Wedding gift advice needed

nancy324

nancy324

Cathlete
I'm really confused.

DH's nephew is getting married in October. They were engaged many months ago, and we never sent an engagement gift. DH was invited to a Bachelor Party weekend in Las Vegas and declined, and I was invited to Bridal Tea and accepted. The couple is registered at BB&B and Bloomingdale's. Most of the BB&B stuff has been completed, so I'm planning to choose something from Bloomingdale's and send it this weekend as an engagement gift. We intend to give them a generous gift of cash at the wedding.

Do I need to bring a gift to the Bridal Tea? Should DH send a gift because he was invited to the bachelor party? I haven't a clue as to what's appropriate and don't want to get it wrong. Thanks!
 
I didn't know an engagement gift was the thing to do!:confused:
I say if you have the means and the desire, go for it! If it creates a burden on your finances then decline.
Is the Bridal Tea the bridal shower?
I've been married for 10 years but I guess a lot has changed since then!
 
I would say no gift for the bachelor party, no engagement gift and take a gift to the bridal tea. Maybe I am just cheap. Melissa
 
2121 said:
I would say no gift for the bachelor party, no engagement gift and take a gift to the bridal tea. Maybe I am just cheap. Melissa
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Actually, that's what I just read on several wedding websites! That's what I'm going to do: bring a nice gift to the shower, and then give a big wedding gift. And I'm done. :D

Who knew? In my day, engagement gifts were all the rage.
 
I only got engagement presents from the closet of family members and friends but I definitely got them. As for Bridal Tea, I always bring a nice gift. And then for the wedding we bring something bigger then. I like getting presents and I love giving them! :)
 
hottiescientist said:
I only got engagement presents from the closet of family members and friends but I definitely got them. As for Bridal Tea, I always bring a nice gift. And then for the wedding we bring something bigger then. I like getting presents and I love giving them! :)
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We are close family members, but I think the time for engagement gifts has long since come and gone. She's essentially part of the family now. We plan to give them a check for $500 as a wedding gift, which may be standard to them (she's from a wealthy family), but is a lot for us!

I was thinking of bringing a gift to the shower because I read that sometimes opening the gifts is an activity of the shower. Is that right? Normally, I would just send the gift to their apartment. Even though the invitation says "Bridal Tea" and doesn't mention "shower", I think it's best to bring the gift rather than send it. Can't hurt, right?
 
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$500 ?!?!?!?!?

I'll renew my vows and invite you, Nancy!!!!:p:p:p
My parents didn't even give that much to us!!!!
 
chefkate said:
$500 ?!?!?!?!?

I'll renew my vows and invite you, Nancy!!!!:p:p:p
My parents didn't even give that much to us!!!!
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Things are so much different here, Kate. My stepson and his wife were married in Long Island in 2005, and one aunt gave them $5000. :eek: I generally give only $200 if it's not a close relative, but this is a nephew, and our gift will not be unexpected. It's just the way things are around here. The cost of living is very high, and so are gifts. :eek:
 
chefkate said:
Wow. Just Wow.
Makes my head spin!:eek::eek::eek:
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I know. I don't care for it myself. My DH told me not to post dollar amounts on this forum because it would change the subject or cause the thread to die. I guess he was right. Hey, will someone from Long Island, Manhattan, northern NJ or Westchester please post here and confirm this stuff?!

So, what do you think? Do I bring the Bridal Tea gift to the Bridal Tea or send it to the apartment?
 
It is a lot of money, but if that's the going "rate", so to speak, then it's what you do I guess.

I generally give $100 to the children of my friends who are getting married. However, in January, my DS's best friend is marrying the daughter of my best friend. I am extremely close to both the bride and the groom. My DS is best man. I plan to give this couple $500 for their wedding gift. I had even thought about giving $1000, but that's kind of tough on the budget, plus I am giving the bridesmaid luncheon AND attending several showers where I will also be giving a gift.

It is crazy how expensive the whole wedding process has gotten since the days when I married, 27 years ago. I distinctly remember that my wedding dress cost $600 and that was extravagant at the time! Now, I sometimes watch that TLC channel (I think) show called "Say Yes to the Dress". It's pretty standard to pay $2000 for a bridal gown, which with inflation is probably about right, but some of these girls spend $20,000 - $30,000 ON A DRESS! That makes my head spin!!!
 
I hear you, JM. To me, there is no bigger waste of money than a wedding dress. The idea of spending $20,000 - $30,000 on a dress you will only wear once is just pure insanity. I was married in 2001, and was very proud of myself for finding a $300 dress. :D

Btw, this bride's gown is being ordered from Paris. I don't even want to think about what it probably costs! :eek: ( I wonder if she's flying to Paris for the fittings???)
 
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I got engaged last year (and subsequently un-engaged, lol!), but we didn't get any engagement presents. I have never heard of that!!
 
If they had an Engagement announcement or party send the gift. Othe wise bring it to the tea. I am from NY and my family always sends a gift whether or not they attended the event. So I would definetly do a gift for the tea and the bachelor party. For the bachelor party I would do something like a home depot gift card, this way it is manly. I was married in NY and I received a gift from everyone who was invited whether they attended ort not. Where I am from it is expected. I n the long run it will be appreciated and end up being short money. A gift is more than just a gift it acknowledges their marriage and supports and celebrates the couple.
 
Thanks, Soon. There was no engagement announcement or party. I'm planning to bring a gift to the Tea. Thanks for the Home Depot idea. I'll give it some thought.
 
Hi Nance!!

I say take your gift to the tea. I'd make sure it's got a pretty wrapping. I like to wrap my own gifts and I've been known to spend more on the wrapping than the actual gift! :eek: :D

I don't care for the extravagance of weddings today. They often seem like they're more about the party than about the seriousness of the commitment they are making. Having said that, I gave $500 to my nephew and his bride when they got married last year, and I will give the same amount to another nephew who is getting married next month.

P.S. I didn't spend anything on a gown. I wore my mom's dress! :D
 
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