Wedding etiquette

[akizora]

I've been invited as a date to a Vietnamese wedding. I looked it up on the Internet because I wanted to know what to expect and how to dress, etc. According to one of the sites, the prefered gift is cash in the form of a check, and about $50 per person is a good rule of thumb. My question is, am I expected to give a gift? I don't know the couple at all--I have never met them--I'm just going to keep my boyfriend company and be his dancing partner. But then again, I am another plate at dinner, and I'm sure this wedding is costing a lot. Normally I would just sign my name to the card but in this case if it turns out he's going to give cash I wonder if I should pony up too. Any thoughts?
Amy:+

 

[sparrow]

Amy, I would think it is $50 (or whatever) per couple. If you were inlcuded in the invite ("and guest") then one check would be sufficient, IMO. Of course if you and your SO wanted to, you could both throw in $50. I don't think anyone is ever offended by a little extra money

Sparrow

Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming ‘Wow - what a ride!’ — Peter Sage

 

[nancy324]

Your boyfriend should give a gift from both of you.
-Nancy

 

[wendybdh]

I agree that it is probably per couple and your boyfriend should take care of it for you (especially since you don't know them and he's invited you.) Hope that helps,

 

[red_mct]

I agree with Nancy, because the invitation was for your bf and you are his guest. Hope you have a good time!!

Marie

 

[Aquajock]

I'll be the dissenting opinion here:

If I could swing it financially (and I know money doesn't grow on trees, despite rumors about Americans to the contrary), I would include my own separate cash / check gift in the BF's card, or have a separate card and check-gift of my own. Who knows - you and the marrying couple might have the wedding as a starting point for a long-term friendship!

JMHO -

A-Jock

 

[maddiesmum]

If you do not know the couple personally and have been invited as a guest of a guest then etiquette does not require you to send an additional present and quite honestly, $50 per couple is plenty. No-one invites guests for the sake of the presents, but to have people to share the celebration of their happiness.

Clare