Briee

[emy]

Briee, I wanted to tell you that I got the train up a child book you talked about. I am glad I got it and learned many good things. I can see how many things they say are true. I think everyone should read the chapters on attitude training and emotional control. I am hesitant to be gung ho about all of the book's recommendations, but it has changed the way I train/discipline Max. I can see a big difference now that I have stopped flying off the handle (showing anger) when Max is naughty and instead I remain calm while disciplining. And, I have been awakened to the reality that I did not learn emotional control from my parents (mostly my dad). It is so much harder now to try to change since I grew up with a dad with little control over his emotions. I can see that of all things I want to pass on to Max, first I want him to "walk uprightly before God," but second I want him to have emotional control!

Well, I had some more comments in my head, but the little one is hungry and I will have to remember them later...

 

[briee]

I'm so glad it helped Emy. I too don't take EVERYTHING from the book, but I take the good and leave the rest. I know they can be a little overly gungho than I tend to be, but even if you take some of the child training to heart....it can change the way you react, etc. I think I've completely MISSED using the book with Noah (think I mentioned this in another thread). He's being referred to now as my "little monster that I single handedly created". (but he's just so cute - boy I have to read this book again).

If you ever get the chance PLEASE get a copy of his wife's book "created to be his helpmeet" (by debi pearl). It can completely change a marriage. It is so interesting you could read it in one sitting. A friend of mine gave it to me and went on raving about how much my dh would LOVE this book. SO MUCH so that my rebellious nature (imagine that) kicked in and I finally yelled back at her "SO WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?????". (jokingly of course.....well kind of). I have seen more marriages saved through this book and many many wives and husbands restored. I went through a time with dh about 4 years ago when I just "gave up" so to speak. I was so tired being a mom, cooking, schooling, doing devotions with the kids and trying to be perfect in general and one day I cracked and gave it all up. I stopped cooking, cleaning, trying to discipline children. Amazing things happened in our household and I could write a book about the rest....but Debi Pearl did instead. When I read her book...I finally realized WHY IT WORKED. She explains things very biblically and in the end....I'm a VERY happy wife and my dh is a VERY happy dh. If you can't find it..I have an extra copy I can send ya!

I have to get some pictures posted so you can see what Noah looks like now and I need some updated pix of your little ones. How are you adjusting to your move, new home???

Briee

 

[emy]

Briee, I forgot to tell you that I tried to email you, but it was sent back to me. So, that is why I posted this thread here (not that it's too personal or anything). So, this book, are you saying amazing things happened in your household because you stopped cooking and cleaning or because you read this book or both? I'm a little slow...

Speaking of being a tired amom, I am in awe of you and you have 3 times as many kids as me and some days I feel like I am overwhelmed. I can't imagine all you have on your plate!

Funny you mentioned my move and new home, I will have to tell you about that soon. Send me some pics of the cutie pie(s) to emylee at gmail.com. Watch out you might be creating a monster out of me. The more assistance you provide me with, the more I need!

 

[briee]

Remember this is to YOU Emy. I'm sure nobody else is ...

going to read this right?

Yes it does sound that way from my post doesn't it. (just quit doing anything and all will fall into place :7 ). As I look back the answer was much easier than I ever imagined. GET THE BOOK. OR I'll email it to you. (I know the suspense is killing you right). It really is a great basic biblical approach and it's made my life much easier and less stressful.

In a nutshell...I was trying to do it all, homeschool, cook, clean, garden, devotions with kids. I was trying to be the perfect mom and I was expecting my husband to do certain things and I "felt" like he expected me to do all those things well and I expected too much from the kids. I had struggles with my oldest on a daily basis (getting him to do school work etc.). All this and be a perfect Christian and make my family "look" perfect on the outside. Oh my...makes me tired just thinking of it. One day I snapped. I stopped all the above mentioned. I started "playing" with my kids and enjoying them, left the kitchen, stopped pushing all my "godly" ideas of the way our family should work on my dh, started working out, stopped trying to be perfect (I am WAY FAR from perfect), stopped expecting my kids to be perfect, let go of all the stress. I thought our family might fall apart, but what happened next really amazed me. My dh started to LEAD our family, he came back into the kitchen and helped out, he did devotions with the kids, started schooling them, whipped the house back in order, he began to plan family functions, he began to do what men are called to do, but have somehow turned over to wives or I should say wives have "taken over" whether consciously or not. I became physically fit and quite happy and this made him incredibly happy. I told him what a great dh he was and what a great job he was doing and began to honor and support his plans and he in turn encourages me daily, but does not expect things to be perfect. We are both incredibly happy now as things are getting in order. When I read Debi's book, I realized that God has called us as wives to love and encourage our dh and somehow we have become confused by thinking we need to do a million other jobs. I AM back in the kitchen now...but not always.

You know...another interesting thing....I was talking to dh about how you see husbands frequently leaving their wives for secretaries. Have you ever thought about this whole concept. Mom's get so involved in their children and so over exhausted and tired that dh takes a back seat. We quit trying to meet their needs as we are far too TIRED to meet their needs. A secretary meets their bosses needs all day. They are paid to obviously. A man is thrilled by this, having a women serve him. Sounds incredibly chauvenistic right.....WRONG. I can say from experience.....when I gave up all these activities and began to meet my dh's needs...he was HAPPY. In fact he would bend over backwards to make me happy because he was now so happy. "What dear you want to work out....take as much time as you need...you want Cathe DVD's....go for it. You want a pullup tower....I'll run out and get you one. You can take a rest you deserve it....your the best mom in the world...your the best wife in the world." I am NOT exagerating Emy. LIFE HAS CHANGED. The children are all happier because I am making Dad happy and HE is making me happy. The children answer to him, not to me. My oldest son is going to work with him now and involved in the REAL world as well as completing his school work. And the funniest thing was the other night...we had a REALLY nice night ;-) (I will not go into detail here...but my hormones have REALLY kicked in since exercise came into the picture) and after wards I said "I didn't cook breakfast, lunch or dinner and the house is a mess". He said "I didn't notice - you are the BEST WIFE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD". Read the book Emy it's revolutionizing. I'm sure I've said way too much. What's new. Many will disagree...but I wonder if their marriages are as incredible as mine has become. Their is a God-given system that God has ordained, but many are bucking the system to their great disadvantage. GET THE BOOK

Briee

 

[emy]

RE: Remember this is to YOU Emy. I'm sure nobody else is ...

Thanks, Briee. You have me convinced!