Teachers do you feel offended , . . .

janie1234

Cathlete
when parents do not donate or volunteer? I freak out when I have to look through my kids back packs because there is always something that I have to buy or volunteer for. School pictures, book orders, PTA, donations for the class room (tissues, Clorox wipes, crayons, . . etc.) candy for a party, . . . or there is an assembly for this or that,a field trip, or class party. I work part time from home so my work schedule is flexible, . . but with the economy (my husband had a 10% cut in pay and my hours have been cut as well) we just don't have the extra money to donate and buy everything that comes home. With tall the stress I've been through with my MIL passing, . .I am just not in the volunteering mood either.
 

maddiesmum

Cathlete
Sounds like you have been donating time, energy and money consistently for a while now so it is definitely time that you took a break and that other parents stepped up to donate their time and energies.

Don't feel bad about it either. You have done your part and these things work better if all pitch in, that way, the kids are on the receiving end of innovative ideas and the renewed energies of a fresh face and body, rather than the same old, tired out parent who would rather be doing her laundry than be at the school!

Now, take that break. No-one has any reason to get offended. You did good.

Clare
 

fitg

Cathlete
I have been teaching for a long time and I have never been offended by this. I live in Michigan in a high poverty area. Some of the kids don't even come to school with clean clothes on, they tell me stories about how they couldn't sleep last night because it was so cold in their house since they had their heat turned off. There are a lot of issues in my area. Every area in the country, really. I get it.

I do ask for antibacterial wipes, kleenex, celebration donations, etc. If the parents don't provide it, I usually do. The office has come through with some antibacterial wipes for us. I don't know where the money came from, but I am grateful. I know they are expensive.

When I do ask for those things in a letter, I always add that if you can't, please do not worry about it. I also tell the kids that I do not want them pressuring their parents about bringing in things for celebrations. I was a kid once, I know how they operate.

We have been given a directive to avoid fundraising, since we have so many struggling families. I was talking to my principal and she gets a list of all the students who are considered "economically disadvataged." By law, she cannot share the names. She said I would be shocked if I saw it. It is not the kids you would think.

Oh man, this is really making me sad talking about it.

Please do not feel bad about it. I hope the teacher isn't making you feel bad. That is not right.

I am sorry for your loss.
 
Last edited:

RunninTeach

Cathlete
I tell kids & parents I would be grateful for tissues, hand sanitizer, and gently-worn books, but there is absolutely no pressure, and I would never be offended. Every now & then, I might grumble a little at a system that leaves teachers no choice but to buy these things ourselves (and/or ask for help), but I feel just as much for the parents and all that they are asked to dish out nowadays.
 

wutherhi

Cathlete
I think you are in much the same situation the teachers are in these days.

Like the other teachers who have weighed in, I am shocked when I DO find volunteers or receive the things I ask for, even before the economic crisis kicked in. The only reason I bother to send out letters is because the odd contribution here or there means that much less I have to pay for myself. One thing I refuse to do is let the kids suffer.

These days, my school district pays for next to nothing -- no field trips, no craft supplies, no celebrations, not even antibacterial wipes. Well, they did buy us one container per classroom when the news came out that we had H1N1 in our school.

So you see, you're in the same boat with the teacher. You're one of the few doing everything. That's why you feel so overwhelmed. And no, we are most definitely NOT offended when parents can't help. We know all too well how it is. It IS overwhelming. Speaking as just one teacher, I'd like to thank you and others like you for your dedication and your feeling of obligation. There are just a few who do everything. We're grateful for you, but you've done enough for now. You deserve to take a break for a while -- without guilt.

Shari
 

janie1234

Cathlete
Thanks everyone. Yes, I do feel a little guilty, my son has aspergers so for the first years of elementary school, . .he's in 3rd grade now I volunteered all the time, to support for the teachers and keep tabs on my son, . . .he used to get pushed around in preschool. He's a smart kid does great academically but can have focus issues. Thing is I have 2 kids so it means double the volunteering, and purchasing, and donating and this year I just can't afford to. I love the school and I love his teachers, they work so darn hard and all with love for their jobs that I admire them so much. I wish I could do more for them because I know that they don't get the funding they need and this year they just increased the size of the classes.
 

EricaH

Cathlete
Wow - this is just the opposite of the attitudes of many of the teachers in our district. They are acting like there has been no change in the economy and expecting a lot from parents. The thing I find most upsetting is that our high school has all kinds of trips planned for the kids that cost a lot of money. Senior trip to D.C., band trip to NYC ($800+ some meals), Spanish trip, etc. Many parents (including myself) have multiple kids in the high school that are offered multiple trips. How are parents supposed to be paying for this at this time? So, now the parents feel guilty for not being able to provide the opportunity for their kids to go on these trips and the kids feel singled out for not being able to afford the trips. I just don't understand what the teachers are thinking.

Our teachers also just threatened to go on strike if they didn't get a raise. I guess they just negotiated a contract with the school board and I don't know if they got their raise or not. Almost all the parents I know are dealing with layoffs/paycuts/underemployment and resent that the teachers demanded a raise at this time.

Erica
 

ImFiddY

Cathlete
This was my experience with a school band fund raiser. My son did not turn in his band fundraiser sheet with any purchases. When the band class had a reward session for the kids who sold the most the band director called my son's name, made him stand up, and then announced that he would have received a reward if he had sold something.

I pulled my son out of band and wrote a letter to the principal and got a limp apology. When I asked the band director about what he had done he had no remorse. Amazing.
 

EricaH

Cathlete
This was my experience with a school band fund raiser. My son did not turn in his band fundraiser sheet with any purchases. When the band class had a reward session for the kids who sold the most the band director called my son's name, made him stand up, and then announced that he would have received a reward if he had sold something.

I pulled my son out of band and wrote a letter to the principal and got a limp apology. When I asked the band director about what he had done he had no remorse. Amazing.
That's awful!!! What a terrible thing to do to a kid! :(

Erica
 

jcm

Cathlete
I would have been LIVID if a teacher did that to my kid. I'm furious even thinking about your son!! Sorry, but that's just sick.
 

gogigi

Cathlete
Offended, no, but VERY grateful for the few who do volunteer or donate needed items. Someone has to buy the stuff and usually it comes out of my pocket. We all go through rough patches and I understand that but I have a hard time believing the high number of parents who can't/don't volunteer or donate needed classroom items every now and then.

That being said, I've been blessed to work in a school the past couple of years where I have very involved parents but my experience before that was very little involvement with volunteering or donations and it just kind of made me sad rather than offended.
 

melanalyus

Cathlete
Well, I've lived in two school systems......both which acted like I was a nuisance when I wanted to volunteer.

At our last school, they had budjet cuts & I listened to the principal speak about not having enough help or money to provide the service to the kids that we needed. Afterwards, I had a talk with him asking why they don't take volunteers if they need so much help? He did get me plugged in. But the next school year I had the same issue, and actually had my son's teacher say, "I don't need volunteer help this year". Wow, 30 kids in her class....and she doesn't need help?

When we moved into a new district & I volunteered to help in my son's preschool class. The teacher said she "might" be able to use me, but I had to fill out background paperwork. I didn't mind filling out the paperwork......but "I" was responsible for providing a $50 check to cover the background check. When I inquired about the how the process was going....never heard anything. So basically, I paid $50 for a background check, asked to help in my son's class......and was shot down.

I am a pharmacist in my community & have had extensive background checks....in case you were wondering if I passed or not. :p

Frustrating.....
 

hopefull

Cathlete
absolutely not!

I feel bad about having to ask. I am both, a teacher and a parent. I think its a shame that schools have to do fund raisers etc. In all honesty,educating your child is all I can handle. I didn't participate in my daughter's school fund raiser this year. I didn't have time, and I didn't have money. We were down to one income all summer. My husband has gone back to work, but he is working out of town. It's all on my back during the week, and I just can't do any more. We are all taking our licks right now. I wish everyone could just do a little bit, and then it wouldn't fall on the back of a few to do so much. I will tell you thougth, that from a teacher's perspective, the most valuable thing you can do is give of some time. There are many things that I could use help with in my classroom that don't take money, just a person willing to cut, color, glue, listen to a kid read, help with remediaiton, or a science lab. It's time that I find myself so short of. I can creatively get past the "things". Time is the big issue for me.
 

Our Newsletter

Get awesome content delivered straight to your inbox.

Top