Friends don't eat...

S

spin22

New Member
Hi everyone,
My problem (or annoyance) is that my college girlfriends hardly eat. They go for hours between very small meals (say, some mashed potatos, for a meal) or skip them. If I skipped meals or ate so little, I'd pig out at night, but they don't even do that. Plus, they're all bigger than me (in height and weight)so they should be eating more than me. And they exercise on most days. And then they complain that they're fat when they're fine.
I'm just so sick of it because I try to eat normally (eat what I want in moderation) and exercise 3-4xs a week, and all of their low calorie diets make ME feel like I'm eating too much and will be fat in the end. It's like a competition, but I'm the one who has (and will) take in a lot more calories.
They get annoyed if I say they should eat more, so that's hopeless because we just argue. I need some motivation that I'M the one who's healthy and it's not good to eat so little.
Thanks for any advice!!!
 
You Are RIGHT!!

You ARE the healthy one!! Good for you and just stick to your guns! What they are doing is shutting down their metabolism and once that slows down, their body will hang onto every little morsel that they put in their mouth because their brains are telling the body that it is in a starve mode! Your thinking is right-on! Just continue to do what you are doing and who knows, maybe it will start to wear off on some of them when they see you are healthy and have LOTS of energy. Good Luck!

Your-Friend-In-Fitness, DebbieH :)

"If You Get The Chance To Sit It Out Or Dance...I Hope You DANCE!!"
 
spin22, Debbieh is right and so are you! I experienced the same thing as a student and as a recovering (think I'll always be in that recovering stage) anorexic, it was really hard for me to eat 'normal' when girls around me would eat very little/nothing. Stick to your guns, girl, and continue to encourage them to eat healthier. Maybe you could let them know the info that Debbie posted and it might sink in.

I'm not sure if you are in a sorority (I was not) but I hear the girls there are known for 'not eating'. This can be so dangerous--your body is still developing and not eating can increase your risk of osteoporosis, anemia, not to mention eating disorders and other health problems.

Okay, that's my 2 cents. Stay strong and don't let them get you down!
 
I agree with what everyone has said. I know how tough it can be to be around these people. There is a woman in my office who is addicted to exercise in a bad way. If she eats one little thing that she doesn't think she should, she will figure out how much extra cardio she has to do that night to burn it off. Her attitude towards food is annoying. Every single conversation with her revolves around what she's going to eat, and how she's going to burn it off. She won't have children because she doesn't want to gain weight during the pregnancy. AND SHE TAKES METABOLIFE, which to me is stupid because of the dangers of ephedra. She is not in the least bit overweight, but what a toll all of this obsession is taking on her and those around her. She may be physically fit, but not emotionally fit. It's hard being around her and not getting swept up in her neurosis.

It must be tough on you because these people are your friends, rather than coworkers that you can leave behind at the end of the day. However, if their behavior chips away at your self-esteem, maybe you need to ask yourself if it's good for you to have them as friends. Maybe it's time to make some new ones.

Stay strong!!!

Veronica
 
It doesn't change! I (43) visited a girlfriend & felt like a pig. She's quite happy to have coffee & a plum for breakfast, lunch at 2 or so, & then nothing until dinner at 8. I'm smaller, but just eat (& workout) a lot more. I think she'd have a lot more energy if she'd fuel the engine but all I can do is set an example. Several of my spinning buddies (women in their 40's & 50's) take an am spinning class & don't eat any food before noon. I admire their discipline & sleek bodies, I have a tough time heading for the shower instead of the pantry after a 7am class even when I have a snack before class!

If your lose confidence that you've chosen the healthy path, check out a sports nutrition book. You have to fuel the machine.
 
Hi--You are the normal one, so don't let their disordered eating habits make you feel insecure. You sound like you've got it together--you feed your body and exercise. Take pride in the fact that you care enough about yourself to give your body what it needs. I read a really interesting article in the latest issue of Muscle & Fitness Hers--it covers eating disorders. To get a good perspective on just how healthy your habits are, I highly recommend you read the article. Those girls--while they might be skinny now--are setting themselves up for lives filled with health and emotional problems. Anyway, betcha dollars to donuts that those starving chicks envy your easy-going attitude about eating. You sound like a smart cookie!! Suzanna
 
First of all, lay off the the advice and arguing. You know you're doing the right thing for you, so do it quietly. Maybe you need to cultivate some new friends who are into sports and eating smart. Also, hang around the weight room and talk to the guys. Guys usually have more sense about stuff like this.

Most people don't want advice unless they ASK for it, just like you did here. Your friends won't change their habits unless they are persuaded to by an example they will listen to, like a sports hero. So just go about your business quietly, and maybe they will come around. And it may take them YEARS! Be glad you have developed good habits at an early age.
 
Hi there. I was in a sorority. We pigged out most of the time and I enjoyed every minute of it. I could eat a lot in college (whole pizza) and I weighed about 105. But, how things change as we get older. I have since changed my eating habits and have added an exercise program. So, your friends aren't exactly normal eaters but I wouldn't throw them away as friends just yet. Perhaps you could build some cool muscles that they will envy. They can't work out the way you can for lack of fuel. There are also some good magazines out there with muscular women on them instead of stickly women. Perhaps you could leave a few around for them to see.

I have a similar problem with very little eating with my in-laws. I nearly starve to death when I go there. They don't eat very much at all. They almost make me feel guilty for getting hungry. They act as if it is some honor thing to say they aren't hungry. It is weird because they don't want to be the first one to admit they need some food. They also think that they must burn off every bight of food. After dinner, it is so common for us to have to go on 2 or 3 mile walks in order to burn off our dinner. It is so frustrating. I've tried to explain things to them but they are quite used to eating this way. So, I just announce it proudly when I am hungry. I eat a normal amount and sometimes I even eat more with a dessert to show them that you can eat and still be a normal weight.

I think you have gotten some outstanding advice on this issue. I hope it works out for you.
 
I am going to agree with honeybunch here. Been there, done that, been the fat one, been the thin one..bottom line, until I learned not to let it be an issue, it always was.
Chances are your friends are not going to appreciate advice in this area unless they ask for it, and it just continues to draw attention to it.
It is very normal for people to have...unusual...eating habits in college. Eventually, we all get to a place where we have to face up to what we have been fueling with. I think the best thing for to remember is not to let other people define how you feel about you. You received lots of well-deserved positive reinforcement here that you are doing the healthy thing--you have a good head on your shoulders. Be confident, and let the rest of the world spin as it will.
 
THANKS EVERYONE!

I appreciate all of your advice- it's reassuring knowing I am being healthy and that a lot of you have been in similar situations.
Last night, my friend said such a sick thing... She hardly ate all day and then, at night, she had a few shots of strong alcohol. Since she drank on an empty stomach, she had to throw up a few times and was actually HAPPY about throwing up because she "threw up the calories she just drank and more." Isn't that horrible thinking??
Thanks again
 
I just re-read my post. I can't believe that I put bight for bite. I really am an educated woman. I was just tired that day. I have frequent insomnia so I wasn't doing too well. I also re-read my post before I posted it and found nothing wrong. What a weenie I am! :-sleepy
 
You're too funny!!!! Or is it "your two funny"? You should hear me try to talk when I am tired. I'm the source of a lot of amusement around the house!
 
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