To go, or not to go

[beautifulsoul]

Hi everyone, Saturday is my 10 yr. high school reunion, I'm having a hard time deciding whether to go or not. I am curious to see how everyone looks these days and I would like to see some old friends again. On the other hand I would have to go alone, my fiance refuses to go with me. His ex-fiance graduated the same year and he does not want to run into her, (she left him after he had a car accident and was left wheelchair bound, actually cheated on him and left him while he was still in the hospital, that was 8 yrs. ago). He has friends he would like to see too, he complains we have no friends and he is bored. Should I try to talk him into it or just respect his feelings? I don't want to be selfish wanting him to go with me but I don't want to go alone so I probably won't go. I don't know, I just feel confused, bottom line is if I don't go there would be no regrets but maybe he could reconnect with some old friends and wouldn't be so bored.
Need Help!!
Adina

 

[megadoo]

I don't know if I can be helpful, but I think you two should go. Maybe you can try to tell him that after eight years he should totally let go of what his ex did. Don't let her influence his choices or keep him from doing something he wants to do. Don't let her have that power over him.
Plus, maybe it would make him feel better if he could "show" his ex how happy he is now, how well he is doing.
I really hope you guys go. I'm sure you would have a great time. Hope you can work through it. I would atleast try to talk to him about it a little more.
Wish you alot of luck with this difficult situation!

Maeghan AKA megadoo

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http://www.picturetrail.com/megadoo2

 

[amyg]

What happens if you go by yourself for a limited amount of time and get contact info for those you and your fiance want to see, and set up another time to see them??

I went to mine last fall, and it sucked. I only went to the school for 3 years and so no one remembered me, save one old friend I was glad to reconnect with. I've kept in contact with my 2 good friends from HS and see them every year or so. If I knew people and wanted to see them, I would definitely not miss it... but I would also definitely set a time limit on my time there!!!

Talk to your fiance, see who he wants to see, and try to almost "reschedule" the event for your HS friends, the ones you enjoyed and want to see!

I wouldn't pressure him into going. Can you set something up after the reunion with him? So you can say, "he's waiting for me... we're going to the movies" or something. That way, if he changes his mind or you see people who want to see him, he would be picking you up and they could come out to see him. That might be a nice solution so neither of you has to cave, but you still both can get your needs met.

Good luck!!!

 

[Miss Lee]

I totally agree with Maeghan that your fiance should not be influenced in any way by his ex. That's been over for years and he should be able to move on, unless, of course, he still harbors feelings for her.

On the other hand, I attended one class reunion, either my 5th or 10th, and it wasn't that much fun. I determined at that moment that I would never go to another one. Honestly, I'm still in touch with the people I care about and I don't care that much about the others. I graduated in 1973 and I have a whole new life with new friends, and I have neither the time nor the inclination to give up a weekend to spend time with people who have essentially become strangers.

I hope you get this all worked out to your satisfaction. If you decide to go I hope you enjoy it more than I did.

 

[red_mct]

Personally, I would rather pluck my fingernails out one by one than go to a class reunion, but that's just me.

I would be a little concerned if my fiancee was that worried about running into his EX. I agree it's a difficult and unique situation, but why does she still have that power over him after all this time? Actually seeing her might be good therapy.

I think you got some great advice here. He has to make up his own mind, too.

Marie

 

[lala1]

do you have any friends you can go with? I generally try to go to my reunions and don't think my DH has ever gone (for one thing, I live in WI and graduated in OH) But there are two friends with whom I get together to go to these. We have a good time.

 

[beautifulsoul]

Thank you all for your advice, it helped put things in perspective. There are only two people that I would actually like to see, I was really quiet and shy so I didn't have that many friend. Funny thing is, my fiance graduated 6 years earlier than me and knows more people and had more friends, lol. I will try to talk to him, see what happens. Thanks all.