TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and other probs

[mregan]

Hi y'all,
I'm hoping some of you pregnancy veterans can help. About 8 months ago, my husband and I started trying to conceive. We are both older and married recently. The problem is my husband has not been able to have the stiff erections he was capable of in earlier days. He tried Viagra and Cialis, but both of these made him sick. Now, it's not that he's entirely soft. He can usually get it in, but it doesn't feel like it's always penetrating, and it sometimes feels like it could slip out. As you can imagine, he's not at all inclined to talk with anyone about this, so I feel pretty isolated. Any suggestions? I'm feeling the pressure of age, but I'm trying to keep it to myself so as not to add to performance anxiety. Anybody out there tried to conceive with a less than stiff husband? Is it even possible to get pregant when erectile dysfunction is involved?

Also, every time we have sexual contact, I seem to develop a yeast infection. My gynacologist has tested me for yeast and treated it twice already. Has anyone ever heard of sexual intercourse causing a yeast infection? Yes, it's yeast for sure--clumpy and white like cottage cheese and odorless. The doctor says I'm negative on STD's. Anyone have a clue about this?

Any suggestions or advice?
Manmohini

 

[dlavie]

On the erectile dysfunction would "adult entertainment" help? I'm not a porn promoter but would some of the racier movies help? I don't want to justify the more demeaning stuff but romance with a little nudity.

On the yeast infection, could your DH have a chemical issue with his ejaculatory output that is triggering your infections?

I think he should see his Urologist. I'm a guy and I'll ignore most pain but let me think somethings wrong with the "family jewels" and I'm at the doctor's within the week.

Dave

 

[win1jam]

RE: TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and o...

Hi there,

I'm no expert, but I do know that a couple can pass yeast infections back and forth through intercourse (even orally). I would recommend both of you seeing dr's and maybe getting on diflucan to treat the yeast. About the erectile dysfunction.....could you email me? I'd rather discuss that part off the boards.

jcwingate at hotmail.com

Jamie

 

[firmmamma]

RE: TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and o...

This is not at all uncommon...

My DH just turned 30 and has always had this problem...

We have two children because he is able to ejaculate even semi-hard...

he finally talked to dr. about Viagra...and it works for him with no side effects.

As far as the yeast...It is possible he has it too... he needs to see a dr too!

 

[hope2bfit]

RE: TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and o...

Hi Manmohini.

I am ttc #1 as well.

My DH is also experiencing some ED. He just turned 42 this past Saturday. He smokes alot. I've never even tried smoking. I know it's not healthy but it's an addiction. I can't make him quit. I do ask that he go outside (which he does) and he would never expose a baby to it. It's the best I can do on that situation for now.

The thing is he smokes about 2 packs a day! I've done some research on ED and it is related to smoking. When I told him about this, he said that he can't quit. He's never really tried. I'm hoping to convince him to al least try something to cut back...I bought a box of the patches a couple of years ago but he never even opened the box. They expired and had to be thrown away. I won't buy anything else unless he commits to it as it is too expensive to waste money on them.

He thinks it's his age. It can be but he refuses to go to the doc to get checked out. Now he's telling me if we were meant to have a baby, then it will happen. It's extremely frustrating!

I'm using the clearplan fertility monitor. I don't even tell me when I am close to ovulating or ovulating as I don't want him to feel any added pressure to exasperate his problem.

He tells me he needs viagra. I told him he needs to get it from a doc. So of course, that will never happen. Now he is surfing the net looking for natural viagra alternatives. There are some out there but I think it'll end up being a waste of money.

I'm trying not to let my frustration show each month but in the back of my mind, I'm thinking my biological clock is ticking....

Why are men so stubborn?

Good luck!

 

[mregan]

RE: TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and o...

Thanks Donna. I think it's the male ego thing, and I'm trying to respect that about my DH, so he doesn't feel blame or pressure. He did at least go see his doctor for Viagra, but he said he had a hard time admitting it to the doctor, and ended up minimizing it. We've exhausted the Viagra/Cialis route since the side effects were too much for him to deal with. His diet and lifestyle are probably are not the problem (He takes no caffeine, alcohol, tobacco, sugar, boxed foods, canned foods, junk food etc.; he's at his ideal weight, he exercises daily, and eats and lots of healthy whole foods). I'm beginning to think there's a psychological component involved (he was a celibate monk for 10 years), and I would like to talk with a mental health person, but I don't know who to ask about something like this. Also, I haven't tried yet, but I'm not sure my husband would be willing to expose that particular problem.

To avoid going completely nuts, the only one I have been speaking to about this (apart from anonymous cyber correspondents) is my mother-in-law. She's not trying to get pg and so doesn't have the pressure I face, but she told me her boyfriend has ED as well. I am amazed at how common this ED is among middle aged men.

Donna, I hope you can get your husband to quit smoking. That must be so frustrating.
Manmohini

 

[mregan]

RE: TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and o...

Hooray! So it is possible to get pg even if it's semi-hard? My DH can manage semi-hard.

 

[hope2bfit]

RE: TTC--hubby has erectile dysfunction (I think) and o...

Thanks and good luck to you as well.

My Dh is at his ideal weight but I think he could stand to gain a few pounds. He eats fairly healthy. I eat very clean and since I do all of the cooking, he eats what I do except for chips and salsa..

We don't eat any boxed foods etc. He does like a few beers every now and then. It's basically the cigs he needs to give up.

I think it may be a psychological compnoent for him as well which is why I try not to even mention conceiving and don't tell him when I'm ovulating so he won't be pressured. He didn't even have a problem with ED until we started trying and it was 4+ months without a pregnancy.

He won't talk to anyone. I can't even get him to see his doctor for a physical.

As far as a mental health professional, have you tried to find a forum where you can ask questions annonymously? Maybe he would feel better talking to someone in that way? I'm going to see if I can find something like that to at least get my dh to talk to someone and get an opinion from someone other than me regarding this. Maybe he'll listen to someone else...