriously become a yogini or pilates pro. And, approach it as an intellectual journey in addition to a physical journey. What does each method teach us? How does the body work in each style of movement? How do we get into each pose? How do we move to a higher level of difficulty, etc. There is much to learn in both these types of movement and having been a stepping/lifting/interval workout pro in a past life is not necessarily any advantage for becoming adept at them. So, there's a need for humility when starting out. But, humility helps us to see ourselves differently and as new again, and we need that 'beginner's mind' approach right about now.

5) Barre workouts. See 2, 3 and 4 for reasons and approach. Ballet dancers have seriously honed bodies, even in their 40s, 50s and beyond. isometric moves build series strength and resilience, a different kind of strength than that gained by squatting 200 pounds.

6) swimming. Cardio, toning (dreaded word!) and totally non-impact. Even if you hate it, maybe just 1 per week? Won't hurt your toe.

7) weights machines at a gym: you don't have to hold a weight, just set the machine, curl hands around appropriate levers or legs into position and go. You can still move some very heavy weights this way: leg press, decline leg press, hamstring curls, etc, etc. Yes, I know there are articles and fitness pros telling us that many moves are better done with a dumbbell rather than a weight machine, but, needs must!

If you and I can adapt to a different mind set, agree to try different methods and ways of working the body and moving (rather than always thinking 'fitness') and agree to starting out to learn something new, we could stay healthy, in great shape, strong and also stretch our minds, stave off boredom and aches and pains and discover new aspects to ourselves hitherto un-revealed by weight training and step workouts?

There are so many ways to move. We are still young and healthy. Ageing happens but movement is always possible.

In arthritis-ridden solidarity,

Clare
 
Short answer:

I feel just as you do, and I hate it. I wrote my post as much to inspire myself and get out of my current slump as to hopefully inspire you and/or others. You are not the only one struggling to adapt Shannon. I think I just have to keep finding other things to love (doing). They will all be equally worthwhile.

Big hugs,

Clare
 
I don't want to come off all Pollyanna, but, maybe you just need to stretch more. In the past 6 years or so, I have noticed a definite pattern to my success with ever increasing levels of exercise intensity. Stretching. When I started with Cathe, I did A.M. / P.M. Stretch with Madeleine Lewis, for months; with T.A. the stretch is more or less dynamic & built right in; when I started running, I incorporated a basic stretch of all major muscle groups after every run, again for months (I think after letting that go, is when I ran into problems with over use, imbalance, at least that's my theory) Later with Bodyshred, the most high intensity, high impact program I have done to date, I did both a thorough warm up & cool down, or stretch at the end.

Now with yoga, which nearly always gave me fits & starts, I both warm up & stretch, although stretching afterward is not always needed. TIFWIW, but I'll revise and say warming up, and stretching, before, during, or after, may be the ticket. I've only really have been actively engaged for 6 years, but it's covered my late 40's to 50's, and I do much more now than I did then.
 
Thank you all so much for your heartfelt replies! And thank you for sharing your own stories of how you've adjusted. I really had just posted to vent and hadn't expected so much support. I appreciate all of you. :)

To answer a couple of questions: Swimming, etc. - NO. WAY. Sorry, I'm scared of swimming and stuff. Stretching - absolutely. I do yoga and love it, and yes, it definitely helps to prevent injuries and keeps me moving a lot better than when I wasn't doing it. My hand problems keep me from doing traditional stuff like Sun Salutations, but I make up my own flow and go with it. Oh yeah, and I get the Yoga Journal ... love it, all the philosophical stuff, everything. Just finished the current issue. Curling up on the couch with that magazine makes me happy. Barre and high rep stuff - I'm thinking on it but don't really enjoy it. I did Turbo Barre last week and was bored out of my skull the entire time.

I'm using this week to sort of "reset" myself. Taking a walk outside at lunch because the weather is GORGEOUS, and then a short walk with my dog as the sun sets when I get home, and yoga. I've really whittled down my DVD selection, and I'm working on how to most effectively use what I have. I'm tempted to sell the elliptical and just totally remove that source of injury. But I'm thinking I might be able to use it differently once my knee heals - maybe as "blasts" during a leg workout, instead of the longer sessions. And I continue to experiment with bands - some things work, some things don't.

Oh well. Enough for now. Thank you all again!
 
SRP,

"Aging is not lost youth but a new stage of opportunity and strength." Betty Friedan (1921-2006)

I am sorry to read about your health restrictions, as you have become older and I hope you find a peaceful solstice and compromise.
Keep a positive mental outlook and yes you "still have a good life".

With warm regards,


 
This is actually something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I am 44 (will be 45 in less than 2 months) and I am finding things harder than I used to. Not so much strength training but plyometrics. I have always been a lover of all things Insanity, plyo and HIIT--even with metal plates and screws in both heels. But lately it seems harder than it used to and when my heels start their aching it seems worse. The doctor told me this would happen as I aged and more foot surgery will probably be required one day but after my "miraculous" recovery (or so everyone including the doctors proclaimed) I thought I would beat the odds and be a crazy jumper till I was 90. Now I am rethinking that assumption.

But you know what? I have found that I am okay with it. It has forced me to branch out and start paying closer attention to other fitness modalities that I am really enjoying--barre, yoga, bodyweight workouts, kettlebell workouts, biking. I have also been reading about aging well. I just finished Spring Chicken (Stay Young Forever or Die Trying) by Bill Gifford and I just started reading Older, Faster, Stronger: What Women Runners Can Teach Us All About Living Younger, Longer by Margaret Webb.

What I am taking away from these books so far is that exercise really is the only elixir of youth and health out there. By exercising every day you can not only extend your lifespan but, much more importantly, your healthspan. Because, really, who wants to be 90 years old and unable to care for yourself? I want to be healthy, active and independent until the day I die and the only way that will happen is through daily exercise. Spring Chicken spent a lot of time going over different things that people do to be younger--supplements, drugs, etc..--and the only thing that actually worked to make people vital, healthy and youthful into old age, was exercise. In Older, Faster, Stronger she explores older female athletes who are healthier, faster and stronger than they were before age 50!

These things give me hope. And sometimes, when I am hobbling around, resorting to crutches again because of the pain in my heels, I really need that. Because I don't have the pain every day or even all day when I do have it, so in those periods where I am pain free--I will exercise as much as I can--doing whatever type of exercise my body allows.
 
I love a line from the movie Shawshank Redemption:
"I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really. Get busy living or get busy dying."

...I think that's what motivated my 58 year old husband to hike the Appalachian Trail this summer. He completed it in 95 days taking only 3 days of rest while doing it! He said there were times he didn't think he could make it; he felt maybe he was just too old to continue at the pace he'd set. He also realized how dang lucky he was to have the opportunity to take on such a huge challenge. He has been such a motivating force for me. I am also feeling some of the effects of aging (I'm 53), but I'm doing the best I can and hope I can be physically active and mentally sharp as I continue on my way to whatever is waiting for me up ahead on this path. I think I was avoiding the fact that I need to come to grips with not going "all out" every workout; that I need to back off and slow the pace down every now and then or I am going to create injury (I am already nursing several!). I am looking forward to incorporating the new ICE series into a sustainable regime that will help bring more balance of intensity to my workouts!
 
Thank You for posting. It is inspiring. Everyday I am so thankful I can still do cardio because of my COPD and seizures. I just want to send you a hug so you don't feel alone. Is there anyway you can do step a few times a month with just the platform? Can you build a nice spring floor (small area) like Cathe has? I hope you can find a way. I second swimming. Maybe look into private swimming lessons. Since developing a seizure disorder at 54 yrs old, I can no longer "ever" drive. I have now picked up biking with a kids trailer to go get groceries. Is there any personal trainers in your area that specialize in restrictions? When one door closes another door opens....I have learned that the hard way!
 
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I was surprised to see this post and wanted to add to it since I have been thinking about this very thing lately. I turned 60 this year and after purchasing ICE when it became available, I had this crazy thought that I should probably stop investing in anymore at home workouts. I have an extensive library of videos as I am sure many of you do as well. Workout commented she has no children to look after her when she turns 90. Well that's me too so I have decided that it would be crazy not to keep investing in my vids because if I ever have to wear pampers, I need to be able to change them myself. Love all your supportive comments.
 
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