Sooooooooo Frustrated!!!!

[dr.mel_PT]

I know I can't force people to change their ways but my parents are really aggravating me!!! My dad has very high blood pressure, recently developed a thyroid problem and is recovering from tongue cancer (he doesn't smoke and isn't a heavy drinker). I told my mom she really needs to cut out all the processed food she buys; the high sodium, high sat fats and all the additives/preservatives might not be direct contributors to his health problems, but they definitely don't help any! After his cancer op and the thyroid problem, I told her to read labels to check what's in there and avoid anything that mentioned partially hydrogenated oils; she told me to mind my own business and ignored me. Now, he just went to the doc last week and his BP is something crazy like 183/90!!!!!!!!! WAY too high. He is only 52 and has a physical job so this can easily be prevented if we just change the way we eat. The doc put him on meds and he's experiencing a lot of the side effects. I told my mom we REALLY need to be more conscious of what we're eating because this is SO easily preventable!!! I bet if he changed his diet, he would be able to lower his BP and stop taking the meds (not to mention erectile dysfunction is 1 side effect of the drugs so wouldn't she want to avoid that?!).

I'm not saying mom is 100% to blame; dad is a grown man and can make his own choices but I think that if the food stops coming in the house then he will be less likely to eat it. Everyone needs to be supportive and follow a new way of eating and thinking about food. This crap isn't good for any of us! A healthy diet never hurt anyone. I'm just so frustrated and don't know how to make them get it!!!!!

 

[syzygy314]

Sounds like you have a very tough problem on your hands. Why don't you try a slower approach? Maybe if you just gently suggest reducing sodium in his diet to start and see if you can get your Mom to agree to lower the salt intake.

With some people it can be too overwhelming to try to think about or change everything at once. Ask her if you can go grocery shopping with her and help her select "favorite foods" that are in the produce section and point out the reduced sodium foods. THEN, take another step if you can get her to do that.

Baby steps might be the answer.

Good luck!

 

[ellesan]

Be an example

I know you are so frustrated with your parents, but as you know, people don't change until they want to or have a big enough reason. It's sad that the things you've mentioned haven't been big enough reasons for them yet.

Pushing the point and getting angry shows that you care and your passion, but it's only pushing them away. The very best thing you can do (IMO) is be an example and every now and then offer to help if they would like. If not, leave it alone and keep being a great example of health and fitness.

When they are ready for help they will ask for it. Unfortunately, although you are trying to help, most people don't appreciate (good intentioned) unsolicited advice--even our families. Hang in there!

 

[cakebaker]

Powdered butt syndrone

I'm going to borrow a phrase from Dave Ramsey, financial guru, who says that anyone who has powdered your butt is most likely not going to take advice from you, and that's what we're looking at here. Your parents are going to have to come to terms with this situation themselves, unfortunately. There's not much you can do except lead by example - you can't "make them get it." I have a son who could stand to lose 80# or so, and he'll just have to decide to fix it himself. He knows he's fat and what he has to do, but he's not ready to do it now, so I know just how you feel.