Toddler Sleep Battles

[miller2917]

We are having a terrible time with my 2 1/2 year old daughter and bedtime.It is taking us anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours to get her down at night and frankly it's quite exhausting for everyone - not to mention she is cranky during the day from lack of sleep. Nothing we've tried seems to be working except letting her fall asleep in our bed and then moving her to her crib and even that takes an hour. We have a baby due in 6 weeks and I don't know what we're going to do - she says she needs both mommy and daddy to go to sleep.Is this just a phase or do we need to start getting firm? I don't want to yell at her and make going to bed a frightening experience yet I don't want her controlling us to this this extent.

A side note: We wanted to get her out of the crib (that new baby will sleep in) a month ago and into into a big girl bed (which will reside in the room that is currently our room) but we're having work done our house and long story short the contractors are behind and won't finish for another 2 weeks. Are we just asking for trouble if we try to move her 3-4 weeks before she gets a new sibling?

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[shopaholic]

Hi and congrats on #2.
Personally I recommend keeping your daughter in the crib it will make your life easier. My daughter will be 2.9 when our new one arrives and I have decided it will just create resentment if I give her bed away. Also, I like the crib, since she can't escape. I am believer in the cry it out method. It worked for me as a mom. I am also a therapist and had a client come in exhausted stating her 20 month old daughter wasn't napping or going to sleep when needed for the night. I urged her to let her daughter cry it out. 3 days later, less than 15 minutes of crying each shot, her daughter was back on track with nightime and napping sleeping. I think you are making things a little harder for yourself, especially when that new one arrives. Toddlers are smart and know how to get their parents to do what they want. Also, be careful with her in your bed as you probably will want to nurse the new baby in bed and you may have problems. But, all that said, do what works for you!

 

[emy]

In my opinion, it would be beneficial to you and your child to get her to fall asleep in her own bed/crib on her own. That should be your goal. Now getting there will be hard because you have established a precedent. And since toddlers thrive on routine, it will be hard to break your daughter of it. But by all means try everything you can to do so. I have seen it done on the nanny 911 and supernanny tv shows, so it can be done! But, I don't have any first hand experience, so if I think of anything I will let you know. Have you googled this topic for help? You should.

Also, your brand new baby doesn't technically need a crib right away, a bassinet, playpen, cosleeper, even a moses basket are fine for the first little while. This may give you time to get your toddler used to a new bed. Make it a special event, like a rite of passage, heck throw her a party for her new bed (get her sheets with something she likes on them) and maybe she will love it.

Good luck!

 

[shopaholic]

I forgot to give a book recommendation. The title is something like healthy child, healthy sleep. most bookstores carry it and it is quite helpful.

Emy also gave some great advice. newborns do not need a crib. we borrowed a bassinet but I realize now the bassinet on the pac and play would have been fine.

 

[christy g]

Great advice. I second keeping your child in the crib as long as possible.
Also, We have used the methods in "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth and they work! I think one of the big things that helped us is to have a solid night-time routine... brush teeth, PJ's, sit in the rocking chair while we talk about the activities of the day, read a story, then go to bed. The whole thing takes about 15-20 minutes. Generally there are no exceptions. She doesn't even cry anymore. She knows what is coming next, enjoys sleeping and will even ask for it too.

 

[miller2917]

Thanks for the advice. Things have been a little better the past 2 nights. I think what I am going to end up doing is getting the big girl room set up and letting her have both rooms at first. We'll put all of her clothes in the new bedroom but let her sleep in either the crib or the bed. The new baby can use the pack-n-play bassinet. My sister's little girl used it for the first 3 months. I think Nicole she be used to her new room by then.

 

[wendybdh]

I agree that you should definitely buy the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It is sooooo worth the money. I found out that some things that I thought I was doing right were only making bedtime worse. I used it and my 3 month old now goes to bed at 7 pm and sleeps till 7:15 in the morning and doesn't cry when she goes to bed and hardly fusses at all during the day. The book has different chapters for different aged children. Good luck and keep us posted