Timber99
Cathlete
I know that a lot of you chimed in about the wedding invite that BF received where I (girlfriend of almost 9 years) was not invited (as me or a "guest"). Many of you asked me to post about how it worked out so, here it is!
The update is that today's the wedding and he is on his way there this morning. I think that her not inviting me was awfully rude. I can appreciate that it is her day and I know from family & friends that planning a wedding can be pretty stressful adn at some point, you need to make decisions and just go with them. At the same time, I think that there needs to be a courtesy extended, esp. where it is mostly people that he doesn't even know and we have been together for so long! I can also appreciate that BF served with her overseas for a year + and has a special bond with her. After weighing all of that out, I decided to leave it up to him and let him decide what he wanted to do. I felt strongly enough to ask him not to go but after I weighed it all out, I just decided to leave it to him. After all, mom always taught me to "be the better person," right? He came to me a few weeks ago and said he wanted to go. He knew where I was coming from an understood my perspective but at the same time, he wanted to go and support this person. BF has no problem with attending something like this alone and fending for himself. He will have a great time without me, I am sure! I am not mad at him for his choice either.
A few of you asked why I haven't met her yet, being that she is a good buddy of his, and the reason why is that he made friends with her over there. She lives hours away from us and he only sees her on the army weekends at the Unit. So, he has a lot of good buddies that I haven't met. After spending all that time in the desert with them, BF does not hang out with them on off time at all and there were many months where he stayed away from them purposely for a break. Personally, I don't want to meet her now (although I would if BF asked)!
Thanks to everyone for listening and giving your opinions on this one. I am off with a friend for dinner and drinks tonight!
Christine
The update is that today's the wedding and he is on his way there this morning. I think that her not inviting me was awfully rude. I can appreciate that it is her day and I know from family & friends that planning a wedding can be pretty stressful adn at some point, you need to make decisions and just go with them. At the same time, I think that there needs to be a courtesy extended, esp. where it is mostly people that he doesn't even know and we have been together for so long! I can also appreciate that BF served with her overseas for a year + and has a special bond with her. After weighing all of that out, I decided to leave it up to him and let him decide what he wanted to do. I felt strongly enough to ask him not to go but after I weighed it all out, I just decided to leave it to him. After all, mom always taught me to "be the better person," right? He came to me a few weeks ago and said he wanted to go. He knew where I was coming from an understood my perspective but at the same time, he wanted to go and support this person. BF has no problem with attending something like this alone and fending for himself. He will have a great time without me, I am sure! I am not mad at him for his choice either.
A few of you asked why I haven't met her yet, being that she is a good buddy of his, and the reason why is that he made friends with her over there. She lives hours away from us and he only sees her on the army weekends at the Unit. So, he has a lot of good buddies that I haven't met. After spending all that time in the desert with them, BF does not hang out with them on off time at all and there were many months where he stayed away from them purposely for a break. Personally, I don't want to meet her now (although I would if BF asked)!
Thanks to everyone for listening and giving your opinions on this one. I am off with a friend for dinner and drinks tonight!
Christine
