And on the opposite end, whose biological clock is...

R

red_mct

Cathlete
...ticking??

Just curious (nosey).

I am 37 and have two boys: 13 and 6. I am pretty busy with my two and very active in my career, so I don't think any more kids are in the cards for me. And yet... sometimes I am overwhelmed by the desire for another baby.

Of course, I snap out of it sooner or later, and then I am always amazed by how strong the procreation urge is. Of course, it might just be me, as my family is huge and I always say I come from common breeding stock. lol :)

Curious about you other ladies...

Cheers,
Marie
 
Hi Marie!

I'm in the same boat, but my clock tick is a little bit louder - I'm 40. DD's are 13 and 4. The girls and DH ALL want another baby, and I'm the one that keeps thinking, you know, maybe two is enough. One of my friends just had her first baby last year at 40 and is planning on having another.

I have to admit this past week, I saw my hairdressers baby and it was the first time in 4 years I DIDN'T have that urge to procreate. It kinda caught me off guard because I usually see or hold a baby and think, you know, maybe we do need one more. I've been mulling over this for a couple years now.

Seems some people make this kid decision so easy, and for me it's been really tough. Guess I'm nosey too and would like to hear others thoughts. Kinda crazy but I wonder if Cathe wants any more children? Maybe its because we're about the same age and she's my role model.

Thanks for posting this.

Sami

Edited to Add: For some reason I've always known for sure that I didn't want more than three, but I can never remember deciding that two was going to be it for me...WHY??
 
Hi Marie and Sami!

Boy, do I hear you both! I'll be 36 in July so my clock isn't ticking too loudly yet. My son is 6, my daughter 3 and my husband and I just can't decide what to do about the third. I can see myself with three kids "down the road," but sometimes the thought of going through the newborn stage again is a bit overwhelming. There are months we decide to just "go for it," and afterwards I'm so torn about if we've made the right decision and am almost relieved when I get my period.

Money is a big factor for us in not having a third, as I have to work at least part time in my profession (my choice, not that I would lose my job or anything) and child care has always been a huge issue for us. We can see the light at the end of the tunnel now...in two years my daughter will be in kindergarten...but I still have moments where I truly wish it would just happen and I would find myself pregnant.

I sometimes wonder, too, how some people know they won't have kids, they'll have one, two is it, etc., and my husband and I act like having a third is the same as having our tenth!
 
Well I am 34 with no kids and I can hear my biological clock ticking so loud it keeps me up at night:). The thing is I don't have a strong desire for a baby just a strong desire not to miss having one because I kept putting it off for career things.
 
Hi girls.
I'm 35 w/ 2 boys 7& almost 6. If I KNEW for a fact that I'd have a girl, I might do it again. It would really kill us financially tho.

DH works for the government but I haven't worked in 7 yrs. I'll be going a few hrs. a day when my little guy starts Kindergarten in Sept. 5 yrs. ago I was dying to go to work, now the countdown is on & I don't want to!:-(

When I see newborns sometimes I feel the pull in my heart, but I tell myself "they are not like that for long" and when I see a 3 or 4 yr. old throwing a hissy fit, I say "thank God I'm done!"

Now I'll be thinking about it again!;-)

Kali
PS... If I had to do it all again, I can honestly say I'd do things differently. But you know what they say "hindsight is 20/20"
 
I'm 37 also, w/no children. There was a point in my life when I definitely wanted kids, but the circumstances were never right & according to my dr. if I don't start now my time has pretty much come & gone. But the circumstances still aren't right so I guess it ain't gonna happen. :-(
 
Oh my gosh Michelle -

"I sometimes wonder, too, how some people know they won't have kids, they'll have one, two is it, etc., and my husband and I act like having a third is the same as having our tenth!"

This is SOOO me! I find myself occasionally asking the ladies at work how did you KNOW two or three or none or whatever was it? Some of them said because they just decided to sell all the baby stuff and maternity clothes. Makes me wonder, because I sold half my maternity stuff and still have half here in the basement closet.

"There are months we decide to just "go for it," and afterwards I'm so torn about if we've made the right decision and am almost relieved when I get my period."

Also like you, DH wanted to "try" the past couple of months and I was also relieved when I got my period.

Anyway, your post made me smile, in that I'm not alone!

Sami
 
I'll soon be 44 and DS is 24, DD is 22. There is no way I'd do it again right now and I felt the same way ten years ago. Mid-20's I'd thought about having another one but DH said absolutely not. My feelings about a third child were very ambivalent so I didn't push it. Now I'm glad I didn't. Kids are so expensive!! ... but priceless at the same time!
 
I'm 44 and have one child, age 15. I fought my way back tooth and nail from a crushing bout of postpartum depression that lasted for nearly a year, and that at times I wasn't sure I could survive at all. Not to mention that we were, in our childbearing years, financially unable to responsibly support another child. Despite all this, however, I very deeply regret having only one child. I knew then that I would, and I do, but I felt I had little choice. If you truly want another baby, don't make that mistake. If you think you'll regret it, you probably will.

Shari
 
I am thirty and I swear, someone or another tells me that my "clock is ticking" at least once a week! I have no children of my own (BF has children) and I do want to but the career v. family things weighs on me a lot and I still think of myself as rather young. Maybe not, judging by everyone's comments :eek:
 
I am 33 and we have 3 boys. They are 10, 8, and 3. We debated for a few years after the first two about having a third. He came a little later because we lost one before the third arrived. We are done though, had to have a hysterectomy at age 32 (almost 2 years ago since I will be 34 next month). I love my boys! :)
 
Hi I'm 43 .And Have 3 boys .Ages 20(Almost 21) 16 and well I'm one of those that got the wild hair and had my last at age 40 ,he's 3 almost 4 !!! So so cool for my youngest ,he almost has 3 dads LOL with those big brothers .Its been well worth it . .Now my tubes are tied !!! LOL So I just get to have fun ...No worries LOL}( }(
 
I just turned 35 and me and my friend just had this discussion on the phone this morning. We both have three. Ages (7,5,and 2), but we both don't want to even think about being done. Both of our husbands say that they are done. For me, if I could be guaranteed a girl I would definitely go for it. My dh agrees. I just look at my two year and think, where did my baby go. I get so sad. He's like a little man. Sigh.

The other thing I think about is that work outs probably would get harder to get in if I had four. I know that sounds selfish, but that's how important it is to me and I know that you all can relate to that.

Hey, let's all get pregnant at the same time! ;-) What a great support group that would be!

Dallas
 
I don't know if any of you have this situation, but my friends' kids all are roughly the same age as mine (6 and 3.) I sometimes wonder how much I'd miss out on having a baby now. We do beach days, pool days, movie days, etc., that are so much fun that I wouldn't want my two older kids to miss out on that with having the third. I guess that's a little selfish...huh?

And the workout thing, too, is another big part for me as I really didn't get back into the groove for almost a year after giving birth. I've worked hard for the past two years to get "myself" back and the thought of doing all that again sometimes doesn't feel worth it!

But then to have a little one running around...:) And, me, too, if I knew it would be a girl. I'd love for my DD to have a sister!
 
I am 38 and have an almost 3 and almost 5 year old. A boy and a girl. I am an only child, as are my only two cousins, so I thought having more than one was a major accomplishment!

I loved having my babies, but dang am I glad to be out of that stage. I was completely and utterly exhausted for 4 years. Now that I'm almost done with diapers I can't imagine going through all that again. I'm looking forward to all the other stages!

I also agree with the "getting your body back in shape" after pregnancy issue. Both times it took me at least a year. I am just now finally in decent shape. I couldn't do that again. I never thought about more than 2, then or now. I even remembering praying my second pregnancy wasn't twins!
 
RE: And on the opposite end, whose biological clock is....

>Hey, let's all get pregnant at the same time! ;-) What a
>great support group that would be!

Okay Dallas, don't tempt me now.:)

I've been quietly contemplating having another child the last two years. I know my husband doesn't want to have another one, and yet he was the one who wanted a family, not me. Having a son with a condition that needs a lot of therapy is draining, emotionally, physically, mentally and financially, and he thinks this is MORE than enough.

I had a long talk with my OB a few weeks ago. I told her about my son's condition and everything we've had to go through with him, and then I asked her: If you were in my place, would you even think about having another one? My OB is a person who is very tactful but at the same time, she doesn't mince words. She told me she'd think twice about it. She also mentioned that I'm past the age where my pregnancies could be considered "safe" (I'm 36), and even though many women still have safe deliveries well into their 40's, you never really know since every pregnancy is different. When our session was over, she took my hands in hers, put her face very close to mine, and said in almost a whisper: Make sure you take care of yourself -- remember that -- your welfare is just as important as your child's. Her gesture, more than her words, really struck me (doctors aren't exactly touchy-feely people), and it hit home. I can't be a good mother to two kids when I'm already having a hard time with one. I can't be a good mother to the second child when the first child already consumes me.

Honestly this makes me sad. I've found motherhood to be extremely difficult, but you know... it's nice having a family. For better or for worse, it's nice having a family.

Pinky
 
I have three. 8, 6, and 3. Our third was a bit of a surprise and really completes our family. Or maybe he was just a great addition and another one would really complete our family. I really wanted another girl ( as did my daughter, the 6 year old) I will always be sad about not having any more children but my husband is 100% sure he does not want to reproduce again and I must respect that. I always say, though, that I will not do anything permanent because if he dies I might remarry and have more children!! LOL!!
 
RE: And on the opposite end, whose biological clock is....

Well I am 34 ... DH and I have been married for ... wow ... 6 years! I always felt different from my friends because they all seemed to have a strong maternal instinct that I never seemed to feel. I am starting to think about it more from seeing my friends go through the process .... I love kids .... work with kids .... and when I think about the future I think that I'd like to have kids .... but I wonder why I don't have that "feeling" ... my DH and I had a long talk the other day and I think I am getting to the point of trying ... I sort of think maybe a part of me is scared .... I'm not sure ..... Well enough rambling! :)
Cath :)
 
RE: And on the opposite end, whose biological clock is....

well, I have three girls 8,6 and 3. We debated two years over weather to have another one or not. Finally we decide on no ,and hubby got his wing man clipped. Anywho it was a hard decision for us. I'm 32 and he is 33 and things are finally getting easier now that my girls are getting older. BUUUUUT I still miss that baby smell, and baby cry and baby feel. I don't think as a mom that will ever go away. Karen
 
RE: And on the opposite end, whose biological clock is....

I think I understand exactly what you're saying, Cath. I believe I could easily have lived out my life without children, if I had been unable to conceive. I was afraid of giving up my freedom, I think.

I would not have considered either adoption or in vitro. The desire to have children was just not that strong in me . . . until my son was born, that is. And I certainly never in my life considered wanting more than one. Now, he IS my life. I can't imagine life without him and wouldn't want to. It would just be so empty. And what's more, I dearly regret not having at least two children, possibly more.

Shari
 
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