What do you think about ex-gf's or ex'es in general?

[red_mct]

You know the kind: the ex-serious ones who say they have moved on but sporadically pop out of the woodwork just to check on how your DH/SO's life is going.

Without getting into any specifics of my situation, I will say that this is something I am really struggling with right now (logic vs. emotion, never good). Any insight into how you feel about the ex's in your life - yours or your DH's - would be appreciated. (And I don't mean the kind of ex'es who are attached to your children, because one only hopes they continue to be involved. I mean the kind that have no real reason to keep inserting themselves into the mix... but never seem to make any permanent exit.)

Somewhat irrationally,
Marie

 

[LuckeeLaydee]

My husband has no children with his ex and he has been emailed twice by her for no "real" reason. It bothers me but since he doesn't want anything to do with her and she is thousands of miles away I dont really worry about it. It all depends on the situation. Like you said if kids are involved etc. I feel like if the situation doesn't feel "right" to you, it probably isn't. If it's really only an ocasional call or email, nothing more, and he is telling you straight up about that's a good thing.

http://www.picturetrail.com/luckeelaydee

Paula

 

[Imafitnessfreak]

All depends on how your DH handles it. If an ex is popping in to check on DH's status...can you blame her? I think it is a stupid woman if she does not sniff around my DH, he's an awesome catch! Any woman would be lucky to have him. I can't expect the world to not think so just because he is mine.

What I do expect, and receive, is for my DH to make it clear that he is unavailable. If it is made clear then there are no repeat situations.

 

[allwildgirl]

I like what Sarah said. Soon after my SO and I moved in together and things were obviously quite serious, his ex- called him to say she was back in the country and still loved him and wondered if she could see him. He told her that he was with me and happy and basically to get lost.

That being said, if any of them came sniffing around, I'd pound them to dust. Ahem - in a totally non-violent way, of course

 

[alsrnbsn]

All I can say is if DH's ex shows up, I know that he would kick her to the curb before I even had the chance!

 

[Fit_mommy]

RE: What do you think about ex-gf's or ex'es in general...

Hi Marie.

I haven't read anyone's response to your question yet but I can only imagine that I will be in the minority here when I say that exes just don't bother me in the least!

I am friendly with a few of my exes and do not mind that DH is also friendly with a couple of his. Unless I am given a specific reason to worry that DH was "up to no good" with one of his old girlfriends, I pay no mind. He could be up to the same thing with ANY woman so for me it's no different. I'm not the jealous type. I used to be though...very jealous...it got me no where. Thankfully I changed that. I am a much happier person now.

Now I am going to go back and read the other responses to see if I'm right about being in the minority!

 

[dogs2birds]

DH's mom is friends with all of her ex's. But that has caused some trouble. Last year he remarried and they both lived with DH's mom until they got on their feet (weird, I know - he was about 15 years younger than DH's mom). Anyway, the new wife became so jealous of DH's mom EVEN THOUGH DH's mom did everything she could to help them to work out, as DH's mom's ex was contemplating leaving the new wife and DH's mom was trying to talk him out of it. The new wife shot herself in the head. She left hate letters for everyone including a very, very cruel one to DH's mom. The sad part was that DH's mom absolutely did not and does not want him back in that way and only tried to help them. So sad.

Suz

"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." - Anatole France

http://www.picturetrail.com/dogs2birds

 

[robyn6002]

I'm very good friends with me ex (17 years now). NO romance at all on either part. Neither of us are remarried so I guess it's easier.

Friends with most the guys I've dated - noone in my life (few years now). I think I was cut our for good friendship with guys.. releationships just aren't my thing!

Here's a different twist my ex (boyfriend/bestfriend) passed away from cancer in 00. I'm good friends with his ex. She was remarried by the time he and I dated. He didn't like the fact that she and I get along so well - it's funny we laugh about how similar we are - at least he was consistent on what he liked.

Sorry guess I didn't help much.

 

[robyn6002]

I'm very good friends with me ex (17 years now). NO romance at all on either part. Neither of us are remarried so I guess it's easier.

Friends with most the guys I've dated - noone in my life (few years now). I think I was cut our for good friendship with guys.. releationships just aren't my thing!

Here's a different twist my ex (boyfriend/bestfriend) passed away from cancer in 00. I'm good friends with his ex. She was remarried by the time he and I dated. He didn't like the fact that she and I get along so well - it's funny we laugh about how similar we are - at least he was consistent on what he liked.

Sorry guess I didn't help much.