Hi Wendybdh!! Guess what? Bonus surprise for you - you are actually 4 weeks pregnant! You start counting from the first day of your last menstrual cycle. So - TA DA!!! Your first month is already over! Wasn't that easy?? LOL! Pregnancy is 40 weeks long, starting from the first day of your last menses, so actually you end up being 'pregnant' for 10 months (10 x 4 weeks/month). This presumes a typical 28 day cycle, so it's unaccurate for some women. As you know, I ovulated on day 21 of my cycle, so I'm actually 7 weeks along, if I go by the textbook. But since I know when I ovulated, I know that I'm actually only 6 weeks. Think my ob/gyn is going to believe me? I doubt it. I'm thinking she'll be sending me for an early ultrasound to get a due date assessment.
Anyhow, back to your original question. First pregnancy, I told everyone immediately. I couldn't contain it. Second pregnancy, I told my parents and my closest friend immediately, but we hesitated on telling a wider group. We kind of gradually told people over the next few weeks, as we "bumped into" them. That pregnancy felt shaky for me right from the start, and I just didn't even really like to talk about it. Saying I was going to have a baby just felt like a lie. Weird, huh? As you know, I miscarried at the end of the first trimester. This time around, I told my parents immediately, (but I told you first LOL!!), DH's parents, and my close friend here in Edmonton. I feel really good about this pregnancy, and will happily tell people as I see them.
My personal philosophy about telling people is that waiting until you get to the end of the first trimester, "just in case", treats miscarriages as something shameful, to be kept secret from the rest of the world. When I miscarried I wanted people to know, because I needed them to cut me some slack (from work), and I needed the support from my friends and community. It seemed ridiculous to go through all that by myself. If we had had any other kind of health problem we would have told people, so we could get the support we need.
Another reason to tell people sooner rather than later is because you are probably going to be very, very tired over the first few months, and maybe even very nauseas and ill. How can you expect to get through your working day feeling like that, and not have anyone notice? At least if they know that you're feeling like that, they might cut you some slack. You've mentioned that your employer is very supportive of you, so I think telling early will be to your benefit. And if the worst happens and you miscarry, you are going to need some time off work, so they would probably be more compassionate about letting you do that.
These are just my opinions, of course. I know that if I miscarry again I'll be telling my friends and community, because I will need their support and understanding. And it's amazing what you will learn about other people when you reveal your own reproductive problems with them. This is rarely a trouble-free problem for anyone! So, I'll also be telling everyone fairly quickly, because it's exciting news, and I want to share that, too
Cheers,
Sandra
